My mind, like rusted gears, was not moving well. It hadn’t been really since my 1st pregnancy 8 years ago. There are few things that dumb us down as much as pregnancy and children! Hormone changes, lack of sleep, fluctuating from 145-200-145 pounds three times, and then the subsequent growing beloveds around me to contribute to mental dissociation. Simple sensory overload from talking, yelling, crying, petitioning, inquiring kids factors in. You may read more about sensory issues here.
Daily writing, like a staunch governess, found my brain under cobwebs, bug carcasses, and musty stench. (Hello old friend! There you are!) This helps to explain the joy gripping my hand, like girlfriends on the playground, when I sit down to write! The world is active to me, including rather than excluding me. My in-between moments used to hang like an old woman’s breasts. Now much more time full of nourishing thoughts bless me. I am in awe.
My patient came in sighing deeply. He wasn’t better. No, he said. He lacked motivation and interest and connection from the world. He felt selected out to suffer. A dumping ground for misfortune and misunderstood. Efforts through medication, after medication changes were like looking for love in all the wrong places.
We talked about cognitive distortions, tapping into things that used to make him happy, road-blocks in poorly designed neurological grooves – volunteering at the library or animal shelter, journaling, sharing his life story with others, exploring his spirituality. No. No good. Nor could he consider psychotherapy as he’d been through too much of it already to consider it again. And he just couldn’t get interested in groups such as through NAMI.
Being a friend means yelling, fighting to reclaim your journey, finding something to connect you to your process of life. My patient was letting squatters take his property simply by being absent.
Self Care Tip #60 – Claim your right to health. Be a friend to yourself.
Question: What has helped you connect with your own journey in life? What do you think? Please tell me your story.