Your Heroic Self – Waiting For Normal

Self-Care Tip #82 – Have courage to go for what is lovely to you in life.  Be a friend to yourself.

Pretty, blond, about 5’6″, slender, in her 30′s, mother and wife, no funny shapes or movements but Britt still asked me, “Am I normal?”  It takes guts to ask someone that.

I just finished this heart-squeezing book, “Waiting For Normal,” by Leslie Connor.  (Yes!  I finally read a book!  It took me 5 times as long but it was no less pleasurable.)  Connor tells us about pre-teen Addie who grew up on the waves of her bipolar mom’s chaos, salvaging bits of wreckage along the way to survive.  Addie is the life-preserver her mom uses for life.  Addie’s own buoy through it all is her hope of one day finding normalcy.  She uses all her smarts to avoid the thrust her mom’s messes force on her.  It requires her full attention.  Addie must have looked pressed for something because her Mom finally asked her

What’s so special?  What are you chasing after?!

Addie was fisting optimism when she answered

I’m not chasing after anything.  I’m waiting.  Waiting for normal.

Later Addie explains to her mom

Normal is when you know what’s gonna happen next.  Not exactly what because probably nobody gets that.  But normal is being able to count on certain things.  Good things.  And it’s having everyone together – just because they belong that way.

My son used to have shaggy hair with curls that flew at the world around him.  He came home the other day and told me he wanted it short.  I finally figured out that because none of the other boys in his class had longer hair, neither should he.  He showed me pictures of what his hair should look like.  The whole process was too cute.

We are all looking for normal.

Putting aside defining normal, for now I am content to just contemplate the largeness of the effort to find it.  The journey, the process, the coming into such a thing reveals the beauty in one’s character and essence.  It is that, rather than the “hair-cut” that makes me say, “Wow!”

When Britt, my patient, strove towards her health and normalcy, her intent in context was lovely.  She seemed to me, in those moments we shared together, as one of the great heroes of our day.  A woman of courage.

Self-Care Tip #82 – Have courage to go for what is lovely to you in life and appreciate the beauty in your heroic self.  Be a friend to yourself.

Question:  Have you struggled with the question, “Am I normal?”  Please tell me your story.

6 thoughts on “Your Heroic Self – Waiting For Normal

  1. A good post.

    “My son used to have shaggy hair with curls that flew at the world around him. He came home the other day and told me he wanted it short. I finally figured out that because none of the other boys in his class had longer hair, neither should he”

    — conformity…. not “normality” … *sigh*

    PS: Thanks for tweeting me!

    • hello thysleroux! u r welcome and “earned” any support through your excellence. i’m having fun tagging in your site and hope all the other readers out there check u out too! such fun should not b under a bushell! no! maybe if u like, i can use some of your pics in some posts?
      thanks for reading and commenting. ah support is no small matter! keep on!

  2. definitely! a question that used to frequent my mind was if i was normal or not. i finally came to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a “normal” person.its better that way, i think, in general it makes it easier to accept one’s self….even though i realize this, i often (daily) make the mistake of thinking that normality parallels perfection.
    we NEED to have the perfect hair, perfect wardrobe, the perfect body, perfect family, job, be the perfect parent, sibling, Christian, etc. etc etc etc the list goes on.. ..

    being a type A personality slash people pleaser, wanting to excel in everything i constantly feel the need to be perfect, and im always falling short . everybody has their quirks, nobody is normal, and the older im getting im learning to embrace these quirks, differences bc its what makes us unique and adds character/definition to life. :)

    good post. very thought provoking, i look forward to reading the next.

  3. Shaggy hair with curls….I love it..that story simply made my heart smile and….long for days with my 2 boys when they were young! They were my normal then..

    Now my grandson is 4 and loves his gwama and I still, so often, wait for normal. .sigh. I had 2 or 3 deeply depressed days (scared me; no meds you know) Am better tonight and find or am remembering rather, that waiting, for normal that is, can last a lifetime and I’m tired of waiting.

    The process, the journey….has been bittersweet to say the least ; the largeness of it looms over me still and I am still inclined to say that I am still waiting but I am trying to find other things to occupy my life….

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