How do I get him to see it?
How do we get our friends, our husbands, our wives and kids and patients to see the elephant in the room? My patients ask me this and I ask this of myself.
I want to feel better. I just want to get to the bottom of this!
Will someone please just treat what is wrong and I can move on?!
There is this implication that someone is plotting against progress to derail us from appropriate therapies, treatments, walnuts and soy milk. Why they would want to do that, no one agrees on.
When Cincy said something to this effect in clinic, a huge shade in the shape of an elephant in the room, caught my eye and it was distracting. I smiled at the wraith and conspired with it on how it could best gain acclaim. I tried to explain what I was seeing to Cincy, but how does one describe an apparition? I’ve never heard anyone do it better than Edgar Allan Poe and so I know it can be done. I’m learning. I needed to learn from Cincy.
Teach me Cincy. Help me learn how to speak of these things better.
I felt like I should know that already. But we physicians don’t graduate with a certificate in introducing elephants.
Trying to do the teaching-thang in clinic or out of clinic, if we want to get anywhere, we can’t do much if we aren’t both seeing the elephant. Talking about solutions, about treatments, motives or anything that doesn’t redirect each of us back to that specter in some way is skipping critical development. Counterintuitive, the immediate task at hand becomes more and more simple when there are ghosts about.
He doesn’t want me to take medication because he is afraid of what his mother will say.
Start talking about Me and not about him. How does Me factor in to deciding on medications?
Smoking is my last vice and I’m not here to talk about it. I’m here to talk about why I’m tense all the time.
Tension happens when our blood vessels constrict. Tension increases when our heart rate….
Well, goodness. You don’t want this from me now on this post. I’m just trying to talk about that darn elephant.
When things feel complicated, when conspiracies seem to be around, when we hear ourselves naming others to explain our condition, when we avoid talking about something and when we lose Me -> reduce. Still missing it? Get even more basic. Soon we’ll see the shade. The elephant is there to help us, not shame us. He’s there to bring us back to Me where everything starts and ends.
Question: How has the elephant in the room improved or worsened your self-care? Please tell us your story.
- The Elephant in the Room (vanessaannewalsh.com)