If you are not deeply grounded in who you are and what you are doing, if you have not done your own work on your own entitlement and issues, you will by snagged be what others think about you. This is why what YouTube comments have nothing to do with the video.
When you actually make something and take the risk and roll up your sleeves, when you choose to get off the couch, you become a wall for others to bounce off. Think of movie reviewers who sit for two hours in a movie and write their review, but never spent a minute on the set nor participated in the grueling effort to create it. What right do they have?
The sense of being disempowered is terrifying. This motivates both sides of this relationship – the creators and the responders. The people who are the very best, work very very hard on the basics and that is why is looks casual and easy.
Bruce Springsteen’s new album drops today. A man of hard labor and great flow in performance. How old is he now?! He targets everyday people searching for redemption. He has been around long enough to gather criticism but here he still is, productive, creative, connecting with the world.
When you receive criticism, step one is not to defend. Do not send them to the website where they can learn more. Step one is to find out what else is in the room.
You may go down the trail of defending, whip out your power point, only to find out that their question is a place holder. They do not understand why you got off the couch and started talking. Understand where the criticism is coming from. You defuse things this way and also get to the question behind the question.
Say, “Tell me where that is coming from.” Or, “Tell me more.”
The sooner you can figure out what else is in the room, what other associations are made from what you just said or did, the sooner you have connection and efficacy.
- This post is credited to thoughts gleaned from Rob Bell. Thank you Rob Bell.
Question: How have others attacked your best efforts? How have you been able to separate what is about you and what is about them? How have you helped the others in their conflict so in the end you were able to connect? Or not? Please tell your story.
Self Care Tip: Own your own junk and let others own theirs to connect.