It doesn’t have to be that complicated. “I only go two places. The tattoo parlor to hang out with my buddies or the beach.” He says he doesn’t have a cell phone or a computer. I see him every week with his wife, doing what he can to support her as she teaches a class for my 3-year-old. He smiles and chortles and pokes with satire. He has shown me his skin art several times and it is easy to see what these represent. The people he loves and who love him.
In the film written and directed by Derrick Borte, “The Joneses,” we watch a pseudo-family move into a gorgeous home with intent to market their wares to the unsuspecting towns-folk. As they are instruments in sales, they become infected with purchasing-power-fever. As their own fantasies grow of being the perfect family unit, so does the definition of what it takes to be one. Being happy individually as well as relationally equals easy access to riches and easy life. The glitch is that they are not a family nor does the new this or that belong to any of them. Like making a deal with Ursula the purple octopus-witch, they are ensnared. It becomes a hard choice to regain the rights to their lives. In the end, they barely escape with the understanding of what they can really claim as their own – love.
The other day when our dog was dyeing, at bedtime I was able to debrief with our daughter about her feelings. “I know you love me Mommy but it felt like you loved Maggie more than me. Even though I knew you loved me more, I didn’t feel it Mommy.” For someone who can barely see around her Ego, that’s pretty amazing! From her beautiful child-self, she told us that love is there even when we don’t feel it.
My husband was telling me his “Good News,” quite different from rights of passage like a fraternity. It is that God is already right here with each of us and unrelated to our performance. We all have Love, regardless of lost opportunities, low-character, higher learning, or technology.
It’s not that complicated.
Self Care Tip #51 – Take what is yours. Be a friend to yourself.
Question: Agree or disagree? What do you think? Please tell me your story.