“The day has been ruined!” Bella said. Her eyes sparkled and flashed as she spoke of her injury. Bella was not so pleased with her labor’s reward. She was not so satisfied with being accountable for her children‘s behaviors, when they thwarted her every effort at having a good family experience.
Five pieces to Bella’s puzzle:
- endless new beginnings
- victim or what?
- our reward
- accountability in parenting
- all-or-none catastrophizing
There are many approaches to these provocations but I’ll tell you mine – a blend of others. There’s a lot in Bella’s list. Let’s take the next few days to explore them. I’m not sure how long I’ll be interested in these topics but that’s the plan for now!
In the mean time, it would be GREAT! to hear from you. Please tell me your thoughts on any or all of these.
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I don’t have kids (by choice) and I thinks parents are the bravest people around!
As for being accountable … tough one. though, I’ll leave the answer to the experts this time 🙂
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i doubt the ease of having children or not, friend. of course i only know my story. and u r right! it is hard!!! 😉 keep on!
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I used to do the “all-or-none” thing all the time until, during a therapy session, I was given an essay, written by my therapist’s husband, on black and white thinking. Now, when “the whole day” has been ruined and I am “my whole life is a disaster”, I think about his suggestion that really only part of my day was ruined – the part when I was hurt or angry or frustrated or depressed, etc. – and, even then, only PART of me was totally miserable. I was still able to think about other things, get things done around the house, talk to a family member or friend. It’s really calming to know that I can hurt and still function because there are so many pieces of me and my life that are still okay. Suddenly, everything seems to be easier to deal with.
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wow! done. excellent comment nancy. i’m pinning that to my mirror. keep on, courageous woman!
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