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Self-Care Tip #105 – Grow up, think on your own, and stay connected. Be a friend to yourself.
Staying connected doesn’t mean loosing your freedom. Staying connected doesn’t mean immaturity. And independent thought doesn’t mean disconnecting from others or your foundation in life.
When we move into adulthood, we move into roles requiring responsibility, autonomous decision-making, teaching like parents. This is confusing don’t you think when we were designed to be connected? Well when something feels so wrong inside, listen to it. There is a incongruence with what you intuitive know. Independence includes dependence
Adulthood means learning to have creative thought while being willing to learn. It means disconnecting while remaining connected. It’s not all-or-none. It’s seeing the strength in vulnerability. Part of taking care of “Me” includes choosing dependence.
Dependence never takes away freedom. Sometimes when I listen to people telling me how I should feel or think, I feel caged and start doing things to make me feel less caged. Unfortunately sometimes that isn’t a healthy thing, like eating chocolate or… well it’s often eating for some reason. Other people do this too. They may cut on themselves or bang their head. Unnecessary, because we are free no matter. Drugs. Whatever it is that in the moment somehow springs you from the phantom cage only to put you in another.
Question: How do you live free yet connected? How do you deal with feelings of infancy, immaturity, loosing freedom when it comes? Please tell me Your story.
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Too many times I have been told that you never really grow up until both of your parents have died. I wish that weren’t true, but, unfortunately, I think it’s more true than we’d like to believe. It’s too easy for parents to be parents and too natural for their children – at any age – to go along with whatever thoughts, beliefs, demands, etc. their parents have ingrained into them, to one extent or the other….or, sadly, in some cases, to just break away completely.
How wonderful it would be if we all could, as children, respect our parents but still become the adults WE choose to be…and that we, as parents, could allow that to happen without feeling hurt or angry. I’m proud of my daughter who knows when to say “No” and does it with strength but also with sensitivity..and, often, humor! She’s her own person at 38. I’m not my own person at almost 70. My daughters are still connected but also free, and I’m thinking that that has a lot to do with love and respect which goes both ways.