Ben‑Enwonwu‑Negritu
Self-Care Tip #154 – Go towards Love.
I realize that many of us talk about the 12-Steps, we know people working the 12-Steps, we even recommend the 12-Steps but have never read them through. So here they are. For all of us. A wonderful walk with and towards love.
The 12 Steps To Serenity
- Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable
- Step 2 – Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
- Step 3 – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
- Step 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
- Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
- Step 6 – Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
- Step 7 – Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
- Step 8 – Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
- Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
- Step 10 – Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
- Step 11 – Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out
- Step 12 – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
Question: What do you think of these steps? Please tell me your story.
Related Articles
- On the 12 steps to a compassionate life: Q&A with Karen Armstrong (ted.com)
- Love is Blind…and Numb?: Why You Can’t Always Feel When Love Hurts (psychologytoday.com)
There, but for the grace of God, go I …
since you bring god up ill tell you one of my storys about god god loves us all but where was i taught this a few mounth back i was homeless i was at my mams and i was kicked out form my mams by my brother i had no money the police came esccorted me to the nearest bus station i had no money id been kicked out form my best mate as well at this time anyway i was near the bus station and this mini bus came along and this bloke asked how i was weird yer dont talk to strangers maybe this one was worth i told him my situwation he siad if you come to my service god will help you out this was at 6 at night and he had plenty other people on the bus anything was worth a try i was desperate at the time so i went in this bus and went to this church service i fell asleep in it but i did wake up i was tired to so i sat threw the service siad my prayers and at the end the same bloke siad god loves you he gave me the money to get back to my mates from the church he dorve me to the station and i got the bus back to my mates he had calmed down by then and i had a place to live again this is one of the weirdest and good things that has happened to me and i thank them and i thank god now the chances of that happening are very low but it happened to me
or and another thing he had the same name as me kevin and my best mate is called kevin who i live with
I remember hearing about these things……….
“Resident freeloader” quickly stopped by for his daily online consultation.
Thank you for posting this.
I have seen these steps make quite a difference to a person’s life during my university days.
dear resident freeloader, u r one of my favorites to indulge! keep talking, drawing, and doing what u do. we like to support starving artists such as your sort.
My son is addicted and it breaks my heart. He’s been diagnosed with Panic disorder, ADHD, OCD, and maybe others I’ve forgotten. He “self medicated” with heroin, was put on Methadone, switched to Oxycodone as a method of getting off all drugs, but actually, he believes he can never get off. Staying on addictive drugs doesn’t work because the dose is never enough. My son must be convinced that his need to get off is more necessary than anything else. I keep praying for him and will continue. I’ve tried to help him and still am. Waiting for the breakthrough…
I like your blog. I will return. Blessings to you…
Hi Carol Ann. What do we do when someone we love is hurting? The prayers of a mother continually rise before the Father over and over in His secret holy place. Thank u for sharing some of your story with us. Keep on.
Mrs Hoel: I got custody of my daughter at 13 and she ran away to explore the wonderful world of crack cocaine. This went on for five years and never knew of her whereabouts except a little glimpse here and there. I had to go to the police station to sign for dental records in case they found a body in a canal or trash dumpster. She did a little better next 6 years, but in and out of rehab. I now have 2 grandchildren and she has 18 months clean. Some survive and some do not. All you can do is be there for him but you cannot provide and enable him. It is his life and you must go on with or without him because you have a life too. Don’t squander it . My prayer for you both.
thank you Carl for speaking up!
Thank you both for your encouragement. Yes, my secret weapon against my son’s addition is prayer. It’s all I can do. I literally had to escape to protect my ability to care for my husband and myself. My husband has Alzheimer’s and I’m his caregiver. We are separated from my son by many miles now, but my heart is still aching for him. I do not support his habit. I did when I was convinced that his medical needs required it. It doesn’t matter what his medical needs are, addiction will eventually kill him. Thanks you again.
I never completed the steps but I did want to come by and say hello Sana 🙂
wink. i see u. always glad.
Any suggestions on a topic, I am thinking “daily care..:
Hmmmm….. the twelve steps. I think I will come out of my shell and share what I know. The steps are used in over 100 different programs designed to overcome hopeless states of addiction, obsession, and compulsion. Alcoholics Anonymous was the first to use the “Twelve Steps”. AA’s founder, along with Dr. William Silkworth, Psychiatrist William James, and members of a movement called the Oxford group all combined to create these twelve steps.
The first step is the only step that mentions alcohol (or a specific malady). The rest of the steps are based on the concept that alcohol (or whatever) is but a symptom of the disorder. When people first see the steps….. they skip straight to 4 and 5 and then 8 and 9 and cringe. The steps are in order for a reason. None of the steps are hard to work once you have reached a point of willingness and utter defeat. Kind of a paradox but true.
Lest anyone think that I have forgotten about our leader, DQ. Outstanding paragraph of insight! Keep up the good work and stuff.
Thank u mr Rick for coming out of your shell, as thick or thin as it may b. ;). I lk very much the long reach that the 12-steps has. Thanks for highlighting that and all that u said
I never knew what all of the 12 steps were, but I have read somewhere (I wish I could cite my sources better here) that the 12 steps are the most effective program to date for overcoming alcohol addiction. I think those steps have so much beauty to them, now that I see them laid out here.
thank u dear sarah. it is powerful even to see them in print. sometimes when i read them, i think about the sea of people, the number i could never guess of lives that have worked with them, that have been changed.
Sarah,
I totally agree. They do have a beauty to them. I believe that the first step is the only step that you have to do perfectly. This makes sense to me and kind of explains why the twelve steps don’t just work for everyone and any “problem”. For example, by all definitions of the word, I am addicted to Diet Coke (I am not paid to endorse this product. I am willing to be). I can admit that I am powerless over DC and mean it, but… it has yet to make my life unmanageable. Drugs and alcohol (and several other addictions) have a way of creating devastation significant enough to make a life “unmanageable”.
Statistics on AA and other 12 step programs are difficult to come by. Obviously, the anonymous aspect and the lack of formal organization make the membership and success hard to track. Also, many of the people who attend meetings are not necessarily there by choice, nor do they have any real interest in quitting. Their presence is the result of the court, the wife, the parents, etc. On the other hand, for those who have reached a point of total powerlessness and unmanagability…the twelve steps DO work if they are ready to admit it.
rick, that was some good writing. thoroughly enjoyed it. i luv the expansion on “unmanageable.” I luv the perspective of powerlessness. thank u so much. keep talking. (I know, I don’t need to invite you, but even so, I really mean it. as u say, seriously.)
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