Self-Care Tip – Enjoy what you do or else find out why you don’t.
I often ask patients when I am taking their mood history,
Are you able to feel pleasure?
I need to figure out how to ask this without you or anyone thinking that I want to know more about lube and feathers. No, thank you very little. But what I am trying to ask about is the ability to enjoy what you are doing. It is not necessarily “joy” but at least it includes having a positive sense about you while you are progressing through something. Being able to feel pleasure does not mean being happy at a fiesta or while doing kangaroo jumps with your child. It does not mean changing your personality so that someone who prefers to work turns into someone who is playful, or a grazer* turns into a barn animal*.
Feeling pleasure does not mean that we achieve our fantasies. It does not mean we are on vacation.
To understand what pleasure is, it helps to understand ones temperament. It is enjoying what you do when you do your thing. For example, if you are someone who in any given day or mood and regardless of weather or wealth would want to complete the work for the day – when you do that, are you feeling it? Are you feeling pleasure? Or, to contrast, if you are someone who would more often choose an unstructured and unmarked day – how is it going down for you? Are you feeling pleasure?
Pleasure when you are doing your thing is quality of life. If you do not feel it, life is crackers without soup. It comes and goes dry and without anticipation. If you do not feel pleasure, you lose your perceived connections around you and including with yourself. Suffering is when you feel alone, even from your self. Losing the ability to feel pleasure results in suffering.
Not everyone connects that emotional illness is a state of suffering – whatever one or combination of illness(es) come to us in. Looking in at ourselves, at our Me, from the outside, we observe expressions and behaviors that we interpret from our own bank of information and intuition. When I tell someone, what you are observing in your child, or wife or whomever is my patient at the time with mental illness – when I say,
They are really suffering,
it tugs our unconscious awareness into consciousness We often do not actively know about this internal world where there is no pleasure. We do not know that lacking pleasure leads to suffering.
Are you able to feel pleasure? Do you find it harder to feel pleasure than you used to? What things do you still enjoy? How long has it been since you last felt pleasure?
The ability to feel pleasure is a wonderful gift.
Questions: What has helped you most in healing your suffering? What has helped you connect again with others when illness pulls you away? Please tell me your story.*Reference: Temperament definitions according to Dr. Q: grazer = someone who comfortably wanders from idea to idea barn animal = someone who is goal oriented and does not like things unfinished
- When Self-Care Gives Pleasure, You Will Be Friendlier To Yourself (friendtoyourself.com)
- Pleasure (mypleausure.wordpress.com)
- Free and Easy Pleasure: Giving A Compliment (psychologytoday.com)
- Just to Feel Pleasure (friendtoyourself.com)
- Clinging To Pleasure (toknowbeauty.wordpress.com)
- My Guilty Pleasure (geniusandinsanity.wordpress.com)
- Pleasure (honestpuck.wordpress.com)
- The criteria for thinking and speaking: it feels pleasurable (joypassiondesire.wordpress.com)