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Guest Blogger: Dogtor Timothy Q.
For some time “The Queen”, as we like to refer to her, has asked me to help out with her fine blog. Technically, she may have never asked directly. However, I think “Stay in the gosh darn yard before I go bazookas” could be translated into our language as “Please write my blog for me”. I would like to begin by introducing myself. My name is Timothy and I am a dog that lives in a magical floating house that is at the top of the bottom of a hill. (This confuses me, also. I just go with what I am told.) As you may have guessed… Our Queen is none other than the very “I’m gifted”, “I’m talented”, and “shucks I am so fat” … Dr. Q. This description is not my own, but rather, what she repeats each morning as she looks into the mirror before chasing the fine young prince and princesses around the house as the one we like to call “The Knight” pets us and escapes.
I have worked on this for the last month. Not because I have a lack of things I would like to say, but because paws and keyboards do not go well together. This is just one of the many discriminations that we as dogs face. I am proud to say that, rather than make excuses or bark endlessly about my problems (I tried that once and endured something called mad neighbor with a water hose), I have learned to use my nose. My tongue worked better but seemed to create issues with the computer.
I grew up with all the comforts a Labradoodle could hope for… Gourmet meals, attendants, a plush customized mini van, grooming at the finest spas. Yet, I have always felt like I have missed something. Recently, I discovered a loose patch of grass right next to the fence. The sign could have been no clearer. It said to me, “Dig!, Dig!, Dig!… your time to explore the world has come”. That is just what I did.
I have made many friends during my adventures through the neighborhood. I have also learned that there are many out there that will lead you astray. Being a stray is not a bad thing and can happen to the best of dogs. I have quite a few friends that fit into this classification, even. Many dogs are born stray, such as the ones they call coyotes. As my grandfather once told me, Labradoodle translates into “Feared by every single coyote that has ever even come close to us”. With this in mind, I reached out a paw to the yotes and found out that they’re not so bad. We have a lot in common… We all dislike cats and agree that they do taste a lot like chicken. Trust me… after hitching a ride on a banana truck back from Tijuana, I will never ever listen to a cat as long as I live.
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Interestingly, people seem to let their guard down when they think that it’s just us dogs watching. Aside from enduring the occasional really bad rendition of Barbra Streisand, we pick up some pretty interesting information. Gets kind of complicated sometimes. Too much of this, not enough of that, need to change,blah, blah, blah, blah, woof. Believe it or not…. most of the stuff we see and hear as dogs doesn’t change what we have for people that feed us and pet us…. unconditional love.
How has your dog been rewarded today? What bad things have cats done to you? Do you know any sweet young female dogs (censorship!) that are looking for a good time? How does your dog see you and do you really have to dance while you sing the same gosh darn song every single morning?
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Adorable! I have a Labradoodle, named Wylie (means Yeti in Tibetan…named for her big feet). Wylie would LOVE to play with him. I can’t begin to tell you the excitement when she gets together with her Goldendoodle friend, Jack< who lives up the street…in fact, their story will be my post over the weekend for my Living Out Loud entry.
Too cute suzi. Ill let mr Rick C. er, I mean Timothy know he has friends. He can barely read. We r still proud.
Timothy reads just fine when his hair is not in his eyes. Also, hats off to Tim for trying something a little different with the hair. He looked great as a blonde but the darker color screams sophisticated player.
Well written, Dogtor. Your comments have been duely noted and your questions appreciated. Unconditional love is a really good thing. Glad you give it…unconditionally. Hope your people do, too!
Thank you, Ms. Nancy. The Queen is a bit hard to read sometimes on the outside but I can feel the love.
Thank you, Ms. Nancy. The Queen is a bit hard to read on the outside sometimes, but she radiates love and I am quite sure that some of it is intended for me.
I generally don’t like anthropomorphism, but have been guilty of it myself on occasion and found this post utterly charming. Well done, Dr Tim 🙂
Cindy…. Thank you very much and I agree. I once ate an anthropomorphism because I was young, foolish, and listened to a cat. I was sick for days and swear I will never touch another one.
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Cin…. what a great story. Lulubelle… the name sends shivers through my body. An old Labradoodle tale of how a cat did bath things to noble dogs… Oh well… I’m sure it’s just a coincidence….She sounds hot and I’m never opposed to a good time… if ya know what I mean. Take her out for some cat chasing, back to my place, the hot tub……
You have humor writing ability. I try to read Dave Barry and Garrison Keillor to stay in the groove as often as I can. In the alleged afterlife if I can choose only two “people” with whom I could spend eternity it would be my from long, long ago yellow lab and my granddaughter.
wonderful wish-list
Thank you, Carl. I also have a fondness for yellow labs, Dave Barry, Garrison Keillor, and Lassie. Granddaughters… don’t get me started… one look and I’m jumping and slobbering like a puppy!