Self-care tip #203 – Take care of yourself better by knowing what that means.
What is self-care?
Starting with the responsibility of our own persons needs, not necessarily for selfish reasons or self-less reasons – although it may be. Self-care may also be starting with our own selves is not so simply because it is the shortest route to doing anything we want in life. Pick something, anything. Community service. Parenting. Science research. Evangelism. Rock-in-roll. Name it. Self-care gets you there more effectively and efficiently.
Self-care is not alone-care. Self-care is a connecting force between Me and Me, Me and you, Me and all Life and Me and God.
What is self-care?
Insight. Insight to our needs. Insight to our feelings. Insight to our body function. Insight to the needs around us and how we intersect with them. Insight into our behaviors.
Self-care is insight into our own temperaments and pursuing the natural desires, talents, interests of our own design.
Choices. Choices to align ourselves with the constructive/positive efforts of our conscious and subconscious selves. Choices to respond to the insight and own our role implied by the insight. Choices to take care of our body, concretely – eat well, sleep well, exercise, drink water, take our vitamins and medications as prescribed. Choices to Love and be Loved. Choices to connect with others and relinquish the pride that drives our isolation. Choices to be as healthy as possible as a gift to yourself and to those you love.
Self-care is letting go of our history.
Self-care is grabbing responsibility for now and our future.
Self-care is knowing that no one is responsible for how I feel, behave, think or function, except Me.
Question: What is self-care for you? Please tell me your story.
- The Achilles In Us All – To Our Own Demise (friendtoyourself.com)
- Celebrate Insight, Choice, and Hope. Celebrating Can Be Self-Care. (friendtoyourself.com)
- Core Personality Types: You’re stuck with them. (jenniholbrooktalty.wordpress.com)
- Be Aware of Your Feelings and Your Body Function When Getting Friendly With Yourself (friendtoyourself.com)
“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.” Henri Frédéric Amiel
u scholarly type. luv it.
#2 and # 3 I understand. But #1 I don’t get. It seems incongruent with #2 and #3. “Letting go of our history” As I redesign myself in self care I must learned not to be haunted by unpleasantries of my past. Not to let it dominate my present. But letting go? I cannot and should not erase it. I am the product of my past and need to remember my errors and well as successes.I can realize that with effort I am not that same person anymore, however. “Not taking responsibility for it.” Well I’m the one that did it or failed to do it. This reminds me of that famous Homer Simpson line: “It was already like that when I got here.”
oh carl. i refer u to sarah. i knew it when i wrote it that i’d get heat for that. i’m going to work on this folks. thank u for helping me say it better. our narrative.
It IS all about self responsibility. Connections and choices help it fall into place. Excellent post!
“Connections and choices help it fall into place.” thank u suzicate!
…folks, if u haven’t ck’d her site out yet, please do. she and u would resonate on a lot! suzicate gets real.
In other words, self-care is taking responsibility for oneself.
Keep a positive attitude in order to have a healthy mental attitude.
Have physical check-ups and maintain a good diet to stay physically healthy.
Don’t live in the past, enjoy the present.
Most of all … be happy with who you are.
yes maxi. say it.
Self-care is watchfulness for my own health. It is making sure that my body is healthy enough to support my activities. Making sure my activities support my body. Keeping my mind steadfastly set on one goal above all others. Blessings to you…
hello carol! i luv your inference to aligning ourselves w the Force inside of us that is friendly.
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Sometimes self-care is just hanging on by your fingernails knowing that there will be tomorrow.
oh yah!!! good one nance.
I have trouble with letting go of the past. I still feel bad about things I did as a little kid, which is silly. I’m trying to work on things I’m doing now, though. Sometimes I can be grouchy for no reason, so I’m trying to stop that. I do need to work on taking care of my body better. I don’t like exercising or eating healthy. Blegh!
dear silly duck. u r in good company w those of us who suffer w inappropriate guilt and worry. we stand beside u.
I have my editor’s hat on for this comment. (Folks, Sana says she can take the tough love, so here it is).
I was bouncing along happily in this piece until:
“Self-care is letting go of our history. Not taking responsibility for it.
Self-care is grabbing responsibility for now and our future.”
I am not making the connection that I think you want me to make as a reader.
It stands to reason that if self-care means grabbing (excellent word choice there, by the way) responsibility for the present and time to come, then we are indeed responsible for every present moment that has passed—our “history.” So I am struggling with the line about not taking responsibility for our history, in that it seems like you are exhorting us either to take responsibility for our lives…or not. Aren’t we responsible for all the times, perhaps, that we didn’t practice self-care in the past?
Perhaps it is that “responsibility” is not the same thing as “blame” or “guilt.” We can own an action, or series of actions, without catching ourselves in our own guilty nets. In fact, we have to be ready to admit that we weren’t practicing self-care if we ever hope to make a change for the better. We also have to concede that self-care has been in our power all along—like Dorothy’s ruby slippers, which always had the power to take her home. I am not sure we can change, unless we identify that it is (and always has been) our responsibility to seek out the good life the best we know how.
Just some thoughts… I know this piece would be filed under the theme of “definition of self-care”…and your definition is the foundation for your whole body of work. I am poking at this piece in hopes of pushing you…as you recently asked that I do.
So: how can we describe the act of taking responsibility-without-guilt? It is a letting go…you are right. But a letting go of what?
nice hat. yes, “responsibility” is not the same thing as “blame” or “guilt.” i’m not sure i agree though that we have to own our past. the past is part of our narrative and that is part of what makes us uncomfortable when we say things like “responsibility”. in You Are Ink + Water we spent more time on this saying, self-care “does not mean starting over. It means joining all these things. It means being ink in the water, everywhere in your story.” thanks for highlighting this girlfriend. keep sticking it out there! luv it.