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I am writing a series of blog-posts outlining self-care in which we examine the tenets of self-care:
- Introduction to self-care
- self-knowledge
- presence
- moral neutrality (Today’s topic)
- trust
- patient-doctor relationship/connection
Self-Care Tip #263 – Experience, use, observe and interpret emotions, but don’t moralize them.
We sometimes forget about the involved journey to a healthy Me. Because of this, we become fearful that it means alone-care, apart-from-God-care, selfish-care, excluding experienced-and-professional-input-care and so on. It’s not. Self-care is collaborative, yet that doesn’t negate the fact that it must start and end with Me.
When we take care of “Me,” we can connect more with others, including God, have more inside of us to give to others, and have more interest in the world around. The opposite disables our abilities to do those things. No one can give what she doesn’t have.
We have this person, “Me,” to take care of. This “Me” is valuable, of high priority, to be celebrated and cheered on.
Please, shake it off. Self-care is not a moral issue. It just is. It is a choice, a freedom and an opportunity. It is not about salvation and has no influence on our worth. It just is.
We are more willing to buy into the, “It just is,” self-care tool when we understand where emotions and behaviors come from – the brain. This biological stance is the evidence for deescalating our drive to moralize emotions and behaviors. They are not from an aura, a gear we can shift, or any nidus of control outside of our human bodies. Emotions are how we interpret the world around us. They are not linked to morality. Please don’t take them to the pulpit. If you do, I will still be polite, although breathing through a mask.
Emotions are our interpretive lens for our physical self.
Questions: How’s the clarity of your lens holding out after considering this part of self-care? What influence does what you “see” with your emotions have on your ability to befriend yourself? Please tell me your story.
Related articles
- Emotions – The Sixth Sense and Moralizing Self-Care (friendtoyourself.com)
- Is there a role for science in morality? (openparachute.wordpress.com)
- How Religion Contorts Morality: Respected Theologian Defends Genocide and Infanticide (gretachristina.typepad.com)
It’s interesting you should post this today, Doc. I’ve been thinking of morals all morning, albeit not strictly in the context of what you’ve written about here. I came across a blog where the author gave a thinly-veiled threat of suicide. It’s disturbed me on many levels ie I’m concerned but also a little cross, is it selfish of me?
…himming and humming… shifting weight… that question… i am so not in a position to answer that. Emotions and morality cross wires often especially i think w words like “selfish.” i think if you’re looking for altruistic morals, i wouldn’t know where to point except “up.” it’s sort of like saying, work out before we go to the gym…
big hug u sensitive lovely creature. let me know your thoughts. i really did luv your question.
I always have to be careful not to let emotion distort my view…perception is often everything and enotions an very well get in my way if I allow…balance.
Me too SuziCate. Thx for speaking out.
I’m not sure how to react to this post. My self care has always been intertwined with my spiritual life, even when I was too young – or too sick – to understand. However, my spiritual life and my relationship with God is personal, as well as important to my self care, and I don’t think that talking about it makes it “taking it to the pulpit”…at least I would hope it isn’t. I’ve suffered too much with people who take too much to the pulpit. I know that you are not referring to what we have written but knowing that doesn’t make me comfortable about discussions about God and Me. Am I misunderstanding?
Sorry to leave that in confusion nance. The pulpit comment might not b well contexed. I am referring to listening to people preach about emotions n behaviors as if they didn’t know the came from the brain…
Thanks. Rough day. Rough weekend. Rough week ahead. Maybe a bit sensitive but I also misunderstood. Got it now. It’s all good! 🙂
I love “Me just is”. It resonates big time….
i hv no idea what i was replying to in my last comment. just deleted it cuz it made no sense! sorry bout that.
thx friend for letting me know that we r like-minded.
Very nicely put. I learned to call it “it is what it is”. Accepting my realities for what they are; no excuses, just truth. Once I understand what it is, then I can plan how to deal with it…. Hugs. LS
Thx LS. Just truth.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong in caring for ourselves, as long as we don’t focus only on ourselves. What you are saying about emotions and morality reminds me of something I learned not too long ago. I thought that it was always a sin to be angry, but I learned that it isn’t. It depends on what you’re angry about and what you do with that anger. Any emotion is fine if it isn’t for a bad reason and isn’t used to hurt someone.
thinking anger is a sin is something many of us r pursued by. thank u so much for saying this for all our sakes.