Image by plαdys via Flickr
It’s 9:23 PM and our little kids are still awake! They’ve cried. They’ve laughed. We’ve cuddled. We’ve spanked. They’ve taken two showers and brushed their teeth twice. We ate several times.
I was riding my bike, watching a movie, (I love that!), and my daughters were taking turns coming in to complain, wet me with their tears, snuggle, hold me; you get it. My exercise and my movie were peppered with refreshing breaks. Sitting on the couch chair nearby with my five-year old during one of these intermissions, holding her, I was able to say,
It’s okay.
I was able to do this because I was the one in the casita getting pumped up and my husband was the one in the house herding children to bed. He had the tough job that turns me into a turnip and I had this.
You can do it. You can try again. You can try again, even if you are trying for the one-hundredth time. You try and you try and you try again because that’s what makes our lives beautiful. The trying part mostly. Not the arrival.
And that’s when I grabbed her and held on. I suddenly felt so blessed. From this off-night, I was given the reminder that the trying part of life is where it is at.
It’s 9:33 PM and I think they’re asleep. Sigh. Tonight was awesome.
We are flawed people. We try, knowing we will fail. Who does that?! Why would anyone do that to themselves!? Smile. Ah. Sounds wonderful.
Questions: How is your journey? Have you been enjoying your failures lately? Please tell me your story.
Self-Care Tip #273 – Enjoy your failures.
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The cake flopped, no worries, I used it to make a trifle 🙂
oh u. tenacious chef
Good post.
I love the T-Shirt! 🙂
i think it used to b bianca’s
I don’t always know I will fail. Sometimes I have an inkling but proceed anyway. I have not figured it out. Perhaps being in the arena is the end not winning or losing. Most never enter the arena and remain spectators of their own life as it evaporates. Succeeding is self validating. Undeterred by failure possibilities makes me a wisp of Thomas Edison. Whether failing or succeeding I am a winner being in the game.
this was so lovely carl. thank u. i especially loved, “Perhaps being in the arena is the end…. Most never enter the arena and remain spectators of their own life…. Undeterred by failure possibilities makes me a wisp of Thomas Edison.” really dives in deep in and grabs me.
Maybe knowing that we will fail is what makes us so strong. Those who go into Carl’s arena expecting to always win are aften so un-done by failure that they can’t recover or become so weak with worry about failure that they fail and fail again. But that’s not answering your questions. My journey has been full of appliqued butterflies for church banners, three weeks of decorating for the most incredible prom you can imagine (at a school for special needs kids from which five graduated this year. Next year it will be only one and we’ll work just as hard. My husband and I created a carousel with moving horses, among other things.), and, within 12 hours of the prom, flying north to attend my nephew’s wedding. The result was far from failure but it did produce a fully expected fibro flare from which I don’t expect to recover for a few more days (I hope) but that’s the knowing you’ll fail (or your body will!!) that we anticipate and that, with self-care, we learn to deal with. Is it kind of like beating yourself on the head with a hammer? It feels so good when you stop…but you do have to deal with the damage you’ve caused and you know that, deal with it, and pick up the hammer again sooner than later. 🙂
nancy! so good to hear about your recent journey’s. and can i say “ouch!” bummer bout the aches and pains! yay that u feel more connected to others and you r doing what is healthy for your temperament. hope u feel better soon. keep us posted.
I too, like “entering the arena” and even though I go knowing I may fail, I sometimes enter for the benefit of my “opponent”. Experiential learning for my children has almost always been at the expense of my own ego! There is a sweet victory in self sacrifice.
the sweetness of self-sacrifice is a temperament quality and hearing u embrace that is inspiring. others of us don’t feel that or related guilt for not engaging just because we aren’t made to.
thank u for speaking out karen! wonderful to get your thoughts and connect. keep talking.
I do not “enjoy” my failures but am using them as a teaching tool for my children. They are getting older now. They understand more. I can have (almost) adult conversations with one, if not two of them. When I fail them I apologize. I explain no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. It’s what you do about those mistakes that matter – stop, recognize, apologize and learn to improve.
u r such a mom! u r such a woman! this is a very cool algorithm to life. thank u for sharing. keep on!
I don’t like the word fail as it implies failure which is defeatist. Lots of times I try something and have less success than I would like but that is not failing. It is learning, if only learning what doesn’t work or what not to do again.
I don’t think I would try anything if I knew I was going to fail!
fail is heavy w implications isn’t it. i hear what u r saying. who wants to align w that?
From a favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird:
“…I wanted you to see what real courage is…. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win but sometimes you do.”
ATTICUS FINCH (well, really Harper Lee, but Atticus is like a real person to me)
this was so moving! thank u sarah. your mind is a pleasure. go atticus!
Just love this post. Fab take on things.
thank u so much kate. sometimes hearing easy compliments does wonderful complicated changes inside. keep on.
Just like a kid enjoys mom’s kissing the boo boos, I enjoy knowing that the LORD will gather up my pieces and hand them back to me with a hug, after my failures. Blessings to you, Sana…
thank u carol for pointing to God w/o hesitation. u r empowering. i think many of us enjoy this same knowing. Thank u God for using carol. keep talking.
I’ve always known that I will fall in the same hole as I’ve done before. I just keep hoping that next time I see the hole, I will walk around it. Marie.
me too marie! seems like my ankles will never recover ;)!
BTW, I love the pict about the tshirt. I always say that I have a perfect body, it is just underneath everything else. LOL… Marie.
laughing.
I think we are all resolved to be the best we can be. We are all just going around trying to be our best selves. We don’t think we are going to fail to begin with. We are all just becoming more ourselves as we live. Growing into who we are becoming.
that’s nice clar. thank u for speaking with us and speaking out. less lonely w u. keep on.
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