When someone is doing something to turn us into an emotional victim, sometimes it can look like a performance, don’t you think? Someone is yelling, arms swinging about, face animated – and there you are, breathless and emotional.
However, being victimized and being a victim are different things. Being a participant of an interpersonal exchange is different from being an audience to it.
Imagine a stage and you and have been selected from the audience. You climb up and join the performer, let’s call him Ron. Ron is a professional fire and knife dancer. You are standing near Ron and flaming knives seem like they are everywhere. He is quite a dramatic dancer and part of you wants to dance with him. You know you would get hurt badly and yet you have the hardest time resisting the urge to participate. Your wisdom prevails and you remain uninjured. You applaud and walk away.
Later at home, you are still marveling that anyone could move that way and work that hard to evoke such strong emotion from their audience. The emotions replay the dance in your mind almost as if you were still there with Ron.
Do you feel like a victim to Ron? You don’t have to.
When you don’t like what someone is doing or saying to you, imagine that it is a performance of sorts and don’t take it personally. You don’t have to be a victim. You have the power. Be a friend to yourself.
Now, if you can’t do this no matter what, if you feel powerless and unresponsive to your redirections, it may be medical. You might be suffering from any number of illnesses that cause personalization, guilt, fear, reliving experiences and so forth. You shouldn’t suffer like that. You were created to feel pleasure.
Self-Care Tip – Applaud and walk away when someone is victimizing you.
Questions: How do you manage to use your power when you are being victimized? How are you accountable for your feelings and behaviors when people are hurtful? Please tell us your story.
- Victim to Emotions Versus The Friendliness In Accountability (friendtoyourself.com)
- Is Forgiveness Possible When It Involves Child Abuse? (psychologytoday.com)
- Verbal and Emotional Abuse – A Primer – Part One (cindyburrell.wordpress.com)