The older I get, the more reputation I accumulate. I am an old rug.
Have you ever seen a child – their smooth, unblemished skin like marsh-mellows;
their eyes, cupcakes, (my children’s are chocolate);
the way they look at the world open-mouthed swallowing flies;
the way the world looks at them? Both sides hungry.
We say about these kids in contrast to us old property, “They have it all.” They have it all because they just have not been around for very long. They do no have a bunch of mistakes accumulated, crafted and woven into their lives; mistakes that could not be outed.
Children do not have a limited supply of first beginnings. When you have been around a while like us, first beginnings seem like they have changed their constitution. On this side of the freeway, even though we have the freedom to start over at any point in our lives, starting over means something different when you have been around.
It is not a matter of value. Being around does not devalue Me. It does not take away our worth. It does not improve our worth – the Me we speak of. Perhaps it will improve our worth in other ways or lessen it – but it won’t touch Me.
There is nothing like a veteran office staff who knows how to do everything that your office needs. That person is different from somebody out of high school. Better for the position – yes, but not a better Me. There is nothing like having a physician who has practiced for ten or twenty years and seen patients walk out angry, has seen patients die, has seen in action which treatments do what. There is nothing like a physician who has worked with a medication long enough to know the inside of it; that there is good and there are things that happen that are not so good and that when you cannot unravel those things from that therapy, you try to see it together. A more valuable physician for the job, but not a more valuable Me.
The office staff, the physician and the child have reputations. Those who have been around would take up more ink.
Treatments are like that too. The longer they have been around, the more reputation they have. It is like being at a party and you see somebody who has been to all of the parties. Somebody who has been the first to come and the last to leave, who has hurt people and been hurt and who has gossips surround them. When you see that person, you walk in the door and think, “Oh boy!” Or, “Yes! the party girl is here.” But no matter what you think of them, there is something to say about them lasting as long as they have in these circles. There’s a reason they keep getting invited and a reason they weren’t taken off lists.
A treatment that’s been around a really long time, that has gotten a bunch of heat and perhaps even been referred to as “barbaric,” has remained in circulation for reasons worth knowing. If it didn’t offer lasting and unique benefits, if it’s benefits weren’t considered greater than the risks and potential negative outcomes, if people’s lives weren’t improved more than they were damaged – that treatment, like so many others, would have extinguished on their own much earlier in history.
Questions: What do you think when you see the treatment that you have been offered. Has it been around long enough to get a reputation. Or is it the new kid, the new child with velvet for skin? Their eyes have not woven in shards of particled light that tangled the loom perhaps? You with reputations, who are older than this and still around, tell us your story.
Self-Care Tip: When considering treatments, consider their age as you consider their reputation. Be a friend to yourself.
Related articles
- Reinventing Physicians: TED Talk (scienceroll.com)
- Digital Domain: On HealthTap, Advice for You and Points for Doctors (nytimes.com)
- Doctors Aim To Dispel Myths About Vaccines (medicalnewstoday.com)
- Testing remedies and trying arguments – pseudoscience vs FSM (sansscience.wordpress.com)
- New Guidelines: Diagnose Kids for ADHD at Age 4 (webmd.com)
- The danger of assumptions in medicine (medrants.com)
I guess, since I’ve “been around” for almost 71 years, I can answer this with some knowledge, especially since I was put on my first psychotropic drug when I was 30 and have been on and off them ever since – at one time for 16 years non-stop. I’ve been given medications with long, long “reputations” and I’ve been given medications that had just come out and had very little “reputation”. What I have learned, though, as I have lived through the horrific reactions and really good results over the years, is that I am no longer concerned about the “reputation” of the medication; I’m concerned about the “reputation” of the physician administering the medication, and I’m not speaking of the age of the physician; I’m speaking of the ability of the physician to understand the drug, the patient and the patient’s medical as well as psychological background. I have been administered old and new medications by old and young physicians. The age of either the drug or the doctor didn’t matter. How much the doctor knew about how and why and when and what to give me has made the difference, for me, between horror and health over my many years. I have found that to find the right doctor for Me has been the only way to find the right medication for Me.
All of the above being said, I am, right now, reacting to some medication that I’m on (not sure what), I frequently wonder whether it’s all worth it. Is the reaction worth the relief from what is causing the initial suffering? I can’t believe I’m the only one who wonders…or reacts so severely to pretty much anything. Anyone?
wondering if it is all worth it is suspiciously close to wondering if Me is… and u have a grasp on that like none other. i’m not worried. 🙂 keep on.
their eyes, innocent cupcakes – not much of that in Miami. They know the concepts of drive-by, crack, criminal justice system. “tro” and “po po’s” (policemen) by 5 years old.
somehow carl, u makes comments that stalk me a bit. how do u lace them so well?
This post is delightfully written but also has given some interesting perspectives on medications-old vs new, tried vs untested, risk vs response. Someone close to me is on some scary meds and is struggling about what to do, so this post is relevant for me.
thank u iris. what are your thoughts about your friends meds? keep on.
You asked what are my thoughts on my “friend’s” meds. This person is just too close to me for me to be at all objective. I see that the meds averted a crisis but am terrified of the possible longterm effects and would like to see other approaches seriously looked at by the treating physician and not dismissed.
Keep talking about it. We hear u.
Sana, your story using an old rug as reference was striking! I like to think of myself as an old quilt! Oh, some of the newer ones are beautiful – so vibrant! But a bit stiff, even after being washed and dried. My older one may be well worn, but so soft after being so well loved after all these years! I would rather cozy up with a well worn, soft old quilt, that hugs me in all the right places. But being so well loved may require that my quilt need a new patch now and then. That new patch will be a different hue, but will make my quilt stronger, able to be loved for many more years! Adding a little new to the tried and true can’t hurt! I could go on, but I know you get the idea…♥
After years of being on even a low dosage of some of those “scary meds”, God joined me to a common acquaintance of yours some months back. Although she is new to me, she is not a new Dr. And her inventive solution has helped me begin on a new path, that no longer includes those “scary meds”! A welcome new patch to make my quilt stronger!
Blessings!
tammy, so cool. thanks for your blurb of familiar hx/foreshadowing to so many of us. we need your voice. keep on.
This speaks to me in ways I cannot describe. I need to bookmark it and refer to it often.
I’ve been lurking and occasionally commenting for awhile now. This was such an incredibly moving piece. I don’t know why but it is good.
u r that lurker i’ve been glimpsing shadows of! 🙂 thanks cathy for your comment and speaking out. any ideas after this space of t as to what resonated w u and why? hugs
Not only is the post wonderful but the responses have been terrific. Don’t you think so?!
i do, iris. i do too. say it, friend.
From one old rug to another, I loved this post. I did not chose my therapy, it stumbled into my path. CBT has a pedigree, and what a gift it has been for me.
way! kate. keep on.
I like the general lessons you give in this post that can be transferred to other areas of life.
thank u paul :). where did these ideas connect to? dying to know.
This was a well-written post. I didn’t really think of things the way you wrote in your post. When considering treatment, it would be safer to consider something that has been tested for a long time and proven to be good. Like you said, there’s a reason why certain things have been around a long time. Though, if I keep up with my plan to be healthy and invincible forever through sheer willpower, I don’t really need to think about that stuff. Ducks are known for their unbreakable wills.
unbreakable bills or will – (big smile)
thank u duck for your comment. that “bill” reply was all i had t for at the time and it couldn’t wait :).
your thoughts r so real and deep and i luv where they take us and how u connect. keep talking. u have the will and bill after all.