Question: What are the real reasons you chose to be a friend to yourself in the first place?
Self-Care Tip: Remember why.
Friend to Yourself
A tip every post on being a Friend to Yourself!
Question: What are the real reasons you chose to be a friend to yourself in the first place?
Self-Care Tip: Remember why.
I chose to be a friend to myself because I had been suffering for sixteen years and allowing everyone else to help me. I never thought to care for myself. I thought I was too hopeless to be anything but helpless. Then I met a Friendtoyourself angel at the zoo two years ago and found out that I not only COULD be a friend to myself, I HAD to be a friend to myself in order to start a healing process that should have been started fifty years or more before. Being a friend to myself has made all the difference…ALL the difference!!!…in what will be the rest of my life.
i hear the regret and grief for the t you didn’t see yourself as a your friend. so many of us are in similar situations. what do you say to us?
When I finally “woke-up” after half my life of marriage to a narcissist (that was a clinical diagnosis of a professional not my assessment), I realized that I loved everyone in my life except myself. I felt lonely, unhappy, alone, and scared that no one would ever truly be my friend unless there was no chance they would meet my ex-husband (everyone seemed to “love” him and he’d remind me of that constantly.)
Now that I love (and like!) myself, I am truly happy! I have removed the toxic relationships from my life, chosen new friends, and am enjoying a great relationship with the “Royal We” (Me, myself and I) for the first time in my life.
Life is good!
Carol
http://caroldekkers.wordpress.com
the Royal We. big smile. thank u carol for this part of your story. many of us can understand seeing ourselves this way, distorted and misrepresented. keep on.
I had worked in the human services field working directly with clients. I had not realized that I had invested so much into my job, church involvement, and involvement with other people, I was slowly forgetting about myself. I was also going to school part time to obtain my MSW, and involved myself in classes, and involvement there. I had also been an international student mentor. I was not taking care of me till I got to a point where I had a total break down and ended up in the emergency room and the hospital. Since then I have been on a learning process, and implementing ways to be able to be a friend to myself, and realize that if I do not take care of me, then I am not worth anything to my employer, and my extra involvement. I am glad that I am having an opportunity to learn these lessons in my 30’s. Ta Ta For Now 🙂
Heidi
“if I do not take care of me, then I am not worth anything to my employer, and my extra involvement.” better than music. keep on.
I think I became a friend to myself when I realized that though I felt unlovable I was really just empty. The emptiness was a hunger to connect and the hunger needed to be fed and satisfied before I had anything to give to others. I had to nourish myself before I could truly love another.
sometimes the hunger to connect is stronger than spawning salmons! 🙂 no implications other than compulsion that inner energy of gene soup and onions to feel the coveted pressure reciprocate into Me. thanks patricia. keep on.
I became a friend to myself when I found my passion a few years back to advocate for the voiceless !
yes! thank u irish. how did advocating for the voiceless improve your friendship w yourself? keep talking.
I can think of more than one readon. If we want to enjoy our journey through life, or at least be useful to ourselves and others, we must be healthy and positive. The Bible says we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. It’s not natural to dislike oneself. When I get mad at myself, I get mad at everyone else and at God. That’s not right, is it? When that happens, I need to fix it fast! Forgive my human little self and carry on with a smile. Blessings to you, Sana…
this rocked me carol ann. thank u. takes a lot of humility to start w Me. keep on.
Answer: Because I am a better friend to others when I am my own friend first.
ball cracks off of bat. thanks for speaking w us suzicate. keep on.
Because the right traveling companion can make any experience good. Even if everything goes wrong and people are jerks and there are bed bugs…if you have the right friend along, it’s all right, you can laugh and then reminisce later. And If I’m one of those friends to myself, then I’ll always have that friend with me.
you’ll wake up w yourself on any and every morning. thanks holly. this makes sense to me too. keep on.
It’s often hard to remember why we do things. In all honesty, when I read this question, I really had to think about. After much thought, I realized that the bottom line is “because I am important.” I have spent most of my life, at least as long as I can remember, trying to make others happy. In doing this, it was easy to lose sight if me. Recently, however, I learned that being a friend to myself is actually more important than trying to please those around me. I have always been my worst critic. Realizing that I need to let go of the self criticism and guilt that come with always trying to please others is extremely freeing. In doing things for myself, I feel pleasure. More than I have in years. Perhaps now it’s because I’m doing these things because I want to rather than out of feeling as if “I have to.”
“I learned that being a friend to myself is actually more important than trying to please those around me.”
…follows fist pumping
It’s a journey to be a friend to myself. I’ve realized that if I don’t surround myself with positive people to validate that then when the tough times come and I have only myself to depend on then the well goes dry. I need to keep my glass half full and fuller to maintain that core self of well being. Thanks for asking the question.
you’re welcome patty. it’s reassuring to hear your voice and the resonance in me and i know in others. i’m glad u speak. keep on
I guess I chose to be a friend to myself because I got tired of worrying all the time and making myself sick. I also got tired of ruining the good times by worrying about bad things. Plus, I see in a lot of pictures of my ducklinghood, we visited different places, and I usually looked like I was in a bad mood. I wished I had just enjoyed the different places we went.
way.
amazing to me still that u became aware of your accountability to these emotions and behaviors, experiences to self and others and how your empowerment grew. can u tell us about that at all?
Hmm, I guess I noticed this stuff when I would worry about a small thing, and then something worse would happen. Once things are worse, I found that little things didn’t seem that bad after all. Now that the big problems made my life less enjoyable, I wished so much to go back to the way things were, even if the little problems were still there. I learned that if things aren’t that bad, I need to be happy while it lasts. Just like when I was on those trips with my parents. I didn’t want to be there, but we did see some neat places, so I should at least make the most of it. We play a big part in choosing our attitude, and when things are bad, I regret worrying when things were good. And now that I won’t likely return to those places, I regret not enjoying being there while it lasted. So I guess that’s how I got myself to be more accountable for my bad attitude.