Honking my horn

….check it out ( yay! smiling!) Sleep Well: A “Friend to Yourself” Resource by Sana Johnson-Quijada MD (Author) In a culture that demands our time, our attention, and our energy 24-7, sleep has gotten a bad reputation. A full night of rest can feel like a weakness, an indulgence, something selfish. But sleep, says Dr. Sana Johnson-Quijada, […]

Adequate – Step Away From The Ledge

Repost. How does one fight feelings of inadequacy? With Truth I barricade against my lies that I am not enough.  Of course I am adequate; and I fight to know that in more dimensions than just cognitively.  After all, facts change if you don’t believe them. Take parenting for example.  Wow!  Sometimes I think that […]

The Struggle in A Doctor-Patient Relationship To Not Get Personal

In a patient doctor relationship, one of the realities is that our roles limit us from personal relationships.  Do things get personal?  I suppose inevitably as long as we are both human they will.  But we do our best to stay professional and use the standard of practice and the guidelines presented by our profession’s […]

Do You Believe In God?

Yesterday, sitting with all the intellectuals, the thinkers and the brains, my “Big Fat F” felt like I was dressed wrong more than once.  However, thanks to you guys and what we’ve done together, I was able to recognize it and make it through without sautéing the shame of being who I am wired to […]

Use What You Know – It Will Help You Know Yourself Better And Be a Guide For Your Future Efforts

Some of the best encouragement I got was from my sister-in-law who writes, CretingBrains.com. She said, Sana, you know a lot! When you start writing, you’ll see. It will come to you. You won’t believe how much you have to say. Now when I get stuck, when no words come, I remember this, the panic […]

What Must I Do To Be Happy?

Today, I can’t get my thoughts away from the frolic in temperament-land. Teacher, what must I do to be happy?  Who hasn’t asked this?  I remember Nicodemus who asked Jesus, Teacher, what must I do to be saved?  I bet he was wondering, too, about happiness. I’m not equating happiness with salvation or morality.  I […]

Misrepresentation Of Self-Care Will Inevitably Be Part of Our Truth

Self-Care Tip #239 – Let the misrepresentation be. In our efforts here at FriendtoYourself.com, we try through our limited selves, our flawed selves, our biased selves to understand self-care as well as we can.  Never-the-less, the process of the ongoing mix-and-separate leaves us ever aware that our work is unfinished. When I say, “It’s biological,” […]

Choosing Connections – Take The Good and Take Care of Yourself

Self-Care Tip#228 – If we choose to have someone in our lives, if we choose that it is better for us than not, than take what is good and leave the rest. We’ve all seen them, or been them at some point through life.  Those walk-outs.  Either choice, leave or stay, takes immense courage to […]

Take Care of Yourself Better by Knowing What That Means.

Self-care tip #203 – Take care of yourself better by knowing what that means. What is self-care? Starting with the responsibility of our own persons needs, not necessarily for selfish reasons or self-less reasons – although it may be.  Self-care may also be starting with our own selves is not so simply because it is […]

Hear, Be Heard, Believe and Speak In Your Language.

Self-Care Tip #187 – Say it better by saying it in your voice.  Be a friend to yourself. We all have our own language.  I’m not talking about Hungarian or Spanish.  I’m roughly talking about Jungian typology.  We speak and hear, we are heard and we find that we believe better with it.  But we […]

Receive When a Gift is Offered

Self-Care Tip#149 – Receive when a gift is offered.  Be a friend to yourself. I am totally charmed.  Sitting in the coffee-shop, and this lovely man came up and handed me his James Patterson book.  “I’m going to throw it away and thought you might like to read it.  I’m done and it was great.” […]

Don’t Waste Your Time. Do Your Thing.

Self-Care Tip #101 – Don’t waste your time if you don’t have to on things you aren’t good at. Ben is almost 16 years old.  His parents are happy because he’s not as depressed, more interactive and more interested in connecting with others.  They came with him to see me.  Ben gets easily overwhelmed trying […]

Why Are You Walking The Road Alone?

Part of humility is not isolating.  You have to be able to receive to be a friend.  Dan Allender Ph.D. calls it suffer the kindness. From looking at him, I didn’t guess at first that Fink was lonely, but he was.  Under-appreciated, whenever Fink thought about making new friends, he remembered that he wasn’t young […]

Between Me and Thee, Don’t Believe it

He felt blamed by his daughter.  It is one thing to perceive it.  Believing what we perceive might be separate. There is a disease process named obsessive compulsive disorder.  In this illness, we perceive things that at some level we understand are not likely nor true. These fears are called “egodystonic,” when we can tell […]

There is Room In Our Wanting Selves

Having another child born, our hearts somehow open up and make more love, more space where things once seemed crowed up like hobos in a boxcar.  Our time and energy does that too.  Feeling like you can’t do another thing by 6 PM?  Feeling like watching TV on the couch is an accomplishment at that […]

New Verses New

She died this morning.  After a day and a night of confusion, stumbling gate, and suffering, our gentle gorgeous Maggie died.  She is returning to carbon ash and giving us another reminder of what can be delivered to the living by death. With the children taken to school, my husband came home to share grief […]

Do What You Were Designed to Do

Nike made it popular.  But did we ever take it and run with it?  “Just do it!”  My girlfriend and I were having lunch together and the topic about our life’s profession came up.  She is bored in her work and would like to get into something more creative and artistic.  In an ideal world, […]

Get to Know Yourself to Be A Friend to Yourself.

Let us put our efforts toward becoming who we can become, who we were wired to be, who we want to be, what gives us pleasure. We can get beaten up by wanting.  Wanting to be someone who gets energy from being with people rather than from being alone.  Wanting to be someone who is […]