Hello wonderful readers. I’ve been getting some heat re: straying from my original premise of in fact being a “Friend to Yourself” from a biopsychosocial standpoint, and what does “Me” mean? I’ll just review a bit. Let me know what you think, and where I need to flush things out more.

Being a friend to yourself is more than getting a manicure every now and then, or taking the time to go shopping or watch movies, or doing what seems “fun.” In fact, being a friend to yourself often means not doing what you want to do.

That is because being a friend to yourself means taking accountability for yourself—your own happiness, your own health, your own spirituality, and your own connections to the outside world. It means acknowledging that “everything starts and ends with Me.” It means acknowledging that you are not a victim, even though you may have been victimized, hurt, misused, or forgotten.

However, responsibility doesn’t equal blame! Being victimized and being responsible can coexist. “Me” is where care happens.

We know that cash doesn’t just magically appear in our wallets unless we do something to put it there. So why do we keep waiting for our personal assets to replenish themselves? Imagine this person’s personal wallet is empty, and everyone around them is suffering the consequences. This person is so burnt out at their job that they are getting written up and in danger of getting fired. They go home and isolate in their room and never exercise. Fast food wrappers litter the floors. They never really talk to their friends or kids.

For most of us, learning to be friends to ourselves is the hardest work we ever do—and also the most important.

It’s up to us to each fill our own wallets by taking care of ourselves and taking responsibility for our own assets. That’s tangible bank. That’s what being a friend to yourself is all about.

You cannot give what you do not have.

Being a friend to yourself means caring for your body as well as your soul, and understanding that meeting—or ignoring—basic physical needs can lead to complex outcomes.

When we make ourselves a priority, we may appear to give less, but we actually have more for those we love. Just like any bank, we must deposit more than we withdraw if we’re going to protect our basic assets. And our bodies are the most important, irreplaceable assets that we’ve been given.

The choice of how to spend our assets is our own. We are free to choose self-care, or not. But when we choose to be friends to ourselves, we don’t need a mother, a police officer, or the government to strong-arm us to do what’s best, because we want, at least at an intellectual level, to take care of ourselves.

You are a complex person with many intersecting paradigms, including your general physical health and biology, genetic predispositions, coping skills, what you do to your body, what is done to your body (such as physical trauma), emotional triggers, and spirituality.

And that is the ‘Me’ I am talking about.

Self-care is not about doing what you want otherwise. It is about giving yourself what you need.

Self-care tip:
Start with one non-negotiable need your body or mind has today, and meet it before giving your energy away.

Question to reader:
What is one need your “Me” has been asking for that you’ve been ignoring?

Please Speak! Everyone needs to hear you. Keep on!