Words Like: Distended abdomen! and Connection

distended abdomen

A friend of mine told me the other day,

Mentally I went to a bad place during exercise on Tuesday. Like “I’m so slow, I want to go home, the other girls probably think bad things about me”. In my head space now I see those thoughts as ridiculous. But it was tough to get through.

Excuse me but she is brilliant.  She speaks for millions.

So many times we think about the rough out there.  The words that slow our swing down, that are not said right, that somehow take away points from our identity.  We are not a two-dimensional scorecard.  Speaking up does not qualify us.  Good or bad.  Speaking up does not change our value.

I loved her voice.  I am thinking she should start up her own blog.  If she can be this transparent on a blog, she is a needed voice.

If I could fantasize a little, (Now! Now!  Stop that,) I would have her and you go back to our own, here at friendtoyourself.com, and start methodically answering each self-care question, post by post, in your own authentic way.  And just you see what a stroke speaking up makes.  Just see what it does for you inside and out.  Just see what it does for others. …Me for example.  See?  I am affected by you.

As for my transparency, in brief, …I did not survive halloween.  I ate like a motor.  Chocolate.  Chocolate and more chocolate.

Otherwise.  I think this greens-and-beans-effort I am doing has been ok.  I am eating a lot of plants.  Trying to keep the simple carbs low.  Not always the fact but the goal.  I do still eat in volume which I will see if it makes a difference or not when it is this type of volume.  All that fiber is making a difference to my gut though!  my abdomen is distended!  TMI.

A couple posts ago we shared Jessica’s, “Do This.”  My question is, what is yours? What is your, “Do This?”  Please do not make me use any more golf analogies, but where are your …words?  Your words are important for you.  They bring friendship to you from you.  They bring you to connection, community, clarity of thought, and as said in a post long ago:

“And if we stop speaking, we will lose.  If we do not respect the opportunity to connect, if we do not treat it as the treasure that it is, not only will the world miss out on the ‘Me,’ we miss out on the world at large.  It goes both ways.

We have a choice.  Get friendly with yourself.  Speak.  Listen.  Connect.

Self-Care Tip – Stay connected for your sake and for theirs.”

Question:  What has speaking up done for your friendship with yourself?  How are your words kinder said than not? Please tell your story.

11 thoughts on “Words Like: Distended abdomen! and Connection

  1. I am ashamed of the times I did not dare to speak up especially against both the insanity and the lash wielded
    by the administrators. They succeeded in keeping us in fear to just keep our jobs let alone crusade.

  2. Oh, do I wish I could respond every day to this blog site. It helped me so much when it first started. I actually gave up going to therapy thanks to this site. It was my every-day-go-to-and-keep-me-sane site. I didn’t know how I’d ever live without it. But then I had to (and I understand, of course) and I learned – because of this when it was a daily blog – that I could take care of myself from what I learned about myself or knew about myself. However, the farther apart the blogs came the less I took the time to answer them. I think I finally just didn’t care, anymore, unfortunately, because I am back to not in a good place at all…again. It’s been a horrible several months or more of pain – emotional and physical – and I don’t seem to have the strength to even speak up here. I’ve asked to be on the prayer list at church and that’s a huge step for me but, other than that, sleep is my escape. And, no, art hasn’t been because it’s too painful to work with my hands and that just makes the depression worse. It’s not a good thing and I know it. I just don’t know how to be a friend to myself anymore…or maybe I just don’t have the energy. I wish………………

    • And, Sana, you don’t have to post this but blogging when you’re hurting and getting no response after five days is pretty much why I’ve lost interest. I love you and what you were doing. I wish you the very best in wherever you are going with this. I just can’t come back to my computer every day to find that noone cares. Hurting too much to hurt more.

  3. Self? Try to appreciate the worthwhile good stuff one does (it’s easy to just pocket it and focus only on what still needs to be done).

    Speaking up? It doesn’t always go well – let’s be honest. But leaving aside the injustice being confronted or the person being comforted at the time, the delayed personal reward may be the ability to look back on it and think – yes, that was the right thing to do. A little bit along the lines of that World War recruiting poster: “What did you do in the war, daddy?” You may have to endure a long delay getting to that point though – especially if the prevailing opinion is currently against you.
    I think of voices in the wilderness against sexual abuse of children by clergy – unpopular, villified, ostracised whistleblowers back then. But now, they at least can know they were not complicit. Small comfort perhaps, I know. But worth something.

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