Care-Giver is a name that many of us own. From basic parenting scenarios to families complicated with end-of-life, spinal cord injuries, congenital diseases or employees of group homes – care-givers is the generically applied
Is it difficult to ID care-givers that “did it right.” Seeing them is a muscle that operates better by practicing the magical and material skills of empathy.
By the way, I’m on hold right now with the service provider for our currently nonfunctioning internet. The hold-music is so bad that I had to put the phone in a closed drawer to muffle it. #selfcare. Much better.
There are many people who have cared for me and do care for me. You for starters have cared for and do care for me in your reading, your time, your thoughts and comments. I am cared for, and you know I get all fluttery when I start talking about you so I’ll stop before you throw-up. Unless it’s too late.
There are others who gave and give care, obvious names like parents, spouse and friends. And there are many less obvious names – my dogs talking to me when I get home, the lady who came up to me in the 99-cent store and handed me $20.00 to buy treats for my kids, my psychotherapist who told me to “grow up.” All these and more have and do care for me.
But do we call these people, (or other living creatures,) care-givers? Is that a name for what you do for me? Not in my thoughts.
The differences are found between those who believe they take care of others when they don’t take care of themselves and the inverse – those who take care of themselves, and as part of that effort to be their own friend see caring for others as a natural maturation of their own needs. In any other design, taking care of others when we don’t take care of ourselves is not sustainable nor congruent with our intentions. We become the hare who lost the race to the turtle, angry and confused by our results.
I agree that this attempt to share space with the angels who so lovingly nurture and give to those who can’t give to themselves can be perceived as arrogant, ignorant and other names – creep, idiota, a– h—, pompous, fools, bigots, oblivious, uninformed, (this is fun), benighted, blind, old gum under the picnic table jerks.
Be that as it may, please believe that we speak of care-givers without malice. And if we are ignorant, please let our flaws inspire you to grow us as empathically as you would like us to grow you. I know it takes a lot of love to deal with someone like us and it is much easier to walk away.
Questions: Where do you find yourself in the care you give to others? What helps you remember your intentions to love yourself when stigma or guilt bang you upside the head? How do you see that caring for yourself is consistent with your goals to serve others? Please tell us your story.
Self-Care Tip – Care for yourself and you will see yourself giving care to others.
- Shortage of caregivers ‘a major cause of concern': report (canada.com)
- November – National Care Givers Month (thepurplejacket.wordpress.com)
- Life is the giver and the witness of my worth (julienmatei.wordpress.com)
- Givers & Takers: A Retrospective of Sorts (dayofanewdawn.wordpress.com)
- The Selfish Giver. Can That Happen? (hizz247.wordpress.com)
- What is caregiver stress (lifefoneblog.com)
- Happy National APPRECIATE THIS Month, Part 1 (psychologytoday.com)
- A Message From “Rank and File, RN” (emergiblog.com)
- No Regrets (Fingers Crossed) (caregiving.com)
- Family Caregiving Needs Likely to Soar (money.usnews.com)
- Online Resource for Caregivers (lawprofessors.typepad.com)
- Healthcare – Caregiver Awareness (healinginhealthcare.wordpress.com)
- Benefits of Hiring a Caregiver for Elderly (mamoonkay.wordpress.com)
- Caregiving can be rewarding (lifefoneblog.com)
- 5 Interesting facts about Caregivers and Caregiving… (diamondnannies.wordpress.com)
- Anoka Family Caregiver Connection Appreciation Day Nov. 19th (alzheimersspeaks.wordpress.com)
- Can You Handle Dating While Caregiving? (lifefoneblog.com)
- Did you come with a manufacturer’s warranty? (corepositive.wordpress.com)