Self-Care Tip #89 – Practice being real. Exercise it! Be a friend to yourself.
Sara Stein MD and author of Obese From the Heart, wrote
There’s nothing romantic or mysterious about advanced age. It’s painful and difficult for everyone, but there are good moments.
I like that. We could say it about a lot of other things too. Just today in clinic for starters, Mary said she’s falling asleep during the day, but is doing less self-injury since starting topiramate. Max has gained about 20 pounds but he is over his Staphylococcus infection and he’s sleep through the night. Marge is crying because there is no cure for her son’s illness, but he can still be treated medically and protected against further disease progression.
Any time someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m in a paradox. It’s the drive I struggle with to express emotions purely and completely that can be my own Rocky (Dir: John G.Avildsen, 1977) experience or it can kick me in the back-side. Doing what Dr. Stein so eloquently did isn’t as easy as it looks.
“Fine,” I say. “Things are wonderful. Thanks for asking.” (Snore.)
Or, (trip,) “I’m tired and parenting is difficult, and as much as I talk about it, I can’t seem to figure out how to take care of myself. But I’m also really good and haven’t been this happy in a long time.” (Panting holding my sides.)
Being real without boring or tiring yourself out might take some practice.
The “real-thing,” blogger Film Fan wrote
Philadelphia Museum of Art, Benjamin Franklin Parkway, 26th Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA. The most famous location in Rocky is probably the stairs he jogs up during the ’Gonna Fly Now’ training montage. The good news is that you can re-enact the scene and jog up and down them, the bad news is that there are 68 steps… That’s quite a few if you’re jogging.
If you ever want to get bored quick, try to be happy. Try it. Try to be good. Try to ignore the monotony. If you want to be bored, draw your house with a window and a door and a sun shining in the corner. It’s no good for boredom when you draw in the shadows and colors. But doing that well might not be natural for everyone. We might need to get into a training program, like Rocky Balboa before we can be in the presence of the bad and the good of our lives without loosing our breath.
It may take practice to be real, but you will be less bored if you do.
Question: How do you find being real with the good and bad of your life affects you? Please tell me your story.
After having made some good changes years ago, the bad lately wants some kind of accounting without crediting the good. It demands to examine, to know its cause, and what went wrong. It relives situations causing stress and embarrassment to me. The situations can be yesterday or 50 years ago. Just negative moments viewed in my mind. It is like older age wants to alter the equation and get another answer. I have much hope that finding a way to let the real of the good in will accelerate. I know you have said before it may be organic or otherwise and the answer is to take action.
Richard, thanks for commenting. You word words well. (say that 10 times as fast as you can.) I liked, “older age wants to alter the equation and get another answer.” Twisted. Blessings on taking action. You’ve got courage my man! Keep on.
Interesting as well, what we consider “bad” today might be seen as “character” or “experience” tomorrow …
Thank you Thys le Roux for reading and commenting as always. Perspective.