Number three on Bella’s List:
Farmer Brown hired help to get his crop in. Half way through the job, he realized he needed more help, so he got some. This happened at least 3 times before the job was finished. Come paying time, Farmer Brown gave everyone the same, $100. “What’s going on here!?” the people who worked the longest complained. “We should get paid more!”
Farmer Brown, …well you probably know that this is my version of the story from Matthew 20:1-16. The Farmer gave them more than money. But what did he give?
What are we getting for what we do? Intuitively we probably think, like the hired farm-hands, and like my patient Bella, that we aren’t getting what we should at times.
“The day has been ruined!” Bella said. Her eyes sparkled and flashed as she spoke of her injury. Bella was not so pleased with her labor’s reward.
The real point of our stories here – the hired farm-hands, Bella’s, and our own story – is figuring out the reference point of why we do things. Everyone makes their reference point in their own way. Find your reference point. Just find it. You’ll get more for your dollar, so to speak.
You might remember from some earlier posts, about doing what is congruent with our hard-wiring, i.e. our temperament. This gives us more joy in our work, we are better at what we do, we feel less self-pity, and an energy generated simply by our own natural interest drives our efforts. As a believer in biology, I’d list temperament not as a reference point, but as an influence of how we search for and how we define our reference point.
Finding our reference point is not impossible if we don’t do what comes natural to us. Finding our reference point is impossible though if we aren’t looking.
After searching in my special way for why I do what I do in life, I found God. Is that true? Just ‘cuz I said God is my reference point, doesn’t make it true.
Self-Care Tip #95 – Find your reference point. Be a friend to yourself.
Question: Have you actively, purposefully used your biology (like a hoe in the field) to find why you do what you do? Is it helpful? What have you found? Please tell me your story.
Interesting post as it fits in quite perfectly with my day. In fact, I was watching my favorite show earlier (Six feet Under) and the question was asked “Why are you an Artist?” to one of the characters.
It got me thinking, as did your post. I’m still coming out of the fog of doing anything for survival-as-a-habit. As in, being in panicked survival mode even when all is calm and safe–that is no way to live, any dog knows better than to live like that.
For some people it is a process just to ask “why am I doing this?” … AND actually ask that question to themselves. (man-o-man the times I have asked everyone else why I was doing something) Maybe it will take sometime for an answer to come, but asking means we are on our way!