With Truth I barricade against my lies that I am not enough. Of course I am adequate; and I fight to know that in more dimensions than just cognitively. After all, facts change if you don’t believe them.
Take parenting for example. Wow! Sometimes I think that strangers would do better. That the very parts of my soul those children hold would be better off with more distance from their home in my heart. Am I inadequate to be a mother? No, but some days I have to beg not to believe the lie.
In these moments of calamitous thinking, I am reminded of the term “all-or-none” thinking. I am reminded that feelings of inadequacy drink from them like fat mosquitoes. Catastrophizing is an egotistical view and nothing could ever be that bad or that good. Not Me. Not anyone.
Fighting feelings of inadequacy means being a friend enough to yourself to say, step away from the ledge. To say,
you aren’t so special that you could be that terrible.
To fight right, you have to slide away from all bad into some of the gray area, and stop before getting to all good. Because believing you are all of anything is just arrogant.
There are temperaments that do better in gray zones than others, those who feel comfortable grazing between thoughts and situations of life. There are others, however, also. People who almost seem wired to self destruct; whose own genetics thrash them towards polarity. Those people are tortured, familiar with the often lonely fight I speak of.
To fight feelings of inadequacy, perhaps you fight your own design. Hopeless? Well no. That is an extreme word and not to be trusted. Remember at some level, that the truth is in the gray.
Self Care Tip #4: Move away from the edge. Be a friend to yourself.