Imagine If You Were Your Own Friend, And Take Your Advice

Postcard - Sexy Woman writing a letter

Image by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) via Flickr

Self-Care Tip #234 – Imagine if you were your own friend, and take your advice.

Joana Johnson, author of, full-time mom of six, part-time University history teacher, student, wife, confidant, friend and sister-in-law… (no she’s not running for president) …Joana asked me today,

Write a letter to someone you love sharing what you want them to do to take better care of themselves.  You don’t have to give it to them or you can.

Now imagine what letter with what self-care requests would someone who loved you write to you?

…You’re right.  I’m going to have to talk her into running for president.

And so, I offer this challenge to you.  I wonder after you.  I am sitting in waiting.  Please tell us this part or more of your story.

28 thoughts on “Imagine If You Were Your Own Friend, And Take Your Advice

    • i remember this letter u wrote. it was awesome. perhaps joana had read it too? she said some things that now sound strangely familiar to what you wrote… hmm. maybe u should both run for presidents in your respective countries… YES!


  1. Since we have no control over what others may or may not do an effort to suggest what we want others to be like will be disappointing and would be unappreciated by others. Who are you? My manager? We can praise to affirm positive behaviors and we can model behaviors hoping some rubs off. But to appoint ones self a parent or coach is met with resentment. Ah, but writing a letter to oneself is a productive way to remind ourselves to retain or modify our own behavior. Little postems at my desk, the bathroom mirror or the bed stand table are another form of writing letters to oneself and they are ever present reminders “I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter…”


    • Carl, u had me going there w the cautionary dialogue and I was agreeing w u and then just as easily u did some word play and w as much eloquence, made women all over America wish they were a piece of your, well, furniture at least.


  2. Dear Me,

    Love yourself as much as others say they love you. Respect yourself as much as others say they respect you. Believe in yourself as much as others say they believe in you. Have as much confidence in yourself as others say they have in you. Know that you really are the person your granddaughter thinks you are.

    Love, Me

    p.s. Never forget you can always up your meds a bit when things get overwhelming!!!


  3. now if i were to write a letter to me with self care as the subject i would write dear kevin the world is a lovely place the birds do sing the grass does grow and the sun does shine you just have to go out the door to see this people are not quite as evill as you see them and there are good people in life we all struggle so its not just you and sometimes when things are really bad talk about them insted of acting on them why punish your self for the bad that has been done to you you will never get any where doing that concentrait more on seeing what life has for you rather than looking at your past and analyzeing every thing and person and every system insted of trying to patch a sinking ship try to flot a new one starting again really is not failure its just you trying to do things better your way also try not just seeing the world form your eyes try seeing it form maybee louiee armstrong cant see but he enjoys life life isnt just about your self but it helps starting with you and finishing with you and that is why i wrote a letter to myself if just sometimes i could take my own advice i would do well


    on a separete note america has been put off yer i could actualy get there but the lass is doing her finals so insted of just thinking of myself for a change i thought of her first i would never like someone to fail uni becuase i was there i was so scared of this deccision but in me been the way i was to her she replyed “kevin its going to happen just have to be paitent and i want to be with you” and you know for the time being that was the best anser in the world for me nothing has been siad better she siad i was a bit impulsive but she siad i was paitent i am maybee getting my hopes up a little but i loved that


  4. Trust God with the people you love. Stop trying to carry all the weight. Cast your burdens on the Lord, because He cares for you, and his shoulders are wider than yours. Be kind to yourself and quit being a nag. That should do it. Blessings to you, Sana…


  5. Dear Emmelin,

    Stop worrying about what other people think of you and stand up for yourself when necessary. Don’t let people bully you at work. Remember that you are always trying to make people who are rude to you at work like you by you being nicer to them and this is the response of a trauma survivor feeling threatened not the way of a mature, adult woman.

    At home- make the boys do more chores, don’t let your adult daughter guilt you into doing things for her, and go on laundry strikes more often so that others will wash the laundry.

    Give up on cleaning the house; it will never get done.

    Give up on ever fitting into a size 12 again, that’s probably gone for good.

    Focus on getting into as good shape as you can, by walking and biking and prioritizing this above obsessing over work, and household worries.

    Learn as much as you can about your new condition, asthma, and take your medications carefully. Avoid your triggers and always carry your inhalers with you.

    See your therapist every week.

    Engage in healthy, outdoor hobbies.

    Instead of worrying over the house not getting painted, get done what you can pay someone to do, like replacing more windows a little at a time. You didn’t marry a fix it guy, and you’re not dating a fix it guy. Give up on a man to do work around the house. It’s not going to happen. Just be lucky that you HAVE a house, even if its old and falling apart, and that you CAN afford the mortgage!

    Don’t obsess about work when you aren’t there! Let it all go! You react like a trauma survivor to all this work bullshit which is not a big deal. You know how the politics are there, and you choose to stay because you like your job. Do your job, which you are good at, and don’t worry about how nuts the rest of the place is.




    • Emmelin, such a lovely letter. your insight is affecting and your hard work on being friendly w yourself is something of courage! thank u for sharing w us this beautiful part of your story. many need to know they are not alone and u make a difference w that. keep on.


  6. They would say..

    SD, please stop being so hard on yourself. You are a compassionate person who works to give love to all in need. You work hard and give your all to your work and your family. Remember to be patient with yourself and to take time to acknowledge the value you bring to the world. You are stronger than you think and you will do great things in time. Love yourself as you love others. And above all, never forget how far you have come.



  7. I would tell myself not to pout or complain so much, for one thing. Also, to stop feeling so bad when I make a mistake. All that matters is if I’m trying my best. Also, don’t worry so much what others think.


  8. I did not respond to this right away because I had to take the time to think exactly what my letter would be. It is still not finished but it is good..good for me. When I told my sister about it she said that she has been doing that for years. I am trying to step way outside myself to accomplish this and make it real!
    Thanks for a great challenge!


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