together (Photo credit: jungmoon)
I want to meet you on a narrow path. A trail that only we can fit so we bump into each other often. We apologize in turns until finally the collisions become familiar to us both and we accept that you and I are not alone. Less space so we bang along, is just what I am and was hoping for.
Happy Thanks-Giving my friend. I am thankful for you.
Self-care tip – allow the space to bring you into company and connection. You are not alone.
Image via Wikipedia
Sad Steve Jobs died. We were blessed by his life and will continue to be.
Met with girlfriend Lisa Fields who is an expert at connecting ideas in a way that no one else has thought of. Lisa, in essence, connects people to the product or market they are looking for. If you remember when we spoke about grazers and barn people, Lisa is a wonder-grazer in the best way intended. Any topic, any interest, any picture, product, person or punch-line, Lisa can make it bigger, more connected and better. She turns it in more angles of view than eyes on a spider. Thank you Lisa for tonight.
Anyhow, with Lisa tonight, turning and connecting ideas together, we caught the news. Steve Jobs died.
Mourning his loss with you my friends. Keep on.
Lisa Fields
The last award I received was the Stylish Blogger award. It’s only happened a couple of times but it has always been a fun surprise.
Our friend, Carl D’Agostino, awarded FriendtoYourself.com the Liebster Blog Award. Why? He says it’s to bring additional recognition to this site. I now understand that FriendtoYourself.com qualifies because it has less than 200 followers. This is the one time I am glad to have less than 200 followers because being honored by Carl is huge for me. If you check out his comments here at FriendtoYourself.com, his cartoons and comics on his own blog, i know i made you smile, and start interacting with him through his comment section, it won’t take you long to understand why.
Carl has over the past year+ become my friend and mentor. He never asked for it. You know that in the presence of a generous spirit, we naturally give without expecting more in return than that person is who they are. His intuition and sometimes edge, inspire and instruct. I’d be a fool not to listen. He doesn’t ask for it. But you know how it goes. In the presence of a generous spirit…. (Liebster means ‘beloved’ in German. Is that right Thysleroux? I think it’s real sweet. Thanks Carl.)
The rules roll that if you receive the award, not only do you have the, “less than 200 followers,” but you should have more. Those are the rules :). That, and, you should link back to the blogger that nominated you (yours truly) and nominate five more blogs. Let them know that you nominated them, or it may be that your tree grows in a forest of Internet Web and jungle but never seen.
Here are five blogs I am honored to share space with…. Five out of almost a google more out there that I admire – all for their own reasons. (You know who you are.) People doing what they love to do and working hard at it are a delight in life. Keep on.
1. Absurd Old Bird ~ aka Val Erde… who plays with words and images.
2. 
The Duck of Indeed Art, writing, and one person’s journey to do it all, – with, well… Duck.
3. KANSAS MEDIOCRITY, – with Tracy Phillips.
4. ocdbloggergirl.com LIVING WITH OCD…WITH HUMOR, – with Lisa
5. Living Victoriously Hope, Life, Inspiration, and Realities, – with Marie.
Image via Wikipedia
Yesterday we spoke about the emotion, happiness, as it connects to and does not connect to spirituality. Traditional western religions squirm or more, disagree when they hear this. Everything is spiritual in their school of thought. However, as our understanding of where emotions and behaviors come from, we have happily disentangled ourselves from the stigma and judgment that comes from the way many people have (mostly unwittingly and often without intended malice) abused us with mental illness.
I know that I have also been in this crowd of prejudiced. Coming out of that has been fun. There is still so much that I think I see clearly but don’t, as it is for us all. The growth we’re talking about is part of the high adventure that brings pleasure to life.
To say it plainly:
How does this fit into your biopsychosocial model of how you see yourself?
Biology. Psychology. Socially.
How does it influence the way you befriend yourself?
How might this influence stigma surrounding emotional illness?
Emotions are just one of the many things that make us who we are. Many many things. As we tease these bits of ourselves apart, it is not the same as denying the multi-paradigm weave that makes us who we are.
Self-Care Tip – Enjoy your emotions but don’t put your life on them.
Image by George Eastman House via Flickr
She is worth it!
Have you said that? Half crazed from this-way-that-way behaviors, your battered psyche crawls out of the smoking heap from your most recent relationship collision. There are times when this is absurd to continue. But have you ever seen those people who crawl out smiling? Sure their eyes are rolling around on their face but they are smiling. That might be you too. And there’s a reason for it. However the reason may not be what you think.
She is worth it!
I’m not disputing “her” value in this admirable exchange that takes all your energy. But what I do dust off from the good “encounter” we just spoke of is that although she may be worth it, I propose that isn’t the reason you think it is. The reason is you.
You find pleasure in it because of what it does for you. You think you are worth it, and you are.
Even the Bible says,
We love because He loved me first. 1 John 4: 19
We love because of what it does for Me. God isn’t surprised by that or looking down His nose at our motivation. It sounds like He is actually embracing it – fully consented.
Remember when we talked about inevitable selfish motives, secondary gain and the absence of altruism in us? Is that an ugly thing about us? I don’t think so. It is what it is.
Now this does not evaporate the connection, the realness of the exchange between two, the value of the bond or its quality. See blog-post, Things Will Always Be About “Me.” It does nothing else but discuss the motivation. I believe understanding our motivation to remain in a relationship is important not to devalue it or value it differently, but to help us take care of our own selves.
She is worth it. That isn’t the question.
What can go wrong in our self-friendship when we think we are motivated by reasons outside of what is in it for Me? What do you think? I think it distracts us. It’s wasted energy and we don’t have enough to waste. Getting it right, puts energy into us. Getting it wrong, takes energy away.
Yesterday we talked about wanting to connect with someone who has character pathology. Any of us can say that this is hugely energy depleting at times. If we think we are doing this for any other reason than for ourselves, we will get “burned” much more often than we might if we understand that we choose, consented, freely and for ourselves. We will wear the victim-crown and die the death of worn out do-gooders who lived to do nothing really but bemoan their special suffering existence. See blog-post, Please Don’t Say “But.”
Self-Care Tip – Do things for yourself with self-knowledge.
Evening friends. Or morning. Spent the day today and will tomorrow being present with the father of my children. Can’t give what we don’t have and I’m thankful, humbly, to say that I have love for him. That’s currency of sorts I suppose. There have been sad times for us when I didn’t have bank.
What has being a friend to yourself invested in you? Do you find love there? You were made for it. Blessings! 🙂
Self-Care Tip # I can’t remember! – Give to yourself love and friendship and you will find love and friendship where it dwells.
Image by Rickydavid via Flickr
In Summary:
Q1: What does being “a friend to yourself” mean?
Q2: What helps?
Q3: What doesn’t help?
Q4: What helps despite this?
Q5: What is the relationship between biology and choice when it comes to understanding where emotions and behaviors come from?
Image by Erik - parked in Cairo these days via Flickr
We are doing a narrative series on understanding where emotions and behaviors come from:
What we have covered so far in our series is that we know emotions are contagious. We know that if we take care of our own first, we might not be as “susceptible” to negative “contagion” in turn and perhaps, be more available to giving and receiving positive “emotion-contagion.” Further, we hope that if we do this, we might be able to choose to be with people we love even if they don’t do their own self-care. We can have that connection without personalizing what isn’t about us. Sigh. That is nice, isn’t it? Then …out at sea (away from our narrative for a day,) we talked about the pleasure in engaging with what bits of biology are directly available to us and the relationship we maintain with the big expanse of our unconscious biology. Yesterday we reviewed our biopsychosocial model as a tool for further understanding where our emotions and behaviors come from.
Self-Care Tip #272 – If you are ever unsure about where your emotions and behaviors are coming from, it is always safe and true enough to say, “Me.”
Where do emotions and behaviors come from?
Me.
For example: Me <–> Emotions Shared <–> Me <–> Emotions Hidden <–> Me <–> small conscious self and BIG unconscious self <–> Me <–> Biological, Psychological, Social selves <–> Me… round and round, starting and ending and starting with Me.
Rob and Yesenia were both breathing hard. Rob was pale and Yesenia flushed. Where to start? With Me. This is what I shared with them both.
Put your spouse down and take three steps back! Own your own self. Take care of your own self. In the process, you will be able to pick each other up again and share love.
Questions: What are you holding, carrying, using to explain where your emotions and behaviors come from? How have you been able to put those down and hold yourself? Please tell me your story.
Image by dfarber via Flickr
We are doing a narrative series on understanding where emotions and behaviors come from:
What we’ve covered so far in our series is that we know emotions are contagious and we know that if we take care of our own first, we might not be as “susceptible to contagion” in turn. Further we were left with the hope that if we do this, we might have the ability to choose to be with people we love even if they don’t do their own self-care and have that connection without personalizing what isn’t about us. Sigh. That is nice, isn’t it?
Yesterday, M in his usual gentle way, reminded us that contagious emotions might be effective for spreading more deliberately and more in the positive nature.
I am encouraged and hopeful. Being peaceful can be contagious too?
Then today I read a tweet about Chris Sacca’s commencement address.
presence -> sleeping well -> breathing *ahhh* -> embracing my weird self -> presence. Thx again @sacca So good.
Well worth my time! Sacca spoke about being a friend to yourself! Can you believe it!? …Ok. He didn’t say those words or mention this blog, …or me …but he may as well have! (Wink.)
If you listen, think and process, please tell. I would love to hear what you get from his speech.
…Did you catch the bit about start overs?! You know I love that.
Sometimes however, I am a real bore making this “friend to yourself” thing seem so dull and difficult. And M and Sacca are right! Peace and happiness are also contagious and a better effort. To get that, Sacca tells us to do some specific things. Did you catch them?
Question: What did Chris Sacca say that you find useful to friendship with yourself? or others?
Self-Care #269 – Positive emotions and behaviors are also contagious and are a better effort for your friend – You.
Bullying: Series Continued.
Bullying is a broad term. We could call it “dirty,” meaning non-specific. Here we’ve spent several days discussing it and stil trip on the dirt. What we want to do is tease life-threatening events included in the broad category of bullying apart from the…, I don’t know, can we call them lesser degrees of bullying? Anything that isn’t perceived as life-threatening can lay in that heap, let’s say.
Image via Wikipedia
Each of us must figure out where we are in these two categories. What type of bully did I or do I have? (I have to smile when I say “My bully.” Sounds like a teddy bear or blankie. And it sooo is not!) I think when we can do this, we can know even more about our self-care options.
There is a main category named, “Bullied.”
Event perceived as life-threatening -> you folks on the right.
Event perceived as non-life-threatening -> you folks on the left.
On the right, we have some who have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and some who don’t. I’ve seen mothers get it after a traumatic birth and post-partum period when their baby might have died. I’ve seen people get it from watching terribly violent movies. Of course we’ve all seen or been survivors of abuse, war, or other near death experiences who become angry, irritable, nervous and suspicious of others. We’ve watched our once cuddly personality disappear. Everyone in this system is hurt and hurting – bully and bullied and those connected to either.
Not all survivors go on to develop PTSD after life-threatening events and we can’t clearly say why. These people on the right straddle the line with those on the left.
We also have current events and past events. We can number there order of passing in our lives. For example, 1. saw our mother beat up for years by our father, 2. watched Silence of The Lambs, 3. excluded and conspired against in high school by mean click, 4. neighbor strong-arms you into getting rid of your dog and paying him money for perceived damages.
PTSD can set in at any point on that time line because of the conditioning/changes the life-threatening event did to the brain.
Those on the left didn’t get much attention today. I’m sorry about that. You guys are just as important but my agenda today was to clarify.
Questions: How does this clarification help you, if at all? How would you try to define bullying?
Self-Care Tip #255 – Know what type of bully you had or have to know how to approach yourself in friendship.
Image by TheeErin via Flickr
Self-Care Tip #253 – Humanize and forgive your bully.
How to be a friend to yourself when thinking about your bully?
Have you noticed that when we think about our bully, we don’t feel so good. Just thinking about him! Sheeze! In our last post on bullying, Nancy said,
Wow! This one brought up WAY too much pain. I’m feeling very vulnerable and uncomfortable and hurt and stupid at the moment.
There are jumbled emotions that flood us, such as anger, shame, helplessness, anxiety or more. Our autonomics may even trigger, making us hypervigilant as if we were being attacked. We are in defense mode – all the while sitting alone in a chair at our desk, in the quiet of our bed while falling asleep, or any other place of our generally hum-drum lives. These feelings and nervous system changes come in a time and place when we are not in danger. They come without us realizing their approach, stealth feet and skilled hands; we are in their company before we know it.
Is there no hope? What can we do so we don’t feel victimized all over again.
Humanize
1. Do research on the bully. Find out about him on the internet. See what others have said about him.
This helps us:
Grow our self-confidence
Now if they continue, these rememberings, and if these rememberings are frequent enough that we believe our quality of life is affected, we may be looking at something else. There are other medical illnesses that can disable our abilities to cope. In this scenario, I am thinking especially about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.)
In PTSD, we relive experiences of trauma (which we perceived to have been life threatening to ourselves or observed by us in other(s).) We may also feel hypervigilant, as if we are about to be attacked at times when our lives are not threatened. We might have nightmares and avoid things that remind us of the trauma event as well.
PTSD is easily reactivated by other stressful situations – such as being bullied. When we have a history of PTSD that has been quiet for a time, even years, we are more vulnerable to stressors reactivating it’s symptoms. Then, although the said stressor may not have been a life-threatening stressor, we perceive similar feelings and neurologic changes we did when in the life-threatening situation. Then, although the said stressor may be over and not recurring, those PTSD symptoms start happening all over again and may continue indeterminately – propagated by the disease process and not our bully event.
This might be endured and it may go away in time without treatment. But it isn’t good for anyone while it is happening. PTSD can improve with medical therapies.
Question: How have you been able to humanize and forgive your bully? Please tell me your story.
Image via Wikipedia
Hello folks. Just cried my eyes out watching the well-developed character of Michael Scott close out his work at The Office. What is it that moved me so much? The connection. Michael Scott, played by the talented Steve Carol, ended his performance with the question,
They say that at your death-bed you’re never going to wish you spent more time at the office. Not me. I’m going to wish I had more…. Who are the people you work with? Your very best friends in the world.
I could barely breath at this point. Pile of tissues on the table. My stunned husband letting me blubber goo on his shirt. He asked,
What is it that you liked so much?
Only my husband would ask what I liked in the middle of a good cry. He knows that crying doesn’t mean I don’t like what’s happening. He knows my twisted ways. Connection is lovely enough to like, miraculous enough to marvel over, worthy enough to lose my cool over. It is after all one of our favorite topics here at FriendtoYourself.com. It is after all what you and I have shared, working so hard for, spending hours every day writing or whatever it is that each of us do to grow that fragile yet strong wonder of humankind – connection. This bit of self-care follows us into heaven, or leads. Who knows, follow and lead, when we are connected.
Within the friendly grip of connection, in this marvelous episode, we see that good-byes might bring us even closer together. I see this all the time in crisis settings, hospitals, illnesses, pending closures to something that was loved. The closure draws us closer into what good the connection had offered us. To improve what we had previously thought was so good that it was beyond improving. To draw forth, our greater selves.
Self-Care Tip # – Give yourself over to the miracle of connection in all your good-bye’s.
Questions: What makes connection part of self-care? How have you been a better friend to yourself by the influence of connections?
Once again, I find myself in a café. This doesn’t happen often enough for me. But here,
I am
at the wonderful le Croissant Bakery, indulging not only in the quiet of my private thoughts, not only in my delectable chocolate croissant with coffee, but also in the ambiance.
Here, there is this completely lovely group of white-headeds, maybe ten of them at a table, sharing the treasured community of each other. None of them walk completely upright. One is wearing his oxygen tubing with tank in tow. The ladies are coiffed irregardless of their folding skin and thin hair. 
I am
so blessed to be in their community, testifying to me that aging doesn’t have to be done alone. 
I am
sure, 100% sure, that none of them are aging as they dreamed. Each of them have outlived many loved ones and the ground they walk on has changed many many times. They have, each of them, learned to walk again after suffering the type of loss that put’s any of us in bed.
I am
blessed. This collection of café moments they have together does not account for these losses. This does not resolve their ongoing conflicts or pain.
But none of them,
I am
100% sure, did not let those things keep them from having this moment together today.
All this sureness without having checked my notes with them? Yes.
I am.
Image by rockbadger via Flickr
Image via Wikipedia
Self-Care Tip #237 – When things get heated, get a second opinion with your friend.
What would my friend say?
When in question, ask. And who is the friend we are referred to here? The “Me.”
This is a great check point to give ourselves. Things get heated between her and him, she gets a second opinion.
Barbara had read this blog and tucked something of its fabric away in her blended space between conscious and sub. Then one day, while zoning out listening to her husband yell and criticize her, she saw herself. It was as if she split into the participating Barbara and the observing Barbara. The participating Barbara suddenly didn’t feel so alone. The word, or more the concept of “friend” came to mind and she put it together.
Now generally when she is in a situation that hurts and bewilders her, she is remembering to ask her friend what she should do. Asking used to take longer, but now it comes to mind as quickly as the thought of consulting an intimate partner would.
What would my friend say?
Things weren’t peaceful yet in her life, but just asking her friend what she would do has helped Barbara a lot. Barbara explained to me that if she were with a girlfriend, say Sally, and Sally gets worked over by her husband, Barbara wouldn’t have any problem thinking of what Sally should do about taking care of herself. Barbara says that being her own friend is almost the same.
And then for me, it clicked. I can ask my friend.
What should I do?
Question: When getting hurt by someone, how can you get friendly with yourself in the moment? Please tell me your story.
Image by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) via Flickr
Self-Care Tip #234 – Imagine if you were your own friend, and take your advice.
Joana Johnson, author of CreatingBrains.com, full-time mom of six, part-time University history teacher, student, wife, confidant, friend and sister-in-law… (no she’s not running for president) …Joana asked me today,
Write a letter to someone you love sharing what you want them to do to take better care of themselves. You don’t have to give it to them or you can.
Now imagine what letter with what self-care requests would someone who loved you write to you?
…You’re right. I’m going to have to talk her into running for president.
And so, I offer this challenge to you. I wonder after you. I am sitting in waiting. Please tell us this part or more of your story.
Image via Wikipedia
Self-Care Tip #191 – Do what you desire to get friendly with yourself.
What is your most core desire? I am learning more about mine.
I wonder at the improvement in my quality of life since blogging with you. It is More than the pleasure of writing; which I do love and have missed for years. It is More than the pleasure of being productive; a natural high for my temperament. It is More than the self-care tips listed off that roll back; a tide of all that is sent out comes in again to wash over me and change the shape of my life.
This morning I ran into a newer friend. We came into each other’s lives, catalyzed by the ingredient that this blog provided. I am sure I would not previously have allowed myself the pleasure of speaking with her for long without it. My temperament has always been a driving force that pushes me into “the barn.” I often miss the journey for the end. This is “The More” that has been given to me. Connection.
Now people actually look different. Despite years of medical education, years of psychotherapy and my years of life, I never saw people to the extent that I do now. Each of us here for a time with our stories, our pearls to offer and each of us with our essence to share for eternity. It is one more time for me when I am open-eyed, open-mouthed gawking at the thought of “The More” that is still coming. Better than this.
Think of your most core desire; what you are driven toward by biology, genes and higher intelligence. What has given you access to that? Now think about how to go for More. That is self-care.
Question: Oh, you know what I’m going to ask…
Dear Readers,
You may have noticed the odd news. Stylish Zahara nominated me as a stylish blogger. This is one more example about why technology is a form of self-care, because despite it all, Zahara made me feel great!
It is also another wonderful example of things never being all about “Me.” Probably this is because you readers and commenters are so dang stylish! We should all take a look in the mirror and wink. I just did and it was a thrill. (Do stylish people do that sort of thing? See what I mean?)
The down side of this nomination is the to-do list. I’ve never been good at to-do lists. But, I do want to qualify at one of my only chances to be called stylishhhhhh stylish. Every cuckoo’s egg hopes to get away with this!
Present seven things about yourself:
Here comes the fun part of the to-do list. Me jumping up and down over you is the highest form of fashion. Ooo! Ooh! Whoop!!!! Here come my moves. (Loud crashing sounds assault us.)
Name six other bloggers for the award. Contact them and link back to the person, (in this case Zahara the wonderful,) and hope that everyone listed pushes this forward:
1. Joana Johnson in Creating Brains. Nothing like nepotism, (she’s my sister-in-law.) But I have to tell you, I’ve always thought Joana was stylish. I remember my brother describing her the first time he saw her. It was in the ’80’s and she was rocking the hair bows and lace. She was his first and last love and I’ve never questioned why. You can sense it in her writing. She’s got style.
2. The best grammarian I’ve ever known, Sarah McGhaugh in Bird in Your Hand. Sarah brings style to grammar like none other. And she really likes grammer! Only that kind of contagion could influence my well-learned bad habits.
3. XCandyXCane writes well about her fight with mental illness in Moose Lips Sink Ships. She’s eloquent and real. That’s classy.
4 and 5. I have a hankering that won’t go away for both ThysLeRoux and The Only Cin. They were some of the first to compile my supportive blog community. They have style.
ThysLeRoux is a marvelous cartoonist and humorist.
Here's Thysleroux's latest work sample
Cindy is an artist of life truisms, ah-ha’s and food, wielding all that using only photographs and words – she’s got one of the hugest vocabularies one person ever demonstrated and a great eye for food. It’s a pleasure on many levels to read her work.
6. Kevin Blumer is a living example of what self-care can do for someone who hadn’t been caring for himself. He is open and he’s available to the world around him – style many of us just don’t wear easily.
7. I know, seven is too many but I had to list our honorary blog-jacker, Mr. Rick C.
Now you guys do your thing! Push it forward. There are sooooo many other lovelies out there with serious style that should be on this too short list. ….You lovelies know who you are! Take care of yourselves.
Your Own,
Dr. Q
Self-Care Tip #110 – Find your masquerade and let it teach you how to be open.
We often talk about taking masks off. About being open and “face” our lives with courage. However doing that isn’t always as easy as saying it. Sometimes doing the opposite makes it easier in preparation for when we have courage to try again. Sometimes putting the mask on makes it easier to more completely know and be known.
On Twitter today, this came from bigfishtopdogs Theresa BradleyBanta:
Here’s my #FF. These people rock! They engage!
Getting that fresh compliment almost stung when I realized how I preened underneath it. Here in the real world, I don’t know who to show my feathers to. My reply to Theresa was
Wow. How come I can’t hear anyone say that in “real life?”. Twitter is like a smokey dark room where anything can happen.
Sometimes people think of hiding behind things as a way to do indiscrete lascivious acts that you wouldn’t want to do if you were identified.
I propose that a little hiding is a good thing for ourselves. To get up close and personal. To share over-the-top compliments and receive them. It doesn’t mean something bad unless we use it badly. I propose that when we disguise a little on occasion, we might remember how to act more freely when we are in the open – how to, when we try again.
Having the courage to try again and again to connect gets easier when we have fun reminders as to why we want it so bad.
Question: What have your positive experiences been when you were a little less inhibited? If fantasies could come true, how would you like it to carry over into your “real” life? Please tell me your story.
Ok folks. Not much time to write tonight. My girly girlfriend is moving out-of-state and we’re off soon on something of a Ta-Ta! date. Why in the world do I feel rejected?! If I were French I might think it was the language of the heart. But I’m not French so I can’t say what they’d say.
Friendship requires ongoing navigation through life. You can’t ever just sit back and expect safe waters. The close pals go far away and although they’ll always be friends, here we find ourselves, beached and sifting sand. Finding gold is thought to be infrequent I think when sifting sand.
Today my daughter told me her classmate’s father lost his job. Big ouch. She told me, “Mommy, I wish money covered the streets everywhere so no one would ever not have enough.” She hasn’t entirely learned what gives value to the dollar. Friendship is like that. Valuable and uncommon.
My friend told me once that I chose her and she chose me. It’s awesome to be chosen!
So I’m off to rub my coins together and be with my friend. She is a treasure.
Self-Care Tip #90 – Don’t forget that your friends chose you too. Be a friend to yourself.
Questions: Have you noticed that you’ve been chosen too? Please tell me your story.
Art Joy by Marie Schem
Self-Care Tip #88 – Win yourself over. Be a friend to yourself.
Dr. White works with mostly women in primary care medicine. She tells me that her women so often come in tired, overextended, and they say they don’t feel good. She wonders why they think they can run 2 full-time jobs (parenting and employment) without suffering for it. Her counsel is to down scale.
My patients do so much better when they are working part-time.
Christie, a mom of 3 who works full-time, tells me tonight,
It’s hard.
That’s not new news but nor is it small news. How many of us nod when on the subject of self-care. We sagely stroke our chin yet are nowhere to be found on the list of topics of interest. Do we even get pleasure out of taking care of ourselves?
I think there’s a misperception here. The hard part is not doing the 2 jobs that Dr. White’s patients work. It is working our own person. Maybe if we found more pleasure in caring for ourselves we would. Maybe if we connected that caring for ourselves is the minus-1 to the starting point of caring for others. We can get hooked. We can. But it won’t be the same for all of us. Any way you turn it though, we have to make it sticky, linked to pleasure, and making sense.
Question: Is there anything specific you can think of that contributes to self-care being a positive thing in your life? Please tell me your story.
Friend to Yourself 