Best Self-Care Ever! StepBet

move-it

Hello Friends!

This post is a simple plug for one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

You have heard me talk about neural grooves and changing habits such as those that are not friendly to Me. In a post, “Pay a Dollar,” I said,

When you feel trapped by your own self, get friendly by remembering this.  You’re mistaken.  You’re talking about a brain groove, not a vampire.  It’s not hopeless.  Not much more, not much less than what it is.  A groove can be abandoned.  New paths can be made and when the stressor hits next time, you will have a longer moment to decide on which behavior to play.  You will have a choice and you will realize more often that you are not trapped by what you thought; you are not hopeless and ugly.

So how long does it take to form a habit? Or break one? To change neural grooves in the brain. Many say, twenty-one days. Others say, you have to do it every day for a year.

This game, StepBet, is designed to get us moving as a habit. I’m loving it. I invite all my patients to join me. My team. My friends! I’m not leaving you out! Smile. Check it out.

You put $40 up that says you will walk a determined number of steps every day, except one, each week for six weeks. If you miss a day, you lose your forty bucks. Some days, I start thinking, …”It’s just forty dollars…(whine – a long high pitched complaining cry.)” The money from those who don’t make it to six weeks goes into a kitty and later dispersed amongst all those who did. Yah! So fun!

Please join me, and let me know how it goes for you.

How StepBet Works

1. Get Your Goals

2. Place Your Bet

3. Step it Up!

Question: What do you do to be kind to yourself, habitually? Please tell your story!

Keep on!

Sequestering Physicians from the Muggles

muggles

When in the exam room, we do not want it to be about the physician.  However many of us don’t want it to be about the patient.

Some of us want it to be about the system, whatever system we are in, so that the system can run as smoothly as possible and get all our protocols met. Are we are making physician-robots?  We isolate them and ourselves. There is a pressure when working in a system to sequester the physicians, such as wizards from the Muggles.

As physicians, we care better for our patients when we realize what we are getting out of the relationship.  We give much better when we know what we are hoping to get and perhaps hoping not to get.  We give better even with medical care.  Is it comforting to think that when it is medical, it is objective, about data?  More safe, perhaps.   However, this binary logic, is false.  We do not practice in such.  We practice in a place where people smile and cry and bond and connect and receive from us and give to us.  When we practice, it is personal.  It is obvious that it is professional.  The delusion is that professional is an either/or condition.  Either professional or personal.  Not both.  Never both.  That is a buttered wall to grip before sliding into patient doctor sexual relations.  Sneeze.

There is a term called, Grace, you may have heard of.  Grace is the condition of receiving without purchase.  Having been gifted and celebrating in the gift without qualifying it.  Perhaps getting a great review from a patient on-line you are expected to respond to, and just saying, “Thank you.”  We have a hard time with this in our world.  “Getting” well.

I struggle with “getting.”  I cannot describe yet how to get well.  How to receive.  When a patient gives to me, I struggle not to qualify what I am getting in the same way I qualify taking a trip to Hawaii, “Oh, I’m going to a medical conference.”  Or, “Look at this new patio set I got from Home Depot!  It was totally on sale.  I got a great deal.”

In practicing medicine, we need to grow to an acceptance of what we receive, and receive with Grace.

I am sure being a patient is better when we realize what we are getting from the exchange too.  We get more, or perhaps differently, than what the insurance and copay gives purchase to.  I hope the patient-doctor relationship is more than what can be had on the street of a Turkish bazaar.

Question:  What are you getting from your patient-doctor relationship?  What is your clinician getting from you?  How can you receive with Grace?  Does this affect your accountability to yourself?  Is this an act of friendship to Me?  Please tell us your story.

Self-Care Tip:  Get you some Grace, with Grace.

Honking my horn

….check it out ( yay! smiling!)

Sleep Well

Sleep Well: A “Friend to Yourself” Resource

by Sana Johnson-Quijada MD (Author)

In a culture that demands our time, our attention, and our energy 24-7, sleep has gotten a bad reputation. A full night of rest can feel like a weakness, an indulgence, something selfish. But sleep, says Dr. Sana Johnson-Quijada, is critical to our mental and physical health. And when we are not getting enough quality sleep, our lives suffer. Dr. Q explores the reasons why we sabotage healthy sleep patterns, identifies our unique sleep temperaments, and offers practical, positive, and achievable goals for sleeping better. From a daily sleep log to the 12 Rules of Sleep Hygiene, readers will walk away with the motivation and tools to get the rest they need.

Tell Us What You Are Doing

A pair of Hopper balloons.

This morning, running with Kaia Fitness, I did not have a good book downloaded on my iphone and I was in-between groups of girls I could have chatted with. What to do while running?

Apparently I cannot do one thing at a time, such as simply running. Multitasking is one of my geniuses but also one of my many achilles. My friends at Viking Clinical Research say I have not floundered since I was in-utero. Which is not true.

There were orange groves on my left, vineyards on my right and in front coming out of the morning frost floated eight hot air balloons. Seriously gorgeous.

I decided to call my Missouri-brother and say, Happy Sabbath. Of course, when he picked up he said, “I hope you’re running Sana, cuz if you aren’t…?” I told him I was running.
To the fridge and he said, “That’s good, cuz it means you’re out of bed.”

Well connecting with him was fun, despite his snark. And now with you.

Happy Sabbath, friends. Please tell us today what you are doing to be a friend to yourself? Speak out! We need to hear you. Keep on.

Dr. Q

Unrequited Love of Me

tony

tony (Photo credit: Foxtongue)

A broken heart is.  Colors left behind give clues to whom was involved.

Wanda worked hard at her friendship.  She went into it with optimism.  She had chosen deliberately to do this, the steps toward taking care of herself. Taking these steps, like climbing a fine promise, notarized contract in hand.  She had the confidence of one who has turned aside from indenturehood to property.

Did Wanda get what she thought she would?

Miles was a good-looking man with nicely aged skin, obvious strength anyone noticed in his muscled limbs, and grooves more than wrinkles on his intense face.  He never lacked expression.  He was intense.  And it was with this body and emotion that he went into his relationship with Sara.

Did Miles get what he thought he would?

The most intimate exchanges, the most elemental, the very basic level of love to Me, you or any other is disappointing when it is a negotiation.  We will never get back what we gave for.  Relationships are never satisfying when they are mercantile, even with Me.

Question:  How do you get out of a mercantile relationship with yourself?  How do you give in friendship to “Me” without defined parameters of what you will get back?  When you do, what has happened in your relationship with “Me?”

Self-Care Tip:  Grow friendship with yourself as a lover not a merchant.

Related Posts:

Be as Good To Yourself As You Want Your Loved Ones to Be to Themselves

What Comes To Me From Others Is a Gift

Connecting to Others is a Condition of Freedom Rather Than Loss of It.

Super Act Of Friendship

fitness

fitness (Photo credit: o0bsessed)

One of my biggest bestest connections is now Kaia Fitness.  In the year 2012, shortly after the onset of a life-morphing tragedy, and while in line to order my green tea no classic soy latte with extra matcha and a scoop of protein, (big smile), I noticed two bonny blonds standing behind me.

I met the initiative and creative sisters themselves.  They both practice medicine and passion for being a friend to Me, which you can imagine, had me wagging.

Would you like to join us this morning in Kaia?

Here we are thirteen weeks later and I’m spilling over in gratitude.  So much that I can’t but tell you, too.

One of the favorite lines of Kaia-girls is in brief that no matter how slow or “behind” or ashamed we are of the condition of Me, we’re still better off than someone on the couch.   And I am.

I’m better off than I was thirteen weeks ago.  My body brings me more pleasure than shame.  My beloved tenuous weaving threads, including friendships, have increased in number and I am designed for connection.  I suffer less ridiculous guilt.  I have more of my freedoms, hope, purpose and presence with the frailty of my Time-tied life.  I see Me a little more; the blend of my flaws with my fine stitches.

I’m better to others.  That’s what others notice of course.  Barely.  Not the stars in my rug, but sometimes, they notice, or rather complain less about Me.  Otherwise, they don’t.  Not much more fanfare than that.  Not much endorphin-ee drama.

Yet again, I see that it all comes back to MeWhere it started.

Consider Sleep as a Symptom of Brain Health

English: Lou Ruvo Brain Institute

English: Lou Ruvo Brain Institute (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When the brain gets sick, what does it look like?  Do we grow warts, or turn purple or loose our thumbs?  How does our brain say,

Help!

Through emotions and behaviors.  That’s how.

If we were an internist, a primary care physician, we would look at the vital signs.  We’d put our fingers on the wrist, count beats of the heart and breathing, and measure the pressure in the blood filled arteries.  This would tell us some of the story, the introduction to the body.

A church secretary came in complaining of indigestion times two weeks….

Or,

In a far off land, there once was a young maiden who by chance came to a magic filled glade…

Smile.

How does one do this in psychiatry though?  We start with the vital sign of SLEEP.

A farmer in the vast expanse of corn fields went each night to his bed with determination, gritted teeth and racing thoughts.  He worried over things that others thought were insignificant.  He ruminated and chewed over information.  Making decisions followed him around as if each were a crisis life balanced on.  The farmer was awake in the night for hours before his mind turned off.  And when he awakened, he was not refreshed….

Question:  Are you comfortable with considering sleep as a symptom of brain health?  When do you decide to look for medical reasons for poor sleep verses adjustment issues?  Please tell us your story.

Self-care tip:  Get to know your story to know better about your health.