Don’t Let Your Sense of Need Get Away From You

Pinocchio Illustration - When He Becomes a Donkey

Pinocchio Illustration - When He Becomes a Donkey (Photo credit: Kev.Kirsche)

Self-Care Tip:  Find your need, grip it tight enough to not let it be taken from you and loose enough that fatigue will not lose it for you.

If we don’t know our need, if we don’t know our wanting, the reason we say “Evangelize,” “Buy this!,” “Don’t miss it!,” if we don’t know why we care what other people are doing, we will not be so productive.  We will be a poor salesman.  We will have a droll experience.  Things will not make sense to us and will be something other than friendly.  We bore ourselves when we don’t know why.

What was it like when not being a friend to Me?  Remember the way we treated others, the disconnection from the people we wanted and the way life didn’t absorb.  Remember why we started with Me.

This is everywhere in our lives – taking medications and resenting it, skipping our exercise, staying up late at night when we are feeling so good, turning our addictions over to our Higher Power becomes rhetoric and you know what more.

This is just a short trip into this idea today.  I’ve been blessed remembering my lows, being in my lows, and experiencing my wanting.  I’ve been messed up when I didn’t.  I don’t want so many goodies that I turn into a donkey.

Keep on.

Questions:   How has remembering your wanting improved your ability to be a friend to yourself?  How do you keep the memory of your wanting even when you don’t?  Please tell me your story?

19 thoughts on “Don’t Let Your Sense of Need Get Away From You

  1. Time can soften the memory of the donky days. Part of keeping my bank full is to remember the pain when my balance was zero or less. I have to exercise remembering and reliving the pain to know how much freedom I have now.

    This blog was the start of the new vector. Had to trust first and initiate second.

    Thanks for all you are doing Dr. Quijada!

  2. wanting . . . . that is provocative. as i was reading the blog i was transported back to what i so deeply wanted so deeply yearned (what a great word yearned you can make that y so long when you speak it to emphasize the word . . yearn) i wanted i yearned so deeply for love. it takes my breath away when i go down into my body to even go to that place. to just be little and be loved. and what does that love language look like to me? to be heard, to be believed, to be respected, to be encouraged, to be me and know i was safe in that place. to be allowed to be BIG and not made small and kept small. to have little tokens or expressions of affection or regard. to be regarded.

    some how this all goes together along with your statement:
    “What was it like when not being a friend to Me? Remember the
    way we treated others, the disconnection from the people we wanted and the way life didn’t absorb. Remember why we started
    with Me”

    i am disconnected from some a special some one because i have felt so hurt by them over the years and somehow i can forgive everyone else everything else but this one person and how much they have hurt me or i have allowed them to hurt me.

    how does my wanted and yearning and being disconnected go together? ah ha . . . because the very person i want to show me all those things respect, regard, love, space for me to be Big, to be heard and accepted, to receive a small token of affection, this person does not do that or to my expectation of my love language.
    and i search for the expressions of them that i can receive but its so tight and yes fatiguing. i’m tired. so back to reading “we stated with Me!

    this all fits with some other work i am doing Sana. of course it does!

    Happy Easter and many Blessings to you all!


    • i think that is colossal – going back to – “we started with Me.” when things get confusing, starting again with Me is the ironic simple yet complex best approach. looking forward to hearing how this progresses. thank u for sharing w us. keep on.

  3. Maybe I just haven’t gotten far enough away from the wanting to be well to forget those days. Maybe because I wanted so much and so desperately, I will never forget. I’m just grateful that I’m on the other side and grateful that you, Sana, and my friends at this site keep me from never completely forgetting but, now, seldom obsessing about the wanting days. I feel so blessed to be a part of all of you in our never-ending healing process.

  4. He always gets what he wants.
    He must be a master to want.

    Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

    Oh, good timing Sana, Great Expectations tonight on Masterpiece Theater.

    This has been a great thought provoking (as always) blog. Thank you Sana for creating a new way of looking at life.


  5. col, this got sent to spam and trashed by accident ! sorry lady.

    Submitted on 2012/04/08 at 11:51 am | In reply to grandma7501.

    ohhhh . . . .maybe i just haven’t gotten far enough away from the wanting to be well to forget about those days.

    that is brilliant! to be far enough away from the wanting. i am afraid to want because my wanting seldom ever materialized anything that i wanted. want something, expectation created, expectation denied, pain and frustration.

    i guess part of the pattern is the wanting and not have an expectation. to simply want and be at peace in the wanting. does that make sense?
    without an expectation. thank you for posting. i have been quietly mulling sana’s questions as i did my chores this a.m. and you helped me put a piece in!

    blessings today and every day

    • Col, what I wanted was to be well, emotionally, and, because the pain and terror of being mentally ill was so great, I still find it hard to forget that pain and, especially, the terror. I’m never not scared that I will have to experience it again. Wanting anything and then being denied what you so wanted, I know, is also painful. I like that you want to simply want and find peace in the wanting, and, yes, it does make sense. I pray that you find that peace one day – soon.

      Blessings to you also.

      Nancy – or Grandma7501

      • I was asked a question today in my Soul Circle. What do I want from God. Interesting question. Peace was all I came up with. Peace to be inside this body and mind and spirit and be at peace right here and right now. I think I have blinding moments of that and frequently. And like you I have lived with terror and mental illness not to your degree by the sounds of it, and I would rather move to a more complete me through the pain and terror than live incomplete and in a place numb. I can’t do numb any more. I have found people and myself to do my pain and terror with and moving to through it to peace. My desire to be well and whole (like you!) was bigger than my need to stay unwell and incomplete. It was compelling to become whole and well. At all costs.

        I feel so incredibly blessed that I have had the people placed around me to help me on my journey. They came when I was ready to be helped and willing to allow them to. Instead of doing it all on my own.
        But I was never alone because I had God. And that does bring Peace.

        Blessings for Peace for you as well.

      • hey sana

        we have finally had the most amazing weather here and tons of walks and time on my son’s ball field today. the sun is shining the mountains are amazing, the trees and flowers are blooming and there is not a cloud in the sky and its WARM! north vanouver which i love is dark and rainy so these sunny days really are amazing.

        anways, already with a full heart i came home to all the replies to all the different comments. and i just wanted to say

        sana, i love you. from the very bottom of my heart, i love you and i am so grateful you are in our lives. i really hope you can feel this love from so far way. please God.

        love col

  6. Hey Dr Q! It’s Bipoblogger, still going strong, still holding bipolar by its horns LOL. Glad to see a beacon is still alive for us. keep up the good work.

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