The Testimony of The White-Headed People – Connection and Aging

Once again, I find myself in a café.  This doesn’t happen often enough for me.  But here,Almond paste tart with chocolate mouse and blueberries

I am

at the wonderful le Croissant Bakery, indulging not only in the quiet of my private thoughts, not only in my delectable chocolate croissant with coffee, but also in the ambiance.

Here, there is this completely lovely group of white-headeds, maybe ten of them at a table, sharing the treasured community of each other.  None of them walk completely upright.  One is wearing his oxygen tubing with tank in tow.  The ladies are coiffed irregardless of their folding skin and thin hair.  Fruit tart

I am

so blessed to be in their community, testifying to me that aging doesn’t have to be done alone.  Flourless Chocolate cake with Ganache inside

I am

sure, 100% sure, that none of them are aging as they dreamed.  Each of them have outlived many loved ones and the ground they walk on has changed many many times.  They have, each of them, learned to walk again after suffering the type of loss that put’s any of us in bed.

I am

blessed.  This collection of café moments they have together does not account for these losses.  This does not resolve their ongoing conflicts or pain.

But none of them,

Almond paste tart with chocolate mouse and blueberries

I am

100% sure, did not let those things keep them from having this moment together today.

All this sureness without having checked my notes with them?  Yes.

I am.

Crumbs on a Plate

Image by rockbadger via Flickr

26 thoughts on “The Testimony of The White-Headed People – Connection and Aging

  1. As a pretty-close-to-white head, I love this post. I love the fact that the folks you saw today are enjoying coffee and croissants together. I love that they are there coiffed or dragging an oxygen tank or leaning on a cane or adusting a hearing aid. I can see them laughing and calling out to each other up and down the row of chairs. Yes, white heads have been through a lot and lost a lot, but the great thing about the folks who come out to coffee today is that they are, as my octogenarian bridge friends like to say, upright and eating solid food and on the right side of the grass. They know they’ve lost a lot; they are not kidding themselves by believing they won’t lose more. They also aren’t worried about getting to work or feeding the kids or going to meetings or even dieting. They are in the moment and, yes, maybe every moment counts, but they aren’t dwelling on that. They are enjoying life…right now, right then. I love this and I love that you didn’t ask a question. Not that I don’t love your questions, but this one is just a statement and it’s perfect. Thanks.

  2. Love the article Sana!!
    I think it’s all about attitude. As I get older, the drama is left behind, and the little things in life are either treasured or thrown aside as necessary.

    As well, many funerals over the years has taught me to appreciate the people that have passed on as they were and celebrate their lives. I don’t feel as much sadness as I get older, but happiness that I was blessed with their time.

    Friends do come and go, so it’s sure nice to see the whiteheads having fun together while they still can!!

  3. Let;s party! Do I consider myself close to a whitehead? My husband is 67 and I’m 62 in July. We’ve seen our share but not like these who you talk about. not with canes or hip surgery or oxygen. Yay age! Way to go!

  4. What a way to be in the present moment, to understand we all have went through some kind of pain, but the victory comes through learning, growing, and living again. Thanks for sharing!

    • thank u shayna. u caught us on a reflective day. great to meet u and thanks for commenting. i took a gander at your lovely site as well and am won-over by your service. God bless u w further reach to the people u hope to serve.

  5. Beautiful post, Sana. I love it.

    Just a note to say: your words are helping me a great deal right now. The mojo has wandered off somewhere and it’s wonderful to read such robust strategies every day. I am even putting them into action.

    I’ve never heard of self-care before: but it’s a great way of looking at our place in the world. Thank you for this lovely blog.

    • thank u sooo much kate for sharing that w me/us. i had no idea and value that u brought me w u to stand w you during this mojo-less time. that’s also cool to b a part of introducing self-care. your disclosure helps embolden me believe it or not. for some odd reason, ever day posting is something that takes courage! so thanks.

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