Self-Care Tip #191 – Do what you desire to get friendly with yourself.
What is your most core desire? I am learning more about mine.
I wonder at the improvement in my quality of life since blogging with you. It is More than the pleasure of writing; which I do love and have missed for years. It is More than the pleasure of being productive; a natural high for my temperament. It is More than the self-care tips listed off that roll back; a tide of all that is sent out comes in again to wash over me and change the shape of my life.
This morning I ran into a newer friend. We came into each other’s lives, catalyzed by the ingredient that this blog provided. I am sure I would not previously have allowed myself the pleasure of speaking with her for long without it. My temperament has always been a driving force that pushes me into “the barn.” I often miss the journey for the end. This is “The More” that has been given to me. Connection.
Now people actually look different. Despite years of medical education, years of psychotherapy and my years of life, I never saw people to the extent that I do now. Each of us here for a time with our stories, our pearls to offer and each of us with our essence to share for eternity. It is one more time for me when I am open-eyed, open-mouthed gawking at the thought of “The More” that is still coming. Better than this.
Think of your most core desire; what you are driven toward by biology, genes and higher intelligence. What has given you access to that? Now think about how to go for More. That is self-care.
Question: Oh, you know what I’m going to ask…
- Just to Feel Pleasure (friendtoyourself.com)
- What Is Happiness And Why Is It Good? (camelswithhammers.com)
- What Was Missing Was You (friendtoyourself.com)
- Most ‘locked-in syndrome’ patients say they are happy (scienceblog.com)
This is a brilliant idea of a blog! BTW: You would have a hay day with me! 🙂 I would keep your billable hours up for a long time. 🙂 Anyway, I think I have finally begun to switch gears in better self-care. Writing has been one of the outlets. I am a mother of two very young children so self-care always seems to take the back burner, but I am demanding myself to get serious about it. If you would of seen what I went through to even have these kids and what I did after my second, you would understand why I am so burned out. Thank you for just adding confirmation that I am not being selfish, but I am adding strength to myself so I can be what I need to be to my family and inner circle.
dear piece of the pie hole (doing a dance about that name!), thank u so much for reading and commenting! whoop! great to have u. i hear u on the mother w young kids thing. looking forward to hearing more of your story though. will read more of your excellent writing on your blog site to see what i can discover while i enjoy the verse. chin up on the self-care thing. hardest work ever. keep on.
My self care is writing and hiking…and a nice long hot bath at the end of the day doesn’t hurt.
i used to love baths…. ah.
My core desire? Hmmm. Well at least with addiction off my back and growing in the ability to manage that depression and anxiety I can think about the question with clarity. I know that reading and engaging in meaningful conversations on this blog and others I am changing, learning and redefining who I am for my self and with relation to others. What seems valuable is the engagement which makes me a different person than just the day before. Allowing myself the exposure to redesign or affirm ideas. I don’t remember the author of the phrase from grad school(Weber, Berger, ,,,,?) , but I see myself as “already but not yet” and my core value is allowing myself the opportunity to continue to evolve.
it is an honor to b part of your journey
My core self care happens in my kitchen, I think 🙂
Would love to have you at my table, to pour you a glass of wine and have you chop herbs while I cook, and chat for hours.
enormous compliment. keeping in my heart locket for a rainy day.
I’ve had to learn that self-care means finding a balance between reality and fantasy. My art is my escape. I once strived to be a Fine Artist by painting grungy flowers with oil paints on canvas… but that required a certain type of mentality that would interfere with my lifestyle. So I moved down to Crafts. Which I later realized is not a step down at all. I’ve learned that crafts require just as much skill and dedication, but includes a much more cheerful atmosphere. lol
Anyway, what helps me feel like me, and not just a mom or wife is working on my projects. If I work on my projects and my kids want to get involved, I let them. If I want to work on something that I want to do alone, then I wait to do it while they’re at school. I am so blessed to have a husband who supports and understands that I need that! lol
It’s nice to know that I can give myself permission to do something that makes me feel good, guilt free. And if I do feel guilty making a project, I end up giving it away. So everybody wins! lol
★ Jasmine Wilmany ★
jasmine, u r sprite-like in your joy and pleasure. love it. thank u very much for sharing w us. keep on.
Hey, crafts is not a step down. True won’t get you in a museum but will bring a most satisfying delight from those with whom you share. Poster art and being able to make dioramas and science project set ups makes me Michaelangelo and Da Vinci all in one in they eyes of my grandchildren, My favorite craft is carving 4 inch chessman in black walnut or cherry in a primitive viking art style. I have not worked on these in sometime. I takes at least 8 hours to carve a piece over several days and the wood is very hard and close grained so it takes a lot of energy and pretty well blisters up your hands and fingertips until you get re-callused again.
that i get better totley but i have decided aftera long while if i had the choice to have BPD or not to have the choice to have BPD i would keep it but manageball becuase i have found so many people with the same thing and the BPD community as a whole are pretty good peope the thing that i desire the most to want a woman to want me so mutch she will never leave me alone and allways be with me untill i die or and that god himself forgives me for everything that i have done wrong in this weird blog world i live in it real but its allso sureal in the real world i wish the blog world was the same as the real world where people have a chance and can think about things before they do them i dont actualy know what is driveing me at the moment i just keep going to fineally achive my goals in life
“i wish the blog world was the same as the real world where people have a chance and can think about things before they do them”
many of us feel the same way kevin. thanks for saying it. keep on.
We were best friends when we were in our late 20’s and early 30’s – just married, just having our children (her daughter born exactly a year after mine) and then they left and we lost touch. Today I had lunch with her. We’re both almost 70. I found her and her husband through Google. Amazing that we are all the way across country from where we met and now, again, only a few miles from each other!! We talked for three hours and, typical of me, I came home depressed. Such a close friend lost for so many years and we’ve picked up right were we left off almost a lifetime ago. So happy and, yet, so sad. So much to catch up on…so much to say…how much time?
My core desire? Connection. I realized today how very, very much I need connection. And, the strangest thing was that, as we parted with a promise to meet again next week (with husbands in tow), she told me how much she has needed to have a friend she can trust. Me, too….for what seems like a lifetime.
how many of us feel alone but are unaware about how connected we are.
really happy for your re-found friend ;). thanks for commenting w this part of your story. keep on.
I like the picture and word games. I think that the interaction with my son is the thing that help me stay focused on the journey rather than the destination. Sometime…. we even forget where we are going.
I’m really glad… oh shucks. just forgot what i was going to say, where i’m going and who i am. will someone help me?