Image by dfarber via Flickr
We are doing a narrative series on understanding where emotions and behaviors come from:
- Emotions Are Contagious
- Our own Emotional Junk
- Positive Emotions and Behaviors are Contagious Too (today’s post)
What we’ve covered so far in our series is that we know emotions are contagious and we know that if we take care of our own first, we might not be as “susceptible to contagion” in turn. Further we were left with the hope that if we do this, we might have the ability to choose to be with people we love even if they don’t do their own self-care and have that connection without personalizing what isn’t about us. Sigh. That is nice, isn’t it?
Yesterday, M in his usual gentle way, reminded us that contagious emotions might be effective for spreading more deliberately and more in the positive nature.
I am encouraged and hopeful. Being peaceful can be contagious too?
Then today I read a tweet about Chris Sacca’s commencement address.
presence -> sleeping well -> breathing *ahhh* -> embracing my weird self -> presence. Thx again @sacca So good.
Well worth my time! Sacca spoke about being a friend to yourself! Can you believe it!? …Ok. He didn’t say those words or mention this blog, …or me …but he may as well have! (Wink.)
If you listen, think and process, please tell. I would love to hear what you get from his speech.
…Did you catch the bit about start overs?! You know I love that.
Sometimes however, I am a real bore making this “friend to yourself” thing seem so dull and difficult. And M and Sacca are right! Peace and happiness are also contagious and a better effort. To get that, Sacca tells us to do some specific things. Did you catch them?
Question: What did Chris Sacca say that you find useful to friendship with yourself? or others?
Self-Care #269 – Positive emotions and behaviors are also contagious and are a better effort for your friend – You.
Having another child born, our hearts somehow open up and make more love, more space where things once seemed crowed up like hobos in a boxcar. Our time and energy does that too. Feeling like you can’t do another thing by 6 PM? Feeling like watching TV on the couch is an accomplishment at that point? I’m telling you that this changes. Do what you want. You may not realize it yet but you want something special. You want something that you were designed to do. When you discover what that is, activity becomes joyful, congruent with your inner self. Somehow there is more room in your day. More energy that comes with no strings attached.
My husband just came home from a tech conference. He was told by famous Silicon Valley junkies, while sitting in an audience of other wannabe’s, “Don’t do a startup. You’ll fail.” It was a secondary message that returned intermittently – unless you can’t sleep at night because you need to solve a problem – if you are trying to do a startup company for any other reason than for your own sanity, you won’t make it. These people were doing what they were doing because they felt like it was their life’s nectar. It was their pearl of great price. Their efforts were fueled by their own genetic design.
In medical school, I used to look around me confused by the obvious natural positive responses of other students. I looked at myself and thought I was a fake.
I looked at them and thought, “There’s the real thing. I wonder what it feels to be the real thing.” I know. Sad huh? Ah well. Turns out I’m a flaming extrovert. I get energy from being with people. Being alone takes energy from me. Wether it happens slowly or quickly, either way eventually I have to resurface and connect with someone to re-tank. Every day when I sat down to study, I felt alone, energy sucked out of me, the ground was going to swallow me up. And I did it still. Ground through my long hours long enough to make it to where I belonged. With you in psychiatry :).
Here’s the news. We are all “The real thing!” Yah! We have our own greatness.
I’m not talking about opportunity to reach that greatness. Some of that we are given and some of that we make. I’m just ringing our bells with the idea. If you want to read more about this, read the blog posts on temperaments.
Question: Are you doing what you want? Please tell me your story.
Self Care Tip #64 – There is room in your wanting self for more. Be a friend to yourself.