This is the skeleton of what we reviewed over three days of 1-2 hour workshop sessions (which ended last week.) We named these the unchanging premises of being a friend to yourself.
Everything starts and ends with Me.
Freedom to choose is here.
I can see Me using various paradigms such as the Jungian Typology and the biopsychosocial model.
These are tools, not boxes.
Me is never alone.
Essence is the part of Me that is timeless and unchanging.
There is our perception of reality – from the wind to the whim. Then there is Truth that like the other premises to self-care are not dependent on my beliefs, emotions or behaviors.
Questions: What do you think of these premises? Would you change anything?
Self-Care Tip – Know and name your premises to befriending yourself.
Having another child born, our hearts somehow open up and make more love, more space where things once seemed crowed up like hobos in a boxcar. Our time and energy does that too. Feeling like you can’t do another thing by 6 PM? Feeling like watching TV on the couch is an accomplishment at that point? I’m telling you that this changes. Do what you want. You may not realize it yet but you want something special. You want something that you were designed to do. When you discover what that is, activity becomes joyful, congruent with your inner self. Somehow there is more room in your day. More energy that comes with no strings attached.
My husband just came home from a tech conference. He was told by famous Silicon Valley junkies, while sitting in an audience of other wannabe’s, “Don’t do a startup. You’ll fail.” It was a secondary message that returned intermittently – unless you can’t sleep at night because you need to solve a problem – if you are trying to do a startup company for any other reason than for your own sanity, you won’t make it. These people were doing what they were doing because they felt like it was their life’s nectar. It was their pearl of great price. Their efforts were fueled by their own genetic design.
In medical school, I used to look around me confused by the obvious natural positive responses of other students. I looked at myself and thought I was a fake.
I looked at them and thought, “There’s the real thing. I wonder what it feels to be the real thing.” I know. Sad huh? Ah well. Turns out I’m a flaming extrovert. I get energy from being with people. Being alone takes energy from me. Wether it happens slowly or quickly, either way eventually I have to resurface and connect with someone to re-tank. Every day when I sat down to study, I felt alone, energy sucked out of me, the ground was going to swallow me up. And I did it still. Ground through my long hours long enough to make it to where I belonged. With you in psychiatry :).
Here’s the news. We are all “The real thing!” Yah! We have our own greatness.
I’m not talking about opportunity to reach that greatness. Some of that we are given and some of that we make. I’m just ringing our bells with the idea. If you want to read more about this, read the blog posts on temperaments.
Question: Are you doing what you want? Please tell me your story.
Self Care Tip #64 – There is room in your wanting self for more. Be a friend to yourself.