Stigma Can Hack At Us, But We Don’t Have To Lose Our Heads Over It

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A few days ago we wrote a blog-post entitled “Be A Tall Poppy.”  I had more than one person ask in comments and in person, what the —-! did that mean!

Why a poppy?  Why discriminate against the many other lovely but apparently unapplauded flora of the world?

What does it mean to “be a tall poppy?”

This referenced the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” of Anglosphere nations.  It tells us that culturally people who wear their accomplishments openly and indiscreetly invoke jealousy in others who then correctively cut the “tall poppy’s” down.

No offense to other buds around the globe, but when we say, “Be a tall poppy,” we say be yourself without the “discretion” of hiding your beauty – flaws and desired traits included.

We probably can’t change cultural opinion much if we don’t work with our own feelings of possible social rejection of making these changes in ourselves.  Being a tall poppy means that we will not be reduced by stigma and other forces; we stand tall and live.

In our blog-post Paging A Testimony, Nancy told us about her discomfort with the response of others to the way her improving health demonstrates itself and changes the dynamics of their relationship.  The balance of energy, power and involvement between her and others is in flux.  Her courage of prevailing through can be coined with, “Nancy is a tall poppy.”

Way to go Nancy!  Stand.  Cowing to those negative emotions is the same as cutting the poppy’s head off and stem left short.  Feel the tension, but stand.  Be present with your emotional responses.  Stand tall.

Self-Care Tip #279 - Be present with your emotional responses.  Stand tall.

21 thoughts on “Stigma Can Hack At Us, But We Don’t Have To Lose Our Heads Over It

  1. Why aren’t we cutting the tall poppy down in Afghanistan which exports 70% of the world’s opium? That leads me to conclude that the US government participates in…

  2. Inspiring post to start the day with.

    We use to say in sales “some will, some won’t, so what” about making a deal. I am going to apply that to those who hold stigma against us brain chemical challenged people.

    Off to my 1st PT to start another new chapter.

    I predict a good day ahead.

  3. Hi Doc having a really bad day today feelings of worthlessness and self loathing don’t like myself too much today thinking bad thoughts crying again am I ever going to get better

      • Becky just know that the brain chemistry causing this will eventually change for the better. I try to remember that it always does. Stay with it. It will pass. I wish you a swift change.

    • I’ve had lots of those days, Becky. I know how you feel. I know how scared you are. I also know that you can, and you will, have better days. I know, too, that sometimes it just doesn’t seem like they’ll ever come. Believe they will. Believe that you are cared about. Know that you are cared about here. Check in every day and see the caring grow for you and feel yourself caring for yourself. It works!! I pray for peace for you, Becky, and for a better day for you tomorrow.

      • Dear Becky, Please take note of the comments above. You will have better days. Maybe today! I am glad you are reaching out. You are not alone, there are many of us who have had times like you are having right now. Keep being gentle with yourself and be your own best friend.
        Take care, and know you are the light of the world.

  4. Thanks for the answer. I have to come to understand that you never write anything without a purpose. I knew a Tall Poppy came from somewhere important to you… Thanks, Marie.

  5. A syndrome well known in this country, Sana – prides itself on being egalitarian, until one sticks their head up above the rest, then watch those gardening shears come out! Snip, snip! :-) Actually, having lived and worked in more than one country, I’d say it’s alive and well everywhere in many western cultures as you have pointed out in your reference to Anglosphere nations. My vote goes to divorcing those friends who don’t have your best interests at heart and who cannot be genuinely happy for your good efforts/fortune, etc.

    • thank u bluebee for commenting! such a picker-upper to hear from u. yes. as i was reading up on the tall poppy syndrome to make sure i had all the details right i would type in one country’s name and cringe, change it to another, wince, and finally w anglosphere was at least able to press “publish” before i rolled into my grave. too funny! hugs

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