To my family and friends, I thought differently.
But since I’ve loved my flaws less harshly, like pointing jeweled fingers;
since I’ve fallen and let myself savor who I was just then, rasping throat from less than gentle sounds, beautifully broken down, a phoenix who was afraid and not afraid to die;
since I’ve been in the same room with myself, my smells, my dying cells, my mistakes and since I’ve loved these things – since then I have loved you.
I thought I was before but this is differently better.
I am loving you when you turn away and miss your opportunity to praise. I feel myself soften and think how you are mine.
I am loving you when you miss your self-care and come late and forget.
I thought differently before.
I thought I loved you more the other times, but this is.
It is better to see that you will never be who I expected and that you just missed the turn and won’t.
It is better since I have thought more of me.
And although this sounds off; a discordant honk in the culture score around us,
Although this is awkward showing my ankles exposed while I walk amongst tall-poppies, I even love that
and it is not to say I gloat,
just that I won’t run to hide behind my accomplishments
and won’t hide you behind yours. I love you more because there is more. This is differently better and I love you.
Self-Care Tip #278 – Be a tall poppy.