Anticipate Rejections – Normal And Part of Our Human Condition

Self-Care Tip:  Anticipate rejections and some in-between times, you will be chosen.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.

-Thomas A. Edison

Foto einer Glühbirne (an),

In today’s economic climate, we are given more opportunities to seek employment elsewhere.  Of course, “opportunity” is loosely used here and it might sound like I was playing Mad-Libs, a super game in fact so I’m okay with that.

But whether we are applying for employment or asking to be someone’s friend, or like Edison, playing – these various arenas of rejections are normal. They may feel particularly personal, but that’s a distortion.  They’re part of the human condition.  They come to us who do what we love, who do for well-evaluated intentions, who put out with courage and who put in 10,ooo hours.  They come to us who haven’t found what we love, who work for a martyrs salary or who do not have the privilege to go toward their temperament.

Rejections are.  They are like the surface tension, the space between water and air and they hold us together.

We love success and too often are like Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates.  We forget from sunset to sunrise what a day’s labor brought us before.  We forget easily.

But with Magic and Love, we can lose ourselves once again in the experience of doing what we love to do despite it.  We can remember better with the help of rejections.  Remember all sorts of things.  And without turning this into a script from Cheers, we can still say that rejections become the best parts of our life’s experience.

Those darn personalizations though, those distorted perceptions, those rejection-clots that cut off circulation – if it becomes that the space between water and air gets too thick, if rejections seem life defining, tell your physician about it.  It’s not “just the stress.”  It’s from the brain and might be a symptom of brain illness, much like achy joints and arthritis go together.

Questions:  How are you able to use the rejections you received to be friendly to yourself?  Please tell us your story.

18 thoughts on “Anticipate Rejections – Normal And Part of Our Human Condition

  1. I learned like Edison with years of rejections for my cartoons. I was not putting a border on the frame. I drew the size of the entire paper. They want 4×4 or 4×5 with frame border. The lines were not clear and uniform. Different type of pens rectify that and certain quality of paper prevents ink from smudging or bleeding. You don’t submit fishing cartoons to an aviation magazine. You don’t fold your drawings, you send in a large envelope so they remain flat. Now they want them sent digitally. Had to get a computer and learn to scan, save and send. Then there are programs to size and clean up drawings. All the rejections helped me improve and get polished. Now the rejections are for more sophisticated reasons. Ha ! Then I was determined to learn this blog stuff. Many subscribers are pro authors, writers , painters, photographers and graphic artists. It puts me in “a network” now for possibilities. Recently hooked up with 4 quality amateur cartoonists and we follow each other and comments are insightful. Sometimes the rejections speak to us saying “give up, this will not work” and that is true. Accept that. Other times it motivates us to improve. Often as well, the “rejector” does not see quality or is not worth having an association. Bottom line: be in the game, out of the game or change games. But be a participant until you wish and the possibility intersects.

  2. Perfect timing for this post as I was recently told that ‘my help is no longer needed’. Knowing that this comment was said out of frustration has allowed me not to take the comment personally, yet it has left its wounds. All to often we take ownership of problems or issues that we don’t create; that truly is the slipper slope. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not responsible for someone else’s irresponsibility, yet when you have a caring heart, sometimes your emotions take over good common sense.

  3. I am learning that even though my husband has rejected me and is leaving me, maybe it wasn’t the best relationship for me after all. Therapy helps!

  4. Great timing for this post. I had a conflict with a coworker but ended up walking off, talking it out with another staff member about the situation as well as my counselor. So I feel better about the situation. I ended up taking a scenic drive to get out into nature when I left work. Now I am in a better mood and feel like I am not taking what happened too personally.

  5. Rejection is just life’s way of showing you what you really deserve. Something better is right around the corner!

  6. In many situations, rejection just means you need to try harder. I learn that from all my rejections from the publishers. But, it’s okay, because a rejection tells me my story isn’t good enough yet, so I need to make some changes.

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