Hello. Your missing psychiatrist at hand. Missing you. Thank you for your presence despite the quiet.
Today I heard from a woman that anyone who has God in them could never kill themselves. Aside from all the obvious reasons that was so ignorant, she didn’t know what she was saying about who she believed God to be.
I wondered if you would tell me your opinion of what it says about who God is when we suicide?
If that’s not an important part of being a friend to Me, …
Be a friend to yourself.
If you believe in God, then you also believe God created man. Man also has free will, man also gets sick and mentally ill and sometimes, when pain exceeds your ability to cope, some in their dark state of mind arrive at the conclusion that suicide is the only way to end their pain and turmoil. Almost 90% of all suicides involve some form of treatable mental illness. Many who succumb to suicide are coming from such a dark, depressed and distraught place that unless you have been there yourself, or witnessed it with a loved one – have no clue what it is like to have reached this breaking point.
It sickens me to hear the judgement coming out of many overly zealous religious people. Many will tell you if you’ve got God in your life, then you’ll be okay. You simply cannot pray away depression or mental illness. It requires medical intervention, diagnosis, treatment with therapy and medication. To infer simple belief alone can save you is irresponsible and wrong.
God created those very same people who took their lives, regardless of whether they believed in God or not. I’m not religious but do believe in a higher power and believe that if you believe in God, then you must also realize God is all loving and non-judgemental. Unfortunately, many organized religions have been so twisted to reflect personal agendas and in many cases, expect their followers to stop thinking for themselves and take whatever is being thrown at them, that they blindly follow whoever is the head of their church and adopt their beliefs without question.
Many will tell loss survivors that their loved ones will rot in Hell if they die by suicide. Again no one knows for sure, but one thing I do know for sure is telling someone that, using that fire and brimstone fear approach does nothing but cause further pain to those who are already overwhelmed and suffering. Many churches/religions have changed their outlook on suicide, but there is still so much myth and stigma surrounding suicide, that when religion gets mixed it, it’s often not a supportive or positive thing.
Education is the only way I know of dispelling myth and stigma. This woman you connected with obviously needs to be educated, but it is often those with closed minded thinking that refuse to be educated. The “don’t cloud issues with facts” mentality.
It is not a sin to die by suicide, you will not rot forever in Hell doomed for all eternity to suffer. Those with mental illness and those considering suicide or who have already attempted and survived, require our compassion, understanding and help.
Lets face it Elijah, King Saul, Gideon, King David and others in the Bible were all in crisis. Elijah wanted to die after killing 400 prophets of Baal in 1 kings 19:4. There are other examples in the Bible of suicide. As Christians we forget that these were human beings who went through real crisis’s. Christians don’t have a real theology of the fact that God created this world on purpose with flaws in it. In my perspective, to have suicidal thoughts, and crisis thoughts are okay it is what we decide to do with them. One thing I like to do with those types of thoughts is to find a way to reach out, through a crisis line, my Facebook page, my new journal, or even posting things on a SW family page (exact source not stated). This is all my mind can be able to express right now.
I do not mean to make light of a very serious subject or to minimize. Just to point out my own folly : I was going to kill myself about 35 years ago. I went to a gun shop and saw the prices. $350 and up. I really did not want to spend that much money. Besides I would only use it once. I asked if I could just rent one for a day and naturally the reply was “Get outta here!” I started figuring this would buy about 50 fifths of vodka so I decided to drink for six more weeks and see how I felt about it. Hadda good time so I’m here. Do you think I need therapy ?
On the serious side I would not want to go through agonizing pain at end or life which would also take its toll on family. There are times of sadness, shame, hopelessness and desperation from which we can see no exit. I have experienced these and now after decades have passed I see the anxiety over some things was needless and magnified unreasonably. The Creator has His plan. If we take our own life is it part of his plan or a violation of the sanctity of life ?
They put me into the psych unit at 9:30 at night and closed the huge metal doors behind me. I’ve never been so terrified. At 8:00 the next morning my sister called to tell me that, if I were a real Christian, I would not be in a psychiatric ward. It was a long time ago and I have reconnected with her (for the most part) but the memory of the call will always make me tear up and cause my throat to close.
The point is, I AM a Christian, and, at that point in my illness, God was actually all I thought I had. However, as I became progressively more ill, I not only considered suicide but I knew how I was going to go about doing it, and the reason I could consider and plan how to kill myself then was that I was in such a dark place that I could no longer feel God’s presence. There is nothing more alone – at least for me – than life without God, so I saw no reason to live and no way to live and had no desire to live. I thank my God over and over now – sixteen years later – that He blessed me with my husband who, when he’d heard me threaten suicide enough, told me that he would get whatever I needed to kill myself but, while he was doing that, I had to call my two daughters and explain to them what I was doing and why. I never considered suicide again and every time that I think of those days, I think of my almost eleven year old granddaughter I would never have known….along with so many other blessings I would have missed had I given up on God when I couldn’t feel Him.
I know I’ve written about all or part of this story at least once on this blog site but I felt that it was important to repeat it because, yes, even with God in you, suicide is possible and I believe that God would understand (but with great sadness in His heart). I believe God gave me my husband to save my life. I pray for those who don’t have the help they need and I pray for those, like my sister, who still don’t get it. Understanding mental illness in our society is SO very, very important – for all of us.
Welcome back, Sana, my friend. We’ve missed you!
What does it say about, who God is? That’s a big deal when I think about what is friendly to Me. Thank you for spending some thought-bank on this readers/commenters.
I commit suicide = God is…
Is God as disappointed in Me if I die of pancreatic cancer as if I die by suicide? Can I put a number on it?
Assuming equal effort to engage in a relationship with Him and surrender/acceptance of His Love gift… Is God more connected to Me if I die by other-than-suicide causes than if I do?
What does it say about, who God is? Who is God?
Is God’s connection to me as strong as my breath? Does His care over Me remain when I choose not to accept life? When I die? Who is this God?
Thank you so much for sharing in these questions. Keep on.
Obviously, we over-thought this question. My belief is that God is Love – Unconditional Love – and, because I am loved by God, if I truely believe that I am loved unconditionally by Him, I can love myself, and, if I love myself, then I am well on my way to healing. Therefore, it is important to my mental health simply that God IS.
God’s character is, or is not reflected on by our moral or immoral actions? Who God is does or does not change per our behavior?
I don’t believe that God’s character is at all reflected in my moral or immoral actions. What I do reflects MY character, not God’s. People might think that what I do reflects who God is to me because they know – or think they know – what my relationship with God is, but I have no control over who God is or who His character is no matter how I act. God is who God is…not who I am.
Your point about what we do reflects on our character, and not God’s is one of the basic Christian beliefs that God’s love is unconditional. Like it 🙂
As a Christian I believe we have the Holy Spirit, God, in us. He is our Helper not our dictator. He will never force us to do or not do something. God is God. Whatever we do or do not do cannot change that. We are His children and He loves us. What we do or do not do does not change that.
You have asked a lot of questions I don’t have answers for but I have two questions. Why do people think of God as their equal, thinking and feeling and acting the same as they do? Does not the fact that He is God make that impossible?
Glad you are back and really like the new look!
Happy to see you in my inbox today, Doc Sana.
I’ve lost two of mine to suicide. After reading your post it occurred to me that they identified themselves as Catholic. I don’t know why I’ve never seen that difference between them and myself before.
My mom was Irish Catholic. She didn’t participate in the church. It was like a nationality to her. I won’t say she was rigid in her beliefs but she didn’t want them challenged. She would throw up the old “don’t talk politics and/or religion” point of view. I am sure she internally questioned her beliefs. Or the lack of them is probably more correct. But I guess the point is she chose to meet either her reward or doom on her own terms. She was a loving and affectionate mother to me and did the best she could. She had bipolar disorder. There were lots and lots of good times. And even when she messed up she messed up so spectacularly that even that seemed, if nothing else, outstanding. She once knocked down two telephone poles in the same car crash.
I was going to write a bit about my brother and his concept of god but it’s all too subjective.
In their end they must have believed some kind of peace was on the other end, even while getting there on the sin of flipping the switch themselves. And I know that idea went through their minds. I’m certain of it. The final one was not the first attempt for either.
I don’t know if God is a he, a she, a them or an “it”. I was amazed when I learned how similar the Koran and the Bible are but that did nothing to enlighten me. In the end I believe in love and I try to live my life accordingly*. I think the Sermon on the Mount and The Ten Commandments are good ideas and surely thunk up by minds more loving than mine.
Will any of it matter when I next feel the pull of SI? It’s hard to say for sure but I think so. When I’m not IN the ideation it’s like it doesn’t even exist. I can’t tell you what was going through my mind the last time I had a forced 72hr admission.
But my guess is since it is impossible for me to fully comprehend a creator (it seems equally impossible for me comprehend the lack of one) there is very likely a silent chatter that is lucid and telling me to get the help I need to pull me back from that edge. I don’t mean a cry for help but yeah, I admit I’ve done that. But I mean, like, I’ll be dead a long time. There has got to be more here I can learn here annow that won’t or can’t be learned in the same way in the unchanging. Like, time has ceased to exist. Time has a titanic effect on how I perceive things. So, like, if knowing for sure who or what God is means really KNOWING, then there is always something new to learn. So I take the steps and calmly walk in the VA and ask to be admitted, I get dragged there by a cursing impatient cop (who is cool enough to keep my record clean by tossing the two big fat fuzzy joints I had stuffed in my sock.)
Either way, 72hrs goes by pretty quick when the first 71 and a half have gone by and I realize I am alive because I start to notice things it seems I’ve not noticed since I was a child. I wake up, morning smiles and all that. No anti-depressants, they won’t give them to me, they make me go into a full blown mania. It’s the gift of contrast. When I am really happy I sometimes quickly thank all miserable times for it.
*Yes I stole that line from Iris but I mean it, notice the “try”. I was in a 12 step meeting once and said that as one possible concept of a higher power. Some person there kept giving me sour looks after and then openly mocked me in the lot. Asking like how I live my life accordingly to love. He caught me off guard, like on the spot or something. He comes to meetings about once a week but is still drinking and a little sloppy sometimes. And that perfectly acceptable. Only need a desire to stop but I right then I noticed a crushed up wad of cash peaking out of his shirt pocket. So, I told him he was going to drop that cash if didn’t secure it better. That was a answer to how I live my life accordingly. That was an answer to me! I then how easy it is to live accordingly. He didn’t get it. Like, he didn’t hear that as a answer as I did.
Then I told him if I saw a complete stranger on the bus and their zipper was down and they had broccoli in their teeth I’d gently tell them. He still didn’t get it. He called me “awful cute”, like, in a negative way, which I almost without thought replied “Yeah, I am.” which broke the tension as others were still around and busted out laughing at that. It made him mad but he was already mad anyway. I was still caught on catching sight of that wad of cash at that exact moment.
And living my life accordingly with a belief in love is so simple! I have to treat each encounter like it’s a test I need to pass. Like I’m being monitored. I keep a tape running in my head and have it set that I am being monitored, graded or whatever you wanna call it in every encounter I have. It’s the only dependable way I have found to ensure I treat others as I’d like to be treated. It took me a long, long time to see that that really even means something. Do unto others. So, I tried to do it on my own but failed more often than is reasonable.
Now I do things for people I’d never ever do in a million years if I wasn’t being monitored. Changed a flat tire and I don’t even have a car. Pushed a smelly man in a wheelchair a couple of dozen blocks out of my way. I don’t walk around actively seeking people to help but when they are there I don’t miss them either. And I live in downtown Portland so do the math right there and you’ll see. It’s got to the point where I will do anything asks me to do if it’s reasonable. So far, the “real” me and “monitored” me have agreed about what’s reasonable. It’s all balanced itself well.
I tried to explain this to a friend and it came out all creepy. It ruins it if you talk about it. Best to do it all as anonymous as is possible. Yeah, I know, but tapping this out is as next to anonymous as is possible. But with face to face person it sounded all 1984, Big Brother and paranoia. I guess. But it’s not like that at all. It’s just a way for me to remember that karma is a motherf&*cker.
But you already know what I mean, don’t cha?
I am not going to proofread this again. I am hypomanic at this moment and I will never get it posted or it’ll be a tome. I am pretty sure I rambled and it may appear to you that we don’t speak the same language in places. So, no more proof reading! I’m tapping “send” so it will get sent. I’m not drinker! I am hypo manic and it makes it hard (but so enjoyable!) to try to make a good communique.
“Some say that they’re comin’ back in a garden, bunch of carrots and little sweet peas.”
“I think I’ll just let the mystery be.”
Hey … I was hospitalized in April for severe anxiety,depression and suicidal thoughts. l was in so much pain despite having an abundance of support, that suicide seemed the only release. I spent ten days in a lock-down ward and did not mind removing the shoelaces from my converse or having my toiletries stored in a plastic bin and referred to a “contriband”. I became very adept at cutting chicken with a spoon. I am ashamed to say that the pain of my anxiety and depression went so far beyond my ability to consider the feelings of those who love me. It defies understanding unless you have been there yourself, and YES, I was told by a trained professional that someone who commits suicide “will go to hell”.
Those ten days kept me safe and allowed me to get the intense medical and psychiatric help I so desparately needed. After discharge, I went directly into a partial hospital inpatient program which gave me the ability to go home at night. My family watches vigilently over me. After several days in the program I had a mini relapse and was again hospitalized for 24 hours. I had to do some pretty fast dancing to get out. I promised my family that I would not isolate and that I would not stop talking. The word promise is sacred to me and so far has kept me alive. It is extremely helpful to be brutally honest, to say anything and everything that comes into my mind no matter how scary it may sound. It continues to be the one thing that helps me when the anxiety and depression come over me in waves!
I agree that mental illness in our society is neither considered a possibility nor understood, and most definetly not discussed over coffee at Starbucks. I share my mental illness (yes … I am mentallly ill) with very few. Just the writing of this is an exercise in anxiety and depression. I am getting better, but for me in this moment suicide is never far from my thoughts. I have been triggered, fallen face first into the hole that is my illness and managed to climb out. I fear the trigger that sends me over the edge. I too could no longer feel the hand of God on my shouder in my deepest despair. I know he brought me back to do good things and I am ready to entertain the possibilities. I am always connected to God despite my weakness. No one has the right to judge me and my illness. Leave it to God!
What does “awaiting moderation” mean?
I keep it simple. Sometimes the darkness consumes a person. They no longer can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a feeling of utter despair, and some conceal it better than others. It’s why it’s important to shed light on what is in the dark so that we can illuminate the way for those looking for a way out. I am not alone because of those that broke the silence and lit the way for me. I could not have done it alone. Thankfully, I experienced an interception. Some don’t.
I didn’t really speak of the God issue, because I am not a Christian. I just applied it to my spirituality 🙂
I like your name “Beautiful Mess” what ever religion, or how you choose to practice spirituality, we are all beautiful. Sometimes being a friend to yourself
means that we are sometimes in a mess, so we become a “beautiful mess”.
Interesting that this topic came up today as I was just reading a chapter in a book written by a pastor, whom I thouroghly enjoy, about understanding and overcoming depression. She talked about times in her life when she was so depressed that she felt suicidal. So she “gets it.” She mentions that at times when we have so many problems with our feelings is because some kind of chemical imbalance exists. No where, in this book or any of her broadcasts, does she condemn nor teach that a person will go to hell due to suicide. Instead she acknowledges that at times medication and hospitalization are necessary. She mentions that God never tries to take over our free will. And that the Bible teaches us that the Holy Spirit prompts, leads, guides, and directs us, But it never says that God tries to force or pressure or make us do something that we don’t want to do. So in our battle against depression and other negative emotions, one thing we have on our side is free will. However, this is just her teaching and I happen to appreciate her point of view. I also appreciate her teaching that a relationship with God, not religion, is what’s important.
That being said, no matter how my life has turned out to this point, I have only two options. One is to give up and quit, and I have definitely tried to take that road more than once. The other is to keep going. If I decide to keep going, again, I have two choices. One is to live in constant depression and misery. The other is to live in hope and joy. Today, I choose the latter. This doesn’t mean that I’ll never have any more disappointments or discouraging situations. It just means that I’ve decided to trust God to lead me through them. For me, that seems to work out better than when I try to handle things myself, without His guidance. I always end up falling on my face and getting all bruised and skinned up.
I’ve also come to realize that there must be some reason why I’m still here. Many times over I should be dead. I believe that I am indestructible (not in a superhero sort of way) until God’s purpose for my life is completed. He has a purpose for my life on this earth; and no matter what the obstacles, He will preserve me until my mission is accomplished. I guess that’s a long way of saying that I believe when your “number” comes up it’s your time, no matter the time, place, or cause.
Anyway, these are my thoughts and ramblings. For those who heard me out til the end, thank you.
I was learnt from being a kid that god forgives all. I have been re diagnosed not having BPD and not mental ilness. I think god is all around and if you do commit suicide if its for a good reason he will forgive you mind that does make me question why he would make you suffer maybe a test. I have split from louise and you know when she use to go back i use to pray to him for her to come back and it worked. I have a lot of feelings at the moment what i think i have been forgetting is myself for the past 3 years. In punishment i belive for all my ods i have dibetees type one now that really questions wether you want to live or die i now have the push button self destruct its messed quite a bit with my head i think rather than me being in love i wanted to fix something that was not fixable i have fixed myself and with gods help maybee it will stay that way.
Just a quick note. I started to briefly read the messages left. It makes me sad to see so many people write about judgement and mental illness and suicide.
We have free will. Its a gift God gave us. He wants us to come to him of our own volition. Not as an automaton. He desires a relationship with us built on trust, faith, love, he wants us to want Him. For all the right reasons.
Suicide. I grew up with a lot of suicide attempts and threats as a child. The only one left at home. For a small child it left an indelible mark on me throughout my life (I’m 50 now). I have had 3 different people come to me as a young adult that were suicidal. What’s that all about?! Part of me gets occasionally angry with suicidal people because of those experiences however . . . people in that place are wounded in their soul and mind and I have learned compassion. As human beings we are wired for life and healing, our bodies are healing machines. Anything other than that requires special attention and support to help the person and the people around them. Counseling and I say this tongue in cheek, better living through chemistry. I have a family member who has wasted (in my humble opinion) the last 3 decades due to depression and anxiety (which was diagnosed long ago) and they would not accept help. Now there is not much choice as they are 80 and so depressed. Hmmm . . . the medication is working and they are “back”. SO FRUSTRATING. But a reminder to the rest of us to allow the help and support and trust that others have our best interest at heart. Because in those moments perhaps we just aren’t capable of making those decisions.
Again though, free will. Love one another, lift our societal heads and have a look around at the world and the people in it. We are literally dieing out here from grief, loneliness, despair. A kind word or deed goes a long way. Because you never know what simple act of kindness will change the way for someone.
God is love and He Loves all of us. Period
@ Col-I pray every day that God will use me as a blessing in someone else’s life for that day. Sometimes all it may be is a simple smile. And I don’t need to know or gain recognition for that small act, as long as it was helpful to someone else. I just trust God to use me to do his will for each day.
being used in this way is something entirely different, isn’t it, than being used as our dark moments have shown us? the pleasure, the compliment, the response to being seen and found worth using – deep. thank u.
wow. we are aren’t we?
doing for others is kind to Me. keep on dear Col. your voice is welcome.
“Doing for others is kind to Me!” You are so clever! Thanks for the reminder
@ Col-I can relate to the part about being angry, at times, with people who are suicidal and those who actually succeed in their attempts. When I was a firefighter, my crew and I had a particularly rough day that was somewhat emotionally draining far all of us. We responded to three suicide calls that day, two of them successful. One was an 18 year old girl who was distressed because her parents refused to allow her to see her boyfriend anymore. While her family was at church she hung herself in her bedroom. When the family arrived home, her father was the one who discovered her and cut her down. When we arrived at scene her father was holding her, sobbing and begging us to save his little girl. It was obvious she was DOA, but for the family’s sake we treated her as if she were still viable. After the ambulance left, my crew and I stayed with the family and prayed and and held them while they cried until the chaplain arrived. We felt so helpless and were truly distraught for the family. The walk back to our engine was somber and we were all silent, wishing we could’ve done more, as we drove away. This had never happened with my crew before. We ended up returning to that house twice more that day as the girl’s mother had a heart attack and later the boyfriend’s family had arrived and his mother had fainted in the street.
The second incident was another hanging. Only this time it was the brother of one of our firefighters, on a different crew, and his crew was first to arrive at the scene. We were met outside by another firefighter to give us a “heads up” on who the patient was. Since it was considered a crime scene there were already several police officers there. Wanting to preserve their scene as much as possible for later evidence collection, they weren’t going to allow us to enter as there were already too many people inside. As you can imagine this didn’t sit very well with us. We were going in, regardless. As you can imagine it got a little ugly, but we got inside-not without consequence, though I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I was especially touched by this call. Several years ago my youngest brother died in a vehicle accident. The firefighter affected was one of my brother’s good friends and we had always been close since my brother’s death. I needed to get inside that house, at any cost, to be there for him. Again, this was an especially emotional call for my crew and we were deeply affected.
The third incident was another attempted suicide call. We couldn’t believe it. When we arrived at scene the patient was fully conscious and alert. She told us she had taken her whole bottle of antidepressants-about an hour ago! And she had an “attitude.” Needless to say she got no sympathy from us. We told her about the previous two calls and in no uncertain terms advised her about other resources she had available to her prior to her attempted overdose. We explained the devastation of the other families and how traumatic their losses were. We were all extremely annoyed, right or wrong. Our thoughts at the time were, “Are you kidding me!? You waited a whole hour to call us!? And you’re feeling absolutely fine right now!?” We treated her according to protocol but we made it understood, in no uncertain terms, we were not happy. We felt it was a pretty lame attempt to take her own life after after the previous two calls we’d been on. Unprofessional? You bet it was! Did we feel bad when we left the scene? Not at all. We relished in the fact that she would be enjoying a lovely charcoal shake while enroute to the hospital.
The point of all that was that I understand the anger felt towards others when they attempt suicide. Due to my own attempts, I now can be empathetic to both the patient and to the family. I understand the deep despair of those who attempt to take their lives. But I also understand the devastation for those left behind. Just something to think about.
After 22 years of running calls, very few days remain so vividly in my mind. That day was one of them.
not many of us have this insight, experience and growth. i’m glad u spoke.
WHOA and then some. Thank you for your powerful story. You poured your whole self out and I am hoping some of it will stay on these pages for you.
Just so you know myself and many people pray as soon as we hear sirens. In the middle of the night, during the day, whenever. We pray for the drivers to get out of the way, for all the crews to be safe and for all the people at the accident site to be safe and feel God’s peace.
Our daughter was hit by a pick up truck several years ago. She was 13 and seized at the scene. Accelerated brain injury.
Our lives became a who new normal. The emergency crews were amazing. I have only one fire fighter to thank personally, and he was the one that held my hand while the Head Paramedic told me the news. You could have heard a pin drop.
Its hard for me to even write this. Needless to say she just graduated from University with a History Honors Degree with a Minor in Spanish and plans are for a Masters in Archival Studies. She is a well published journalist and is working on a novel. She is self sufficient and pays her own way and lives her own amazing life. Trust me if there was someone who could have gone another way it was her. GOD DOES GIVE US MIRACLES!
A few years ago we were decorating the Christmas tree and having a festive evening after dinner. My brother in law had been invited and it was obvious things were not “right” which is not so new for him. Part way through the evening he informed me with our younger daughter standing (14 maybe) that he was on suicide watch. WHAT! I got so angry and asked him not to discuss this in front of her. His reply “I don’t care if she knows!” I told him I did and it was not the place to speak like that in front of her. There we were in our Christmas jammies with the fire going and the carols playing and he pops out with this. Kind of reminded me of your last call as the young woman was sitting there “waiting”.
I have watched my mother (when I was 10 onwards) do some pretty horrific things around suicide and watched others as well. I understand that things are not okay, however, you can’t hold the rest of us hostage. Its not fair.
How do we know when we are in our insanity what that looks like? Well, when a teenager drinks a bottle of vodka and duct tapes a bag around their head you can guess they are pretty serious.
My heart breaks for our youth. I have been blessed in my job to occasionally teach relaxation and meditation classes at the local high school. I talk about stress with them, and their bodies, and how “plugged” into electronics we are and how we don’t even know our own minds any more. The stress on them is profound.
Stress, anxiety and depression.
For all of the loses you have seen – I am so sorry. For all of the prayers you have said to comfort yourselves and other – I am profoundly grateful. May Grace continue to see you through each day. And for all of you in health services in whatever form, Thank You for the amazing job you do for each one of us.
Thank you so much for the prayers from you and others. And thank you for being brave enough, trusting, and kind enough to share your personal experiences. I am sorry you had to go through those times. What an absolute blessing and miracle from God for you and your daughter! Bless you in the work you do with our youth. Keep on.
This subject has made me realize how precious my belief in God is. I know I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and is aware of me personally. I know I have a Savior who has come to this earth to show us the way back to the Father. Our Savior atoned for our sins, our pains, our illnesses. By atoning for all of this he became our mediator with the Father and our way to return to the Father through the precious gift of repentance. He has paid for us so he is the only one that can judge us honestly. The Lord has given us all our agency to live our lives as we want to. Sometimes mental illness or other problems can push us over the edge. I am so grateful that my Savior is the judge of all of us, even those who have taken their own life because he has been where we all have been and will be and has suffered for our pain with us. He loves us all, even those who take their our lives. This is what I believe.
pat, this was awesomeness to share w u. thank u for speaking.
Amazing question, Sana, thank you for asking this. Strange: last night I was at an opening night at London’s Science Museum, where an exhibition about Alan Turing was being launched. A genius who took his own life using cyanide. It makes me sad, but I can only conclude that if God’s love stopped with death then his son would have been in a sticky situation. But according to Christian chronicles he has conquered death: and so I want to believe he was there with this extraordinary man not only at the end, but past it. For is our God a slave to time? I think not 🙂
I’m all a-shivering Kate. So beautiful n articulate. U.