These topics that we take coffee breaks over; loneliness, selfishness, God, sleep, medical, these are common enough, no?
The idea at, Friend to Yourself, is that these ideas are all common and in-common. They all start and end with Me.
The irony of loneliness being common enough for books to sell on it! Laugh about it a little. Don’t you want to shout out in the self-help section of the book store, under L’s, “I feel lonely!”? And then you wake up from the zoning-out moment and realize people take turns apparently to peruse. That must be the “why,” in why no one is standing there with you. But what if we just said it. If we told our kids, for example? “I feel lonely.” Someone in the cashier-line who notes your book? “I feel lonely.” What if we told? Someone. We would be kinder to Me than staying quiet. It starts with Me.
Loneliness in company is ironic but not exclusive.
Or take the topic of selfishness.
Self-care is now becoming so politically correct. It’s losing its potency. Comparing self-care with selfishness isn’t even provocative any more. Snore.
But what shall we use to describe the prejudice against us? Even from ourselves to ourselves. Where shame wires in is the button. So as it turns out, I am selfish. I am. But taking care of Me is more than that. Self care is more than selfish care. It is selfless. Ironic. It is different than altruistic. I can’t give what I don’t have. Self-care is homage. Homage to Who made Me. It is worship. It is respect.
Is there anything more disrespectful to those we love than giving them a whole lot of care-giving labor without asking them permission? I love you therefore you get to tk care of me because I never did.
It is freedom. It is power. Self-care is humility.
I am not a just a noun. I am movement. A verb-noun. We can’t get polite about self care. We can’t be PC. Rip the rug out, fall on our knees, and scramble. It is marvelous to move. Self-care is selfish and selfless. Dichotomous but not exclusive.
The distance, the aloofness, the academia with which we mouth, “Selfishness,” as if it were a bobble to teethe over and spit out, mouth again, and let it fall to the dirty floor. As if it weren’t part of us. …If we describe it just right, we can pull it out. A foreign object.
We here at, Friend to Yourself, speak. But we do also. How do these break room topics become more than the words? They all start and end right here, with Me. That is how.
Another coffee room topic we are awkwardly polite with is the “God” word.
I have never been someone who could quote Bible verses. Some mistake this for unfamiliarity and disuse.
Maybe they’re the same ones who think self-care is as proper as saying, “women have rights,” who took “gay” and made “same-sex,” or those who enjoy writing up packets of hospital procedure for admissions but have no idea about sickness.
I’ve been this person one time or another too. The one who handled self-care so much that it lost its shape. Who forgot that the whole point is Me.
It is the disconnect between Me and these as topics; God, selfish-care, loneliness. They are not topics if they are of full use. They are not the same as a travel game. Open up. Play around. Lose a piece. Shelve it. Clean out and send to charity.
Bring something out as sacred, sensitive, vulnerable and personal as loneliness with common frequency, will bring loneliness into company. Ironic but not exclusive. Enough to join the perception of ourselves with our life journey. Freedom.
Each one of these topics is good for a book of their own. But we don’t want to talk about any of those if we lose Me. It’s not functional. It loses context. Discussing marine biology at a bridal show. Interrupting a friend telling you about her soccer goal, with an observation about dark matter at the Exploratorium exhibit. It’s interesting in a state of disconnect only so much as anything is out of context. This is why I think bringing them together and finding the Me in the beginning and end of them is a great way to look at self-care.
Self-Care Tip: Name it. God agrees. :0 (That was forward!) Start and end with Me.
Question: Challenge yourself. Challenge us. What doesn’t start and end with me? Why? Please tell us your story. We need to hear you. Keep on.