Misty sounded relieved,
Yes. That’s it.
She had just realized that life isn’t fair. Sure. She knew that before, but she just realized what she knew. Don’t we all love that moment when our senses join up – sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell, emotion, intellect, spiritual and the rest. That is a lot to coördinate after all and sometimes some of them don’t make the train.
Misty was a single mom of three. Her ex-husband was what she called, “Disney-Dad,” and her kids relished their time with him. Misty complained that she didn’t get to spend the special times with her kids. She mainly took care of them, but missed out on irresponsible fun. She was sure her kids wouldn’t look back and think of her like they would their father. She was getting angrier about it all the time, ruminating about it and it was getting in the way of her ability to connect with others and feel pleasure. There it was in front of her blocking her from seeing her kids even, let alone herself.
Then after weeks of this along with medication and talk therapy, she told me,
Yes. That’s it. Life is not fair. There are many other things in my life that aren’t fair either and if I look for them, I could spend my whole day every day counting them off.
It broke my heart a bit to hear her and see her there. Humble like that; she would I think affect you the same way. So real.
Yesterday, Carl D’Agostino replied to our post about growing our understanding of our choices beautifully.
…we wait until we are at our wit’s end before we seek assistance…. considering reaching out as personal failure or inadequacy re: our own self-esteem…. Foolishly we wait until our way just is not working anymore. That is why AA calls this a gift: the gift of desperation. …For many, the depths into which we have succumbed are now found not to be so deep at all and in fact, ladders are readily available if we use them in recovery.
Ah Carl. Say it again.
The gift of desperation.
Too good. Don’t you think?
Questions: Have you ever received the gift of desperation? What did it bring you? Where did it take you? What did it do to you? Do you still have it? Please tell me your story.
Self-Care Tip – Celebrate your gift of desperation.