Day: March 23, 2011

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Where Does Courage Come From?

I want to do that, but I have no idea where I’m going to find the courage!

This is real folks.  People think this, say this, believe this and behave accordingly.  The other day, a young woman in her forties with a rolled scroll of precious problems including joint disease, extreme morbid obesity, nicotine dependence, depression, anxiety, obstructive sleep apnea, eczema, gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), heart palpitations, diabetes, hyperlipidemia and polycystic ovarian disease – this woman told me these words.

I have no idea where I’m going to find the courage!

Where does courage come from?  Is there an odds ratio, statistics, intuition barometer or what?  Where do we find courage?  (I am remembering the dear Lion in The Wizard of Oz.)

I see courage coming from our ability to make decisions.  Being able to decide comes from many paradigms, including my favorites as broken down through the biopsychosocial model (listed in no particular order):

  • Biological – temperament (genes or personality,) mental health/brain health (the brain being the organ we use to make decisions with,) developmental (the neurodevelopment of the brain is different at different ages,) things we put in our body (diet, illicit drugs, alcohol or nicotine,) medical illnesses, sleep issues, exercise, rash, ingrown toe-nail….
  • Psychological – self-control, coping skills, catastrophizing, negative thinking, thoughts, emotions, and behaviors….
  • Sociological – culture (including home, religion, race, gender,) stressors on our body, social support, God, interpersonal relationships (friends, marriage, kids, colleagues,) parenting, unemployment….

(WHEW!  Recovering my breath.)

Where do we find courage?

I drew a picture in the air for her psychological self,

17th century

Image via Wikipedia

I see you 100 pounds lighter, not smoking for the past six months at least, off of six of your twelve medications, your medical problem list shortened down to two or three.  You are able to feel pleasure again.  It is a real option for you.

If you don’t, I see you growing demented, paralyzed and dying from a heart attack.  I can’t say when these things will happen but they will happen if you don’t start taking care of yourself.

Where does courage come from?

For her biological self, I targeted the language of her temperament.  I remembered that we make decisions either through thought or feeling.  She was a “Feeler.”  I drew forth my light saber and went for the emotions.

You can do this!  Think of the gift you’d be giving yourself and to those you love.

For her sociological self, I talked about everyone in the family choosing with her, including husband.  Talking about how this changes the family culture, not to smoke together, setting boundaries with her husband to care for herself and thinking about getting other support networks like starting to go to church again or calling her pastor.

Question:  Where does courage come from for you?  Please tell me your story?

Self-Care Tip – Use your biopsychosocial model, that is to say all of what makes you you, to find your courage.  Be a friend to yourself.

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