The conflict of perfectionism v.v. passive surrender of ourselves to ourselves.
Yesterday we talked about enjoying our failures. That might have pushed a little much. But who doesn’t nurse their failure more than their success? Who doesn’t remember their hurt in life more often than their pleasure? It can be confusing.
This friend we call, Me, pushes us and holds us back. But that is not said well enough. This description implies ambivalence – two strongly opposing forces in opposite directions. Amidst all the push and pull, we can get confused. We work so hard on our behalf that we forget we were born flawed and will, at every step of life’s journey, have a constant relationship with imperfect behaviors and emotions all the while having hope for what is better.
I remember in Tron: Legacy that Flynn explained that Clue was created to build the perfect world. When things became bad and Clue was blamed, Flynn the Creator essentially said,
He’s just doing what he was designed to do.
Clue, in the name of going toward what was considered perfect, began annihilating everything and everyone that wasn’t programmed right. Clue was baffled by his Creator’s disagreement and in the end destroyed them both.
Clu: I did everything… everything you ever asked!
Kevin Flynn: I know you did.
Clu: I executed the plan!
Kevin Flynn: As you saw it…
Clu: You- You promised that we would change the world, together. You broke your promise…
Kevin Flynn: I know. I understand that now.
Clu: I took this system to its maximum potential. I created the perfect system!
Kevin Flynn: The thing about perfection is that it’s unknowable. It’s impossible, but it’s also right in front of us all the time. You wouldn’t know that because I didn’t when I created you. I’m sorry, Clu. I’m sorry…
We, like Flynn, forget that our beauty is the constant relationship between going toward that which is better for us and allowing for our limitations, regression and failures. These forces don’t have to be opposing. Our life is more than an allowance for betterment and foibles; it is a position of value and respect to both. There is this wonderment that we can in all this chaos be what we should be, now, but still in process of change. We are all these things and Me, our friend, loves that.
Questions: How are you doing with your Me who struggles for the whole of you? Are you able to join Me? What limits you? Please tell me your story.
Self-Care Tip #274 – Love what keeps you from your goals and what gets you there without ambivalence.
- Perfectionism Is Poison (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)
- Good Perfectionism versus Bad Perfectionism (psychcentral.com)
- Is Perfection even desirable? (psychologytoday.com)