Safety in Connections With Others

Nami 01

Marcy came in looking like a question mark.  Despite her gorgeous face and swank, she still looked uncertain.

Marcy was born into chaos.  Get this.  Her father who spent her whole childhood using drugs, alcohol and strange women, who was emotionally and mentally absent most of her life, who is possibly still using, is the one person in the whole world Marcy calls her confidante.  “He gets me.  I can really talk to him.  Even my husband doesn’t understand me like he does, you know, emotions.”

Marcy, despite years of fear, panic attacks, the survivor of abuse and neglect was clinging to her dad.

Marcy was lost in the headlights of the oncoming life.  She thought after having spent her entire life afraid, it was time to heal so she though she’d give medication therapy “a try.”

After initiating medications for Marcy’s post-traumatic stress disorder and after her panic-attacks stopped, Marcy started attending NAMI.  What a believer in NAMI she became!

They just make it easy for me to talk about myself, say things I can’t even tell my husband, and they know what I’m going through.

Listening to her talk about them was letting fresh air into our room.  Hope floated in.  Now Marci doesn’t believe that her dad is the only one in the world she can connect with at this level.  Now Marci does not feel as alone.  Why?  Because she went and got connected.  She whacked through the briar hedge of misperceptions, biases and insecurities between her and others.

Marci still thinks largely of her father, but he’s not the only one.  He has some competition to the throne which means, Marci has a better chance of being influenced by someone healthier.  Rather than attack Marci’s attachment with her Father, NAMI is giving her more to fill her heart with.

Self-Care Tip #285 – Find safety in healthy connections with others.

Questions:  When have the connections in your life saved you from warped views?  How do you think we could do better with this?  Please tell me your story.

17 thoughts on “Safety in Connections With Others

  1. Hard to believe, I guess, and maybe rather pathetic, but until this blog site became a part of my life, I had few, if any, connections that saved me from warped views or from myself. With this blog site, I have been able to “talk” about things that I have never felt comfortable sharing with people, other than a therapist, who know me. I feel safe here, and I’ve also learned a tremendous amount about Me and about how to take care of Me.

    I wish others would enter into discussions more on this site, though. Hearing what others say and how others feel is so helpful to those of us who haven’t felt connected before. As “kateshrewsday” said above, “we need to connect with others day-to-day”. We are so blessed have this site as a day-to-day connection. We all need to take advantage of it more often.

  2. I’m still trying to find healthy connections both within myself and with others. But until I learn to forgive and accept that I can’t change the past, I will never have this. I have a handful of really close friends, but none that understand fully (honestly, I’m glad they don’t fully understand because then, that would mean they are struggling too).

  3. Pingback: Safety in Connections With Others | Kids say :

  4. I don’t have an answer for this. I have used many different groups and a variety of social media to connect with others. I have two strong connections, one with fiance JR and the other my daughter. There is not one source that I cling too, except myself.

      • Okay, I have an answer now… through therapy and much reading I’ve learned that my mental health is more important than any relationship, and that it is alright to distance myself from toxic situations and toxic people. Prior to that, I used to feel badly about myself for not wanting to be involved in those relationships.

  5. It is certainly important to connect with others, but it can be hard finding the right people. I have a couple people I can depend on, and luckily, I also have God, so I know that no matter what happens, there’s always someone I can lean on. Also, God’s the only one that can fully understand me. It’s good to not be alone.

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