If you have been around kids much you may marvel as I do, how fast they dish revenge. I’m here to tell you, if you eat food off of my son’s plate, you should run. Yet, seeing my or your four year-old hit someone is much less awkward than seeing an adult do it. But they do.
Ingred told me that she had been humiliated at the make-up counter of Sephora. A stranger had called her a bad name. The stranger said it loud enough that other customers and staff heard it too, Ingred was sure.
“I just told her to go F— herself!”
Unfortunately for Ingred, she was soon escorted out of the store by security who didn’t care about Ingred’s story and just wanted to keep the peace. Also, unfortunately for Ingred, she essentially absolved the stranger of what little remorse she may have felt before Ingred retaliated. Ingred essentially dissipated the natural introspection that comes to us after we misbehave, the natural drive to right our wrongs and the self-care that that stranger was due for. Ingred had “paid the price” for both. Ingred made herself the scape goat.
Ingred needed to buy into this concept but also that for her, everything starts and ends with Me. Like us, Ingred takes care of her own feelings and behaviors to get friendly with herself. Taking revenge, getting even and responding by acting out we are trying to take care of their feelings and behaviors. That’s not friendly to Me.
Inversely, if Ingred, or my four year-old son, had owned their feelings as their own, been accountable to their shames and angry selves and adapted to this stressor, they would have … Well you tell us.
Questions: What has happened to you in these situations? And how do you take care of your own emotions and behaviors, and account for them even when you perceive that you are provoked. Please tell me your story.
Self-Care tip – Revenge isn’t friendly to Me, but being accountable to why we want revenge is, so try it out.
- Revenge smells like a hamster by Russ (letpeoplepoems.com)
- Let Him “Save Face” Because it is Friendly To Yourself (friendtoyourself.com)
- How sweet is revenge?! (sensuality4u.wordpress.com)