This is a slight remake from 7/25/10. Hugs to all.
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When you feel the pull to do something that isn’t good for you, turn away from it
. Do something that you can stand doing at the moment that won’t make you hate yourself now or later.
In the evenings, when the kids are just in bed, the backlash of the day seems to have a few last flicks. Despite the anticipated quiet, my shoulders are tight. Dusk, when the land meets the sky, is when I feel like eating …chocolate specifically.
I purposefully don’t bring it home, except the darkest chocolate sold with over 75% cacao for this very reason. It’s so dark, it’s practically bark.
Home is my safe place and I need to know that it is as safe as possible, even from me. I used to bring treats home that were to be eaten in moderation, but I found that when the monster in me crept out. I’d board myself up in the pantry and polish it off. That would turn me to self-loathing. It was a cycle. I got tired of being my enemy and knowing what was coming next.
Now, I choose to simply go out for my chocolate. I eat what I want when I’m out, when I’m less likely to eat myself into despair. Now, when I’m home, I can pick a different fight rather than fighting the urge to closet eat. Home is a little more safe for me.
Tonight, the kids went to bed ok, but I still took my turn around the fridge and pantry, even though I knew there was nothing, absolutely nothing, I’d want to eat in my house. I am in danger now of developing something of a ritual in this rummage around the kitchen. The good thing is that when I do make the turn, it leads me to the thought of just going to my bike and riding. Tonight, after a 30 minute spin, while watching the last 1/2 of the première to Glee, I am good again. I’m thinking about the muscles in my legs and the way my body doesn’t walk as heavy as it used to and I feel good about myself. Just like that, I feel a little less self-loathing. I feel more safe.
Self Care tip #1 – Run away before you self destruct. Be a friend to yourself.
Questions: Have you found a safe place? What is keeping your home safe for you? Please tell us your story.
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Friend to Yourself 
Great post I all ways look foward to reading them 🙂
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what a gesture, digging up one of my crusted old posts to read. thank u darcy. and for your support. i’m taking an extra feel-good breath now, knowing of this force of encouragement about me. keep on.
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Brilliant today, Doc 🙂 You described me in your post! Loved the way you handled it. My turn now.
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I enjoyed your blog very much. Wonderful to find a caring professional that blogs about how to deal with chocolate issues! I may have to write a story about chocolate( fudge) myself…
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My home is my save place, but I have neglected it in the last few months. I see a parallel between my refusal to tend to my home and my increase tendency to reach for sweets (I have put on a couple of pounds). I need to substitute those sweets with other more sensible foods that can be eaten as a snack like apple sauce, yogurt, string-cheese, etc. Those I can live with.
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It’s so hard to keep the chocolate and candy obsession out of my house…..my bf’s mom works for MARS Canada…yes, as in the chocolate bar company! I’ve never had so much free chocolate in my life!
Although strong contenders, chocolate and candy, are unfortunately not the worst of my self destructive habits. I have to work on that.
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Keep the chocolate in the nightstand, the dresser, or in the desk. Then it is no longer “closet eating”. That was simple.
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The higher thinking of intelligence
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I used to eat sweets more and drink a can of Pepsi a day, but now I’ve been better. Now I drink soda much less, I don’t snack much anymore, and I can resist sweets a lot better. I still need to work on it, though. My mighty self-hate whenever I give in to unhealthy foods helps me to be better. And my huge fear of health problems.
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great to hear duck. your bones will thank u too as we can get osteoporosis from carbonation.
might ducks need mighty something for that mighty self-hate – let me know what salve u happen upon. hugs
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