Katalyn was forever bewildered by the contrast between the success of what she called her life and the failure of her relationships. As the assistant to the director of Polk Hill’s only advertising firm, she knew everyone. She was a blooming flower, her petals unfurled and her ability to know just where to turn the pitch was like opening to the sun. She had talent. But more than that, Katalyn was a darn good worker.
Sitting across from me in the couch chair, her long and graceful fingers tapped the chair arm as if they were used to keeping time with her moving thoughts. “Here it comes,” I said to myself, and tried to relax into the complexity of her story.
“Why am I alone? Why aren’t I in a relationship?”
Katalyn chewed her lip and blinked a little faster. “I will not cry!” I could almost hear her mind say.
Time cracked open there into reflection.
We all have this dissonance in our life story. We make our choices with where we put our hard work. But we leave our fantasies disconnected from this investment of ourselves. We think that fantasies, (fantasy as in: contemporary, epic and/or paranormal – not necessarily fish-net hose,)… We think that fantasies should materialize via magical forces rather than deliberate efforts. Irony, again. Qualifying accessibility to our fantasies, (or we could say, wants,) this way verses to what we think is real is our own doing.
Reminds me that we treat our loved ones worse than any stranger. Put our best years and best hours of the day into impersonal labor, we give this way. We think the least of our own beauty, success and intrigue, and the most in those we know little about. Then we wonder about the disconnect.
There is something raw and vulnerable about showing our wanting to ourselves. It is one thing about our wanting in privacy, a place of personal ridicule and shame, and it is another to want in public life-process.
Imagine if Katalyn deliberately allowed herself to relax into her wanting at work as well as in privacy. What would happen? How would she do that? What is the worst that could happen?
Imagine Katalyn as a woman who fantasized as she worked hard. Would her work experience be different? What would happen to her quality of life? What would happen to her perception of reality?
Self-Care Tip: Let your wanting, (or we could say, fantasies,) out into public.
Questions: What would be different in your quality of life experience if you deliberately included your wanting into what you perceived was your reality? What would happen if you worked hard to bring those together? Have you seen this at work in your life? Please tell us your story.