First, allow transparency.
Second, practice the Three C’s – I didn’t Cause this, I can’t Control this/him/her, I’m not responsible to Change it/him/her.
Third, use the Three C’s to practice presence with yourself and within the connection you seek – interpersonal or otherwise.
Fourth, move into pursuit of “Quality of Life” – what increases your quality of life experience.
Be a friend to yourself. It starts with Me.
Question: Does any of this feel kind and in the interest of you? and thereby, others? Please tell us your story.
What Was Missing Was You 2011/01/28
Thank you, Carl. You too, friend!
I was 74 when I read the book, The disease To Please. It helped me a great deal because I was a passive people pleasing guy. It actually worked for me in a way. I saw the truth and tried to become more assertive. I had an unintended consequence—I went into a volcanic rage in a parking lot–a first for me and it scared me. I am still mostly passive, but I think the book helped me.
What you are teaching here is true and very good. I hope some much younger people figure this out.
It may or may not apply here but this posting made me think of the Serenity Prayer. For those not familiar here it is:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.