It’s Time To Grow Up




Fragile Annie writes a blog called, “It’s Time To Get Over How Fragile You Are.”  Isn’t that a great name?  She own’s her frailty, own’s that it has affected her life, and own’s what it’s time to do now.  All in a name and a title.

When I was in psychotherapy, talking on about injustices suffered, my feelings, the rightness of my condition – my therapist said, “It’s time to grow up Sana.”  I still feel the punch in my stomach and the quiet immediately following.  I couldn’t breath for a bit.  Just nodded my head.  “Ok.”  …I said, “Ok” a few times.  I don’t remember much else of what he told me but I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.  He’d be satisfied with his work with me if he knew.

After all, it’s not such a small thing to grow up, or “get over” our frailty.  It’s not such a small thing to see our need.  It’s not so little to act on it.  These are things that champions do.  These are things any coach, parent, therapist, teacher would be proud to be a part of.  These are the things that make the difference between falling victim to your history, or claiming the rights to your now and to your future.

Think about what is upsetting you the most.  What seems to keep at you and trip you and keep you back and keep you right where it left you last?  It’s time to grow up.

Self-Care Tip #106 – In Fragile Annie’s own words, “It’s time to get over how fragile you are.”  Be a friend to yourself.

Question:  What has knocked your breath out in a good way, sending you off towards growth?  Please tell me your story.

14 thoughts on “It’s Time To Grow Up

  1. I was fired from the only job I have really excelled in about 10 weeks ago. It was sort of a ‘career ending’ termination. It is forcing me to pull up my big girl pants and figure some things out, pronto fast. Great post, and well-timed.


    • Good luck! Your post caught my attention because I have been in a similar experience and have handled it two different ways. If you can relate… great. First, cut from a job “needed’ to get another one quick and did so… not a great job and made me resent lots of people and things. Second, position eliminated… decided to take a month long vacation…. had no money, couldn’t go anywhere, didn’t look like a good decision going in… lived on unemployment for a month and did all kinds of things that cost no money along with the people I love. Everyone was happy and have great memories. No one even complained about the limited number of ways romen noodles can be prepared. Started looking, turned down two jobs that I would have accepted a month earlier and waited just long enough to get offered a great job that I love and still have today. Just my experience, for what it’s worth.

  2. Ok. I’ve just spent the last 30min scouring your blog. I couldn’t stop myself. Girl, you can write! I admit, curiosity about what job you did and which bongos would let you go, motivated me some. But mostly it was your candid articulate insights.
    Coming from you, your comment felt like a bouquet of flowers. Many thanks for reading and such. Would luv to hear more in time. Keep on!

  3. I’m 47 and in the throes of a personal shift of cosmic proportions, so it is fantastic to discover your blog. Going to spend my morning here and catch up with your writing.
    Thank you!

    • made me smile since after reading some of your excellent blog-posts, i think i know what your personal shift is! “cosmic proportions!” yes! thank u so much for reading, commenting and reading some more! I can’t wait to share thoughts with you. Keep on!

  4. Yeah… I’ve heard that before, perhaps not with the same words but the intention was there and it shaked me, made me ill even. Its scary to grow up but when I started taking responsability of my own failures, I think I gave the first step.

  5. Around six days after this post and I still haven’t come up with a good answer to the question. However, I love questions that inspire me to direct my thinking for such a long period so I thought I would share some of my thoughts. Perhaps I am a bit too philosophical, but I enjoy being that way so I am probably not going to stop. The part of the question that has confounded me is “… what has knocked your breath out in a good way….”. I have not been able to think of a single indecent in my life which served as a starting point for positive change or growth that I considered good at the time. However, when I look back at the most painful “bad” days I have had, I am most grateful for them because they caused me to do the things required to in act positive change.

    For me, someone proving, pointing out, or sharing something with me has almost no chance of causing me to do anything other than make a decision. I am a fine example of decision making frogs as I like to call them. (Three frogs are on a lily pad and one decides to jump off. How many are left? Three). If someone tells me that my hair is on fire and I feel fine, I will decide whether or not to believe that person and maybe even look in a mirror. However, if someone tells me that my hair is on fire and I smell smoke and feel an overwhelming burning sensation on my scalp, I will immediately jump into action and do whatever it takes to stop the pain and eventually take steps to avoid a similar situation.

    Now for the biggest turning point for positive growth in my real life. When I was twenty, for various reasons, mostly drugs, I attempted to kill myself and almost succeeded. I can truly say that was a really “bad” day at the time. However, that also was the point where I started the greatest positive change in my life. At that point, I got the help I needed and learned to deal with my issues and don’t imagine that a lesser event would have caused me to take the action necessary to grow. Hence, I am grateful for that experience and the fact that I survived, as many do not. Also, I have the ability to relate to people that have tried or are considering suicide in a way that most can’t and that makes me feel good. Just my thoughts. I can’t say that I am one of those people that has a bad day and serenely and immediately reflects upon what a wonderful growing experience I am going through, I just grow…. sometimes.

    • Dear philosophical Rick :),
      thank you for you and your comment. Your thoughts are lovely and I am privileged to share them. You’re right. Timing can be important. Not many of us feel immediately grateful for the hard times. Not all of us do either over the space of time but at least there is the hope. I’m wowed by your life’s story and am thankful you are here to share it. You are important and people need to hear you. Keep talking. Respectfully, Q

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