When You Are Hurting – Suffering Just Is

Daughters of a father who was trapped in a col...

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My dad, excellent in his suffering, has shown how to lose, how to spend the time it takes to grieve it and enjoy the rest that makes life worth living.  My dad should have a medal in suffering. If I knew where to get them I’d send word.

Some of his suffering, he played a causal part in, but who cares.  It doesn’t have a qualifying relationship to “deserving” empathy and the spiritual nod.  Those come because of Love, not our performance.

None of us are foreigners to suffering others, ourselves, cause, accident, defined and ignominious explanations.  For reason and for lack of reason we suffer.  No, the etiology of suffering isn’t why we care about its abuse.  Sure we hope not to repeat mistakes that lead to suffering and that makes it’s etiology worth reflection, but not as
a qualifier to caring.

So no.

Between one grief and another, between this fault and that fault, the loss “Is.”  It just Is.  That’s Dad’s presence I’m talking about.

In a culture counting and studying our wrongs and our rights for the purpose of squeezing currency out of it, we need presence.  Presence allows for all the rest.  The healing.  The forgiveness.  The grieving.  The hope that remains.  Presence allows for us to continue valued.

Presence allows us to live for what is still worth living for.

After writing blog-post “When You Are Hurting, Remember Why You Want To Live, And Live For That,” I heard from someone suffering via his fabulous on-line monthly journal “Psyche’s Flashlight.”  He said,

I read this after a recent stint in the hospital, and I can’t tell you how much it resonates with me. This is what saved my life.

Suffering Is.

Question:  What has helped keep you away from qualifying your suffering or that of others?  Please tell me your story.

8 thoughts on “When You Are Hurting – Suffering Just Is

  1. Now clean and sober almost 9 years, I see I was the source of most of my mental anguish, misery and discontent. Now my sufferings are so much less and are from external sources. Now I am at my optimum health to get through those times.

  2. “For reason and for lack of reason we suffer. ” An amazing line, thank you so much. Suffering is arbitrary. I have not suffered much in my life: I have watched others suffer. In the end it is the life force within us: the need to keep talking and telling and being – which drives us ever onwards. I think we share that with every animate thing on our globe.

  3. I love the statement “Suffering is.” I’d add an exclaimation point….or several. Medals for it? I’m not sure enough could be made. We all suffer to one extent or another at one time or another. The point is how we handle it. I wish I knew the answer to that. One foot in front of the other is my only way of getting through and some days that works…and other days it doesn’t. Good blog. Good question. Thanks. Happy New Year!

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