Image by krystal.pritchett via Flickr
Self-Care Tip #246 – Take care of yourself and expect that what comes from others is a gift.
Do you ever ask,
Why does drama follow me?!
It is just darn hard taking care of ourselves (including taking psychotropic medication.) Much of the rest of the world has difficulty with it too. Despite our best efforts to go towards what is friendly, we might decide that choosing the company of un-self-cared-for loved ones is more friendly to ourselves than cutting them off. That is our choice. If we want them in our lives, we are not able to just take the bits that are friendly.
Some of us are more dramatically affected by this than others. Wonder about why that is. I’m wondering if it has to do with our different perspectives of who will take care of us.
Feeling like someone else is going to take care of Me is a trap. Expecting someone else to find us for love, to expect leadership, to follow without accounting for our steps, to decide without knowing we decided, thinking someone else decided for us – these are traps.
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What do we expect other people to be for us? We will interpret the drama we encounter differently when we are our own leader. If we take care of ourselves and if we come in a state of readiness then we can offer more of these gifts and visa versa. Gifts are free and as free of agenda as our flawed selves can give.
We embrace our emotional self, our thinking self, our judgmental self, our sensory self, embrace and live ourselves up most fully, and we are most friendly when we do it with the freedom our lives were designed for.
Drama will always come up as long as we think that someone is worth being in our lives. We will remember that we chose them and can choose quantity of time, the volume, the reception and the degree of connection. We can choose freely what we will do or not do with them and live and die surrounded inside of ourselves and outside of ourselves by the connections we fought hard for.
Questions: Why do you think drama is in your life from the perspective of self-care? Since you’ve been more in tune to being a friend to yourself, has anything happened to the drama in your life? Please tell me your story.
Related Articles
- Self-Care Does NOT Always Mean Doing What You Want (friendtoyourself.com)
- Self-Care Is About More Than “Me” (friendtoyourself.com)
Friend to Yourself 
Excellent post, Sana – my feeling is that as healthy adults, we have sole responsibility for ourselves and our actions and the sooner we acknowledge this in our adult lives the happier we can be
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thank u sooooo much for this supportive comment. bluebee u’ve got my back.
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I rarely have drama in my life it is more of a comedy 🙂
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comedy is good! medicine. i do enjoy your writing also very much. u r a bit of a funny-girl! hugs
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My reply went before I was done… Drama used to be all I had but no more. I like the laughter I have now.
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My response is the same as Patricia. Used to have drama..now I can see it in others but do not buy into it.
Chris
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thanks for sharing chris.
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you know i am a bit of a drama queen as my mate allways says i think once you start concentrating on recovering rather than the opersite way round a lot of the drama goes away and i think that has a lot to do with self care a bit of an update on me i think everyone will like this one actualy i dont have to work and i dont have to find jobs but i get paid and i had a lot of anger over this and i won right but here when i have done this i have been selected for a job interview now its quite a good salary and you know what i am going for it its about 60 miles away so it would mean moving not getting into theropy but if i shut myself off from chances like this i would be mad i could not of done 8 mounth ago
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congratulations kevin blumer!!!!! woohoo! this is a pleasure to share w u. thank u for including us.
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Got to go with Patricia. I always do better when I have her frame of mind.
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u look good in that frame too. i think it brings out your eyes.
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This may sound cold and even callous, but I try to avoid people who start drama. I’ve had to learn that there are personality types which feed on it, which start it for attention, which thrive when causing problems. I thought such a conclusion was unbelievable in my 20s, but experience has taught me that there are personalities which actually SEEK out drama and like feeling at odds with people! I don’t get it… I used to try and try and try with that personality type, and now I’ve learned to bite my tongue, stay uninvolved, and as neutral as possible…The point of drama is to wound and control people, and in this decade at least, I have learned how not to get wounded that way.
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“The point of drama is to wound and control people” – ooh that was so well said. thank u for your articulation as ever ms. sarah. can’t get enough of u.
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“If we want them in our lives, we are not able to just take the bits that are friendly.”
Well said, Doc, thank you.
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thank u cin. it is a (ahem) mature (wink) and real take of our circumstances. appreciate your connection very much.
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I guess we all have to take the rough with the smooth.
I generally avoid drama.
Drama overcomplicates things. lol
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u art?!! avoid overcomplicating rough spots? smile. u r definitely smooth waters and your comedy makes us all feel better. thanks so much for bringing us with u on your “boat.”
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Happy Easter Dr. J-Q
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chocolate eggs and new beginnings to you dear carrie. thank u for your easter wish.
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My mother loved drama. Since reading the Course in Miracles and finding most of that is projection or a cry for love, I have stopped having drama loving people in my life. My mother died two years ago. Long before this I changed and could respond to her drama with objectivity. There are still family members who love drama and I stay away from them for self preservation. If I find I am unable to stay away from them, I just am careful to see where they are projecting and if it’s a true cry for love that I can answer, then I do but I stay wary.
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good ol’ empathy. i really liked your take clar. thank u.
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Gotta go with “bridgesburning” and “sarah” on this one. My partner is a very dramatic person and its always about how someone is messing up her plans etc.. I used to get sucked into it. Now I see it for what it is and let her get lost in it. I even tease her and throw in a comment about how the world is just screwing up her plans again. Tee hee
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tee hee! little villan!
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