Demanding Freedom and Other Oxymorons That Empower Our Self-Care

Désirée Nick at "Oxymoron" in Berlin...

Désirée Nick at "Oxymoron" in Berlin, 1999

I read today on bipoblogger’s blog,

I am trying so hard to keep my head wrapped around keeping a hold on this broken heart/life balance/bipolar thing.  It’s been complicated by stupid migraine headaches.  It’s hard to make sense of things and to pay attention.

Today while I was waiting for my laundry to dry, I began writing some deep thoughts, deep like I didn’t want to deal with them. I basically wrote a page of self-help advice.  I appreciate my stubbornness.

My answer:

This sounds like a woman of courage doing it, taking accountability for where she is at, afraid maybe but pressing on to start over any time she chooses, demanding her freedom to self-care.   Demanding freedom seems like an oxymoron but this is what is called for when we feel trapped.

I will add to this “answer” that self-care often seems like an oxymoron.  Such as using the brain (the same organ that is diseased) to figure out what it’s behaviors and emotions mean or everything starts and ends with Me (when we know that there was a beginning before Me) – we see the weaknesses and the conflict and we say yes.  I am an oxymoron.  I am good and bad.  I am healthy and ill.  I am growing and dying.  I am flawed but perfect.  I’m sure you have more.

Demanding freedom is a basic tenet of self-care.  We say that despite the limitations in our lives, in our decision-making, in our suffering or pleasures – despite all, I am free to do self-care.

Questions:  How have you managed to demand your freedom to self-care?  What oxymorons in your life are empowering you in your self-care?  Please tell us your story.

12 thoughts on “Demanding Freedom and Other Oxymorons That Empower Our Self-Care

  1. Writing is cathartic. It helps us see where we are and chart where we want to go while releasing these deep seated emotions as well.


  2. Oxymoron?

    I have freedom to my self-care but cannot walk through my home freely when an OCD person thinks I have “contamination” from the world outside. The areas I do walk through are ‘sanitized” each day with Lysol.

    It is being forced into unhealthy rituals before admitted to my home. It is more difficult to work on my self-care in the environment of someone who is not practicing mental self-care and is aggressive about it.

    We know they love us but OCD dominates above all else, including family. It is knowing they love us that keeps us hopeful and moving along.

    One day maybe the OCD person will see OCD as the unhealthy mind’s version of the Emperor’s New Clothes

    ”A child, however, who had no important job and could only see things as his eyes showed them to him, went up to the carriage.”The Emperor is naked,” he said”.


  3. In my decades of active alcoholism (I was functional until near the end of that) I thought I was an accepting sap and proud to be a stoic having lost so much in life and I kept plodding on and meeting most responsibilities as long as I had my end of the day alcohol. But a part of me DEMANDED that I not accept that way of life. It DEMANDED that I not accept what was unacceptable. It DEMANDED that I discontinue poisoning myself. And I know that loved ones secretly DEMANDED that my well self, my good and sober self, be available to them . The oxymoron of trying to use our unwell mind to heal ourselves to wellness is a very formidable proposition. Looks like some of us can and some cannot.


  4. I am alive but dying… from a person who craves death every day, “dying” is music to my ears. My oxymoron.
    My self-cares: I don’t want to do things, but I do them because they are good for. “I never want to leave my apartment”, “but you like going to group therapy”. “I hate taking my meds, they are such a drag”, “but one of them keeps you from hearing voices, you don’t like that”.
    I want to behave like a spoil brat and throw a fit, but that is just the child in me. I have waited many years for the adult and parent to come out and meet, so that together they can deal with that childish side of me.


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