In Gratitude. Commenting is good self-care.

In gratitude I move between these letters.  My step is often clomping and loud, but is that what we would name a “sure-step?”  Not always.  Even tripping and clipping corners bruising my legs, with my mistakes returning echoes to remind anyone who wants to know what my shifting sounds like.  Even when, I move gratefully.  And it is for you and Me and God.  We have decided confidently once at least.  At least once we have in like-minded strength chosen to dedicate our force to move us to the purpose of becoming a friend to yourself.  Many, more often than once.  Many have decided as often as they deliberately step, like a recovering spinal cord injury remembers just how to lift the leg, tilt the foot and ease it down.  Many find this purpose we have chosen at least as difficult as that.

How bout you?  More?  Less?  Gratitude is an assist for Me, as are the woven combinations of all that make up my process, my presence or we could say personal journey.  Within that weave, there is this thing that runs on the fuel that only kind feed-back can generate.  You people.  In truth, I can not move very far with out you.

I have two specific thank-you’s of this kind.

Some time ago, Beth Parker, gifted the Liebster Award and more recently, Cathy gave the Versatile blogger Award.  These girls are kind.  They are friendly and they are funny.  They give and some of what they give, specifically incredible generous feedback like this, is essential to Me.  I’m pretty sure it’s on the periodic table of elements.  Without it, I’d poop out, like an old jalopy in the desert.  I am grateful.

There’s a bit of an overlap in some spaces of these awards and I’m going to snip it back a little since the day is spent.  The good stuff really is naming off you wonders out there who have voices that must be heard.  I’m going to remake the to-do’s of these awards, because I can and that’s the kind of girl I am ;).

My deep gratitude compels me to name off the folks who comment.  They talk.  They speak and connect and let themselves know and be known.  What an honor.  You, and to all have had the courage to write your vulnerable self into words and engage – Thank you.

This commenting-thing is more than pom-pom action.  When we speak out loud, we open closet doors, shame is aired, fears are invited for tea and then ushered out more easily.  We hook into the self-care tips and make them our own when we breathe out audibly.  We may not know it but we claim them and the people in this community of “Friend to Yourself-ers” or FTY’s.  (How do you like that?  FTY?)  This is awesome and powerful and free.  As we say here, “speak.”

You may or may not be on this “WordPress” generated statistic of commenters, but either way, you are here with us.  You fuel us in our life journey uniquely and importantly.  For those who read but don’t comment, thank you as well for letting us share ourselves with you.  Comment if you will, but keep coming either way.

In gratitude:

Nancy 64
Carl D’Agostino 50
Col 34
Cindy Taylor 26
duckofindeed 21
livingvictoriously 17



31 thoughts on “In Gratitude. Commenting is good self-care.

  1. After reading this blog, I felt compelled to comment for the first time. I’ve wanted to before, but felt too shy or unsure. It does feel like good self care to express myself; but there have been occasions in my life when the vulnerability of expression was not rewarded. In fact, it was punished. Or, at least, I perceived it as punishment because the resulting feedback made me feel embarrassed or angry or sad. I think it’s time for me to take the risk again and this feels like a safe place to do that. For this, I am grateful.


    • beth, i was so happy to read your comment here. whooop! i know nancy was too. she’s often said how much she appreciates everyone’s voice and preens for more.
      yes, u r not alone in getting poodos instead of cudos for trying to be friendly to yourself. it isn’t exactly easy too often – but hey. it’s friendly i guess and if we cannot b that for ourselves, the ripple effect will just never get started. i celebrate your voice w us and can’t wait to hear what ripples the experience brings back to u. let us know. keep talking.


  2. Pingback: In Gratitude. Commenting is good self-care. | One child at a time |

  3. Once again, Sana, I am better off for having come by here to read your post. I LOVE that you changed the to-dos and lauded your comment-givers. I enjoy reading their comments very much when I come to visit you. (My generator just kicked up to a smoother tempo… Thanks for the fuel!) 🙂


  4. Even aside from commenting, your stats will never show the fact that I read the posts via email, even if I don’t stop by.
    Thanks for writing. This stuff doesn’t just magically appear, it takes time!


  5. Beth and Carl have both said it above – It is safe here. I have actually shared more here than I did in sixteen years of therapy, I think. For those who are reading and are afraid to comment, I want to say that I was so afraid to write what I really felt (but so desperately wanted to – and NEEDED to!!) when I first visited Friendtoyourself that I questioned how public a place this was and how safe I was in writing, and Sana (God bless you, my friend!) actually sent me a message re-assuring me. And so, over the months that followed, I just wrote and, as I did so, it truely felt as if the weight of the world was being lifted off my shoulders. I cried a lot as I wrote…and I cried as I read what others wrote about what I needed to read and hear and know about mental illness and the things we share as those who struggle with brain illnesses. And, as I began to literally get better because of this blog, I began to smile and nod and know that the safety and, as Carl also said, community that is this blog can be (has been for me) better medicine than medicine, better therapy than therapy, better understanding than any research, better friendship than any I have had since I had my first breakdown over 30 years ago. I may have written more than anyone else, and, too often maybe, I may have written longer comments than I should have (like I am now :-}?), but in doing so, I have healed in so many ways that it not only amazes me, it amazes my family and others who have known me throughout my illness. No, I don’t suggest that Friendtoyourself replace medication, therapy, research or friends because they are all important parts of our healing process, but I do suggest to you, Beth, and to others who are have been afraid to stick a toe into the waters of this blog site, that, if you do, you will find it cathartic and comforting and so very, very safe. We know who we are only by what we write. We probably will never meet. We, therefore, won’t judge. But we care and we know we are cared about.

    Gratitude, Sana? We should be thanking you – and we do, but not often enough – but I’m glad you expressed gratitude to all who are a part of this journey because I, frankly, would not be where I am right now (on what will undoubtedly be an unending quest for healing for the rest of my life) without all of you and I couldn’t be more grateful.


    • And, as proof of what I wrote here a couple of days ago, tonight I sit in so much physical and emotional pain that I am, for the first time in almost a year and a half, questioning my decisions involving both medication and talk therapy. Nothing drastic has happened; it’s just that so many “little” things have happened – a daughter considering surgery when she does not do well coming out of anethesia, the same daughter knowing that any day now she will be putting down our seventeen-year-old granddog (her “baby girl”), our other daughter struggling with not only repairing her home that was destroyed by an oak tree but trying to readjust to her marriage after her husband has returned home from twenty months away on a job, my husband mourning the loss of the many trees in his precious yard and gardens that were destroyed by the power company today and all of this making us question whether we should actually go to our beloved California this winter. So, instead of being strong for my loved ones, my body tightens up with fibromyalgia to the point that doing anything is almost impossible and my mind turns to mental mush that results in gallons of tears. All of this to say, dear Beth, if you read this, that where I turned tonight was here – to “talk” about how frustrating it is to have a brain illness, to quiet the muscles and the brain before making any decisions that, before I came to this site, would have been automatic and, too frequently, traumatic. Tomorrow is another day. In two weeks we may well be on the other side of not only the problems here but literally the other side of the country. Everything will be okay, no matter what, I have no doubt, but on this rainy, cold night having a community to talk with means everything to my mental well-being. Thank you.


    • chris, i think of u often now when i think of “caregiver.” i wonder, “what would chris think..? say..?” after a comment or idea pops up along that theme. i also often wonder, if i were in chris’s shoes… and that’s scarier sometimes.
      thank u for being w us and for your positive wise self. thank u for letting us know where we r in your world. keep on.


  6. Nice blog to start out my day. May I let some of those close to me know my gratitude and how appreciative I am of who I am because of those who have touched my tiny little life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s