Live with an agenda

dionna, 1991.

dionna, 1991. (Photo credit: paul posadas)

The blue dragon lifted her head from near-sleep.  She knew.  Pouncing onto the rocky ledge gave her the advantage.  No one would challenge her.  The fresh corpse was for her alone.  As she ate the remains of Dionna, the red dragon who had never flown, the memories of Dionna infused her.  The blue dragon in this had saved those memories and would live them into the forwardness of time.  

Why is it that we repeat the mistakes of our forefathers?  It would be nice if we could somehow be able to capture their hard-earned life experiences.  If dragon lore were true, perhaps.

In Papua New Guinea, Congo, cannibals on the Disneyland Jungle Cruise and who knows where else, eating brain to preserve the life force, save your daughters or avoid the mistakes Dad made gets you a bad and yucky disease called, kuru.  Nothing good comes from eating brain.

And so the blue dragon, whose scales shone in the morning sun, began to tremble and seemed confused over the years.  Her brain got holes like a sponge and she laughed at inappropriate times.  

We just cannot get a leg up on wisdom and experience.  We are not made for it.  Each of make our own mistakes, have to work our own fingers to the bone, and other knowing clichés that in this case just are the darn truth.

What blue dragon and kuru are trying to tell us are that the agenda Love has for us is not to build up experiences like some sort of mental tower of babel.  It is not about the mistakes.  It is about our life experience.

We cannot help but wonder, though.  After working in psychiatry for these many years, I wonder what a joy it would be to give that experience, knowledge, skill of practice and such to my daughter some day.  Ah.  As if it had its own life force, passing it on to my daughter feels like a bit of immortality.

When I die, just eat my frontal lobe, darling.  Not the limbic system.

We are meant to live.  In that living, we inevitably repeat foibles and build up muscles and manage to survive all kinds of suffering.  In that living, we are beat up and rejected.  We are perfect.  We are flawed.  We are marvelous.

Maybe the agenda is not to get it better with each generation or to get it right.  Maybe the agenda is to live.

Question:  Have you ever been frustrated at how quickly your gains in life will be/are lost?  What is the agenda of your life?  Please tell us your story.

Self-Care Tip:  Live life with a quality-experience agenda.


12 thoughts on “Live with an agenda

  1. Are you kidding me. WHY WHY WHY do we make gains and lose them again?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is beyond frustrating. I had it . . . I don’t have it. AUGHHHHHH. So frustrating. So I just do my best to be present and more than that these days. Grace. I try really to do nothing and allow Grace to lead the way. So when I start arm wrestling my way through the day or catch myself working up a head of steam I remind myself about Grace and allow Grace to be in my life. Much more peaceful!


      • : O ). I am hoping with our children that I allow them to deeply have their own journey. If anything its do the opposite of what I am doing sometimes! I realized early that its their lives and we are stewards only. They are not “ours” and they need to have their own experiences just like we do. Its how we become what we become. Now . . I say that very carefully, because not all of us appreciate many of the experiences we have had but . . . they make us who we are and who we can and will become.
        Love you Sana. Col


          • For me I realized early on that my ego could get wrapped up in my perceptions of their successes and failures. I wanted to shield them from pain and suffering, I wanted them to be happy happy happy and it to be joy joy all day long. Which would have been the opposite of what I had. That’s not real and I learned that pretty quick. Not a comfortable reality. But it allowed me to stand back and be objective and in that place I was able to better parent. To not take the teachers saying things so personally, the kids being mean, whatever. Its hard to allow our children to have the tough experiences, but its theirs, not ours. Have we had our experiences good and bad and have we become the people we are today because of them?! Our children have the same right. And when they are traveling down a track that scares the daylights out of us that is hard. Love them and let them know when their behaviour is disappointing and move on. All the counselors told me to love my kids, hold them close as they would allow, hug them and let them have their lives, they would make it through, and they have, our eldest is 22, next is 19 and then 14. They are amazing human beings, with their warts, and all and they are my favorite people to be with. Don’t take them personal or what they do, its not. It never is. Love love love.


  2. Ah, the joy of not having kids 😉 Most of my adult life I’ve made it a point to not repeat the mistakes of others. I’ve been pretty successful at it, too. Now, when it comes to my own mistakes? All I can say is that I hope someone learned from them. They’re the kind when you see them you say, “Dayam! I wouldn’t do that again, if I were you!”


  3. Absolutely! 🙂 Out of anyone in my life, I think you’ve seen most of my learning experiences, and had the grace enough to take me back in, dust off my skinned knees, and ask if I was ready to try something now, that would work out for my best interest.

    So, yes, you can shout, “Dayam!” from the rooftops 🙂


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